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instance, take a Haunted Tower, With skull, cross-bones, and sheet; Blue lights to burn (say) two an hour, Condensing lens of extra power, And set of chains complete: “What with the things you have to hire— The fitting on the robe— And testing all the coloured fire— The outfit of itself would tire The patience of a Job! “And then they’re so fastidious, The Haunted-House Committee: I’ve often known them make a fuss Because a Ghost was French, or Russ, Or even from the City! “Some dialects are objected to— For one, the Irish brogue is: And then, for all you have to do, One pound a week they offer you, And find yourself in Bogies!”
CANTO V.
Byckerment.
| “Don’t they consult the ‘Victims,’ though?” I said. “They should, by rights, Give them a chance—because, you know, The tastes of people differ so, Especially in Sprites.” The Phantom shook his head and smiled. “Consult them? Not a bit! ’Twould be a job to drive one wild, To satisfy one single child— There’d be no end to it!” “Of course you can’t leave children free,” Said I, “to pick and choose: But, in the case of men like me, I think ‘Mine Host’ might fairly be Allowed to state his views.” He said “It really wouldn’t pay— Folk are so full of fancies. We visit for a single day, And whether then we go, or stay, Depends on circumstances. “And, though we don’t consult ‘Mine Host’ Before the thing’s arranged, Still, if he often quits his post, Or is not a well-mannered Ghost, Then you can have him changed. “But if the host’s a man like you— I mean a man of sense; And if the house is not too new—” “Why, what has that,” said I, “to do With Ghost’s convenience?” “A new house does not suit, you know— It’s such a job to trim it: But, after twenty years or so, The wainscotings begin to go, So twenty is the limit.” “To trim” was not a phrase I could Remember having heard: “Perhaps,” I said, “you’ll be so good As tell me what is understood Exactly by that word?” |
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