He Knew He Was Right. Anthony Trollope
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“Miss Rowley is pretty well,” said Trevelyan.
Previously to this, Trevelyan when speaking of his sister-in-law to Stanbury, had always called her Nora, and had been wont to speak of her as though she were almost as much the friend of one of them as of the other. The change of tone on this occasion was in truth occasioned by the sadness of the man’s thoughts in reference to his wife, but Stanbury attributed it to another cause. “He need not be afraid of me,” he said to himself, “and at least he should not show me that he is.” Then they parted, Trevelyan going into Twining’s bank, and Stanbury passing on towards the office of the Daily R.
Stanbury had in truth been altogether mistaken as to the state of his friend’s mind on that morning. Trevelyan, although he had, according to his custom, put in a word in condemnation of the newspaper line of life, was at the moment thinking whether he would not tell all his trouble to Hugh Stanbury. He knew that he should not find anywhere, not even in Mr. Bideawhile, a more friendly or more trustworthy listener. When Nora Rowley’s name had been mentioned, he had not thought of her. He had simply repeated the name with the usual answer. He was at the moment cautioning himself against a confidence which after all might not be necessary, and which on this occasion was not made. When one is in trouble it is a great ease to tell one’s trouble to a friend; but then one should always wash one’s dirty linen at home. The latter consideration prevailed, and Trevelyan allowed his friend to go on without burdening him with the story of that domestic quarrel. Nor did he on that occasion tell it to Mr. Bideawhile; for Mr. Bideawhile was not found at his chambers.
Chapter V.
Shewing How the Quarrel Progressed
Trevelyan got back to his own house at about three, and on going into the library, found on his table a letter to him addressed in his wife’s handwriting. He opened it quickly, hoping to find that promise which he had demanded, and resolving that if it were made he would at once become affectionate, yielding, and gentle to his wife. But there was not a word written by his wife within the envelope. It contained simply another letter, already opened, addressed to her. This letter had been brought up to her during her husband’s absence from the house, and was as follows:—
Acrobats, Thursday.
Dear Emily,
I have just come from the Colonial Office. It is all settled, and Sir M. has been sent for. Of course, you will tell T. now.
Yours, F. O.
The letter was, of course, from Colonel Osborne, and Mrs. Trevelyan, when she received it, had had great doubts whether she would enclose it to her husband opened or unopened. She had hitherto refused to make the promise which her husband exacted, but nevertheless, she was minded to obey him. Had he included in his demand any requirement that she should receive no letter from Colonel Osborne, she would not have opened this one. But nothing had been said about letters, and she would not shew herself to be afraid. So she read the note, and then sent it down to be put on Mr. Trevelyan’s table in an envelope addressed to him.
“If he is not altogether blinded, it will show him how cruelly he has wronged me,” said she to her sister. She was sitting at the time with her boy in her lap, telling herself that the child’s features were in all respects the very same as his father’s, and that, come what come might, the child should always be taught by her to love and respect his father. And then there came a horrible thought. What if the child should be taken away from her? If this quarrel, out of which she saw no present mode of escape, were to lead to a separation between her and her husband, would not the law, and the judges, and the courts, and all the Lady Milboroughs of their joint acquaintance into the bargain, say that the child should go with his father? The judges, and the courts, and the Lady Milboroughs would, of course, say that she was the sinner. And what could she do without her boy? Would not any humility, any grovelling in the dust be better for her than that? “It is a very poor thing to be a woman,” she said to her sister.
“It is perhaps better than being a dog,” said Nora; “but, of course, we can’t compare ourselves to men.”
“It would be better to be a dog. One wouldn’t be made to suffer so much. When a puppy is taken away from its mother, she is bad enough for a few days, but she gets over it in a week.” There was a pause then for a few moments. Nora knew well which way ran the current of her sister’s thoughts, and had nothing at the present moment which she could say on that subject. “It is very hard for a woman to know what to do,” continued Emily, “but if she is to marry, I think she had better marry a fool. After all, a fool generally knows that he is a fool, and will trust some one, though he may not trust his wife.”
“I will never wittingly marry a fool,” said Nora.
“You will marry Mr. Glascock, of course. I don’t say that he is a fool; but I do not think he has that kind of strength which shows itself in perversity.”
“If he asked me, I should not have him;—and he will never ask me.”
“He will ask you, and, of course, you’ll take him. Why not? You can’t be otherwise than a woman. And you must marry. And this man is a gentleman, and will be a peer. There is nothing on earth against him, except that he does not set the Thames on fire. Louis intends to set the Thames on fire some day, and see what comes of it.”
“All the same, I shall not marry Mr. Glascock. A woman can die, at any rate,” said Nora.
“No, she can’t. A woman must be decent; and to die of want is very indecent. She can’t die, and she mustn’t be in want, and she oughtn’t to be a burden. I suppose it was thought necessary that every man should have two to choose from; and therefore there are so many more of us than the world wants. I wonder whether you’d mind taking that downstairs to his table? I don’t like to send it by the servant; and I don’t want to go myself.”
Then Nora had taken the letter down, and left it where Louis Trevelyan would be sure to find it.
He did find it, and was sorely disappointed when he perceived that it contained no word from his wife to himself. He opened Colonel Osborne’s note, and read it, and became, as he did so, almost more angry than before. Who was this man that he should dare to address another man’s wife as “Dear Emily?” At the moment Trevelyan remembered well enough that he had heard the man so call his wife, that it had been done openly in his presence, and had not given him a thought. But Lady Rowley and Sir Marmaduke had then been present also; and that man on that occasion had been the old friend of the old father, and not the would-be young friend of the young daughter. Trevelyan could hardly reason about it, but felt that whereas the one was not improper, the other was grossly impertinent, and even wicked. And then, again, his wife, his Emily, was to show to him, to her husband, or was not to show to him, the letter which she received from this man, the letter in which she was addressed as “Dear Emily,” according to this man’s judgment and wish, and not according to his judgment and wish,—not according to the judgment and wish of him who was her husband, her lord, and her master! “Of course you will tell T. now.” This was intolerable to him. It made him feel that he was to be regarded as second, and this man to be regarded as first. And then he began to recapitulate all the good things he had done for his wife, and all the causes which he had given her for gratitude. Had he not taken her to his bosom, and bestowed upon her the half of all that he had simply for herself, asking for nothing more than her love? He had possessed money, position, a name,—all that makes life worth having. He had found her in a remote corner of the world, with no fortune, with no