Bennet.
My dear Lizzy, I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I don't pretend to be anything extraordinary now. [Mr. Collins enters.] Oh, Mr. Collins, there you are.
Mr. Collins.
[Bowing profoundly.] I do not find Mr. Bennet in the library, Madam. Do you know where he is?
Mrs. Bennet.
Why, really, Mr. Collins, I can't imagine. Did you enjoy your walk?
Mr. Collins.
Most assuredly, Madam. The beauties of nature, not only in the landscape, but also [Bowing to Elizabeth and Charlotte Lucas.] in the blooming countenances of my fair companions, made our expedition a peculiarly enjoyable one.
Mrs. Bennet.
Well, I am very glad of it, I am sure. [To Jane and Lydia.] Girls, we haven't told Lizzy and Charlotte the news.
Elizabeth.
What news, mamma?
Mrs. Bennet.
[Looking at Charlotte with an ill-concealed triumph.] Oh, nothing of consequence, Lizzy, only your father has just told us that we may expect a visit at any time from our new neighbour, Mr. Bingley, and that friend of his who is stopping with him.
Elizabeth.
Oh, Mr. Bingley! That will be entertaining. [Suddenly with mischief she turns to Mr. Collins, who all through this latter conversation has been staring at Jane with solemn persistence.] Do not you think so, Mr. Collins?
Mr. Collins.
[Starting from his absorption.] Eh? What? [Pompously again.] Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth, on what subject did you ask my opinion?
Elizabeth.
I asked you if you didn't think it was a very pleasant thing to meet new neighbours.
Mr. Collins.
Most assuredly, Miss Elizabeth, if those neighbours are possessed of those qualifications which redound to their own credit, and to the edification of their friends. Otherwise, as a clergyman, I must hesitate in my approval. [To Mrs. Bennet.] You realise, I am sure, Madam, the caution which should ever be exercised where my amiable young cousins are concerned.
Elizabeth.
Yes, mamma, you really should be cautious.
Mrs. Bennet.
Nonsense! Why, my dear Mr. Collins, we have found out all about them. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy are connected with some of the most respectable families in England.
Mr. Collins.
[In amazement.] Mr. Darcy? Mr. Fitzgerald Darcy! My dear Madam, can it be possible that you are to be honoured by a visit from him? Respectable indeed! Why, he is the nephew of my noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourg. It is true that I have never yet had the honour of meeting him—but he frequently visits his aunt, and she has promised to bring him on some occasion to inspect my humble abode. I am surprised, indeed, by this civility on his part. [Anxiously.] I only fear there may be some mistake, for Mr. Darcy has the reputation of possessing a very natural pride of birth; but if your information is indeed to be relied upon, I think Lady Catherine would consent to my approval of this visit, provided my fair cousins will keep in mind the proper attitude of respectful humility which should be assumed toward a person of his superior station.
Elizabeth.
We will promise you, Mr. Collins, never for one instant to forget either Mr. Darcy's exalted position or our own insignificance.
Mr. Collins.
[Looking at her with admiration.] With that assurance, Miss Elizabeth, I think even Lady Catherine would be satisfied. So I need no longer withhold my sanction.
Elizabeth.
[Curtsying.] We thank you, sir.
Mr. Collins.
This is the very attitude of mind I could desire. [To Mrs. Bennet.] I think, with your permission, I will now retire again to the library. [Going over smilingly to Jane.] There was a volume of Fordyce's sermons that you may remember I was reading to you in this room yesterday. I do not find it in the library. Do you know where it is? [Looking about him.]
Jane.
I haven't seen it, Mr. Collins. I will try to find it for you. [She starts as if to go out of the room.]
Mrs. Bennet.
[Wishing to leave them together.] No—no, Lydia will find it. Lydia, my love, go see if you can find the sermons for Mr. Collins.
[Lydia, with a grimace, rises slowly from her chair.]
Charlotte Lucas.
Oh, Mrs. Bennet, I am quite sure that I saw the book in the hall. I will go fetch it.
Mrs. Bennet.
[Sharply.] On no account, Charlotte. Lydia will find the book. Lizzy, go and get the mud off your shoes.
Mr. Collins.
Oh, I will not trouble any of you ladies.
Mrs. Bennet.
It is no trouble, Mr. Collins. Charlotte, if you will come with me, I have a parcel I should like to send your mother.
Mr. Collins.
But I assure you, Madam——
[As they go out, Mrs. Bennet—looking daggers at Charlotte—tries to keep Mr. Collins with Jane.]
Mrs. Bennet.
Lydia will find your book, Mr. Collins.
Mr. Collins.
On no account, Madam——
[With awkward gallantry Mr. Collins ushers out the ladies—Lydia rebellious, Charlotte somewhat offended.]
Elizabeth.
[With an amused smile, having watched the party vanish, turns to Jane and speaks to her in mock-heroic fashion.] Miss Bennet! Do you realise the honour which is so soon to fall upon our humble home, and our gratefully humble selves?
Jane.
[Smiling.] Oh, Lizzy!
Elizabeth.
Do you really grasp in its full significance the fact that we may soon be honoured by a visit from Mr. Bingley of Netherfield
