some fine girlNamed Bertha; but her surname will not come,
Without a little conjuring.” “’Tis Pearl,
’Tis Bertha Pearl! What makes my brain so whirl?
And she is softer, fairer than her name!”
“Where does she live?” ask’d Hum. “Her fair locks curl
So brightly, they put all our fays to shame!
Live? O! at Canterbury, with her old grand-dame.”
“Good! good!” cried Hum, “I’ve known her from a child!
She is a changeling of my management;
She was born at midnight in an Indian wild;
Her mother’s screams with the striped tiger’s blent,
While the torch-bearing slaves a halloo sent
Into the jungles; and her palanquin,
Rested amid the desert’s dreariment,
Shook with her agony, till fair were seen
The little Bertha’s eyes ope on the stars serene.”
“I can’t say,” said the monarch; “that may be
Just as it happen’d, true or else a bam!
Drink up your brandy, and sit down by me,
Feel, feel my pulse, how much in love I am;
And if your science is not all a sham.
Tell me some means to get the lady here.”
“Upon my honour!” said the son of Cham,
“She is my dainty changeling, near and dear,
Although her story sounds at first a little queer.”
“Convey her to me, Hum, or by my crown,
My sceptre, and my cross-surmounted globe,
I’ll knock you” “Does your majesty mean down?
No, no, you never could my feelings probe
To such a depth!” The Emperor took his robe,
And wept upon its purple palatine,
While Hum continued, shamming half a sob,
“In Canterbury doth your lady shine?
But let me cool your brandy with a little wine.”
Whereat a narrow Flemish glass he took,
That since belong’d to Admiral De Witt,
Admir’d it with a connoisseuring look,
And with the ripest claret crowned it,
And, ere the lively bead could burst and flit,
He turn’d it quickly, nimbly upside down,
His mouth being held conveniently fit
To catch the treasure: “Best in all the town!”
He said, smack’d his moist lips, and gave a pleasant frown.
“Ah! good my Prince, weep not!” And then again
He filled a bumper. “Great Sire, do not weep!
Your pulse is shocking, but I’ll ease your pain.”
“Fetch me that Ottoman, and prithee keep
Your voice low,” said the Emperor; “and steep
Some lady’s-fingers nice in Candy wine;
And prithee, Hum, behind the screen do peep
For the rose-water vase, magician mine!
And sponge my forehead, so my love doth make me pine.
“Ah, cursed Bellanaine!” “Don’t think of her,”
Rejoin’d the Mago, “but on Bertha muse;
For, by my choicest best barometer,
You shall not throttled be in marriage noose;
I’ve said it, Sire; you only have to choose
Bertha or Bellanaine.” So saying, he drew
From the left pocket of his threadbare hose,
A sampler hoarded slyly, good as new,
Holding it by his thumb and finger full in view.
“Sire, this is Bertha Pearl’s neat handy-work,
Her name, see here, Midsummer, ninety-one.”
Elfinan snatch’d it with a sudden jerk,
And wept as if he never would have done,
Honouring with royal tears the poor homespun;
Whereon were broider’d tigers with black eyes,
And long-tail’d pheasants, and a rising sun,
Plenty of posies, great stags, butterflies
Bigger than stags, a moon, with other mysteries.
The monarch handled o’er and o’er again
Those day-school hieroglyphics with a sigh;
Somewhat in sadness, but pleas’d in the main,
Till this oracular couplet met his eye
Astounded Cupid, I do thee defy!
It was too much. He shrunk back in his chair,
Grew pale as death, and fainted very nigh!
“Pho! nonsense!” exclaim’d Hum, “now don’t despair;
She does not mean it really. Cheer up, hearty there!
“And listen to my words. You say you won’t,
On any terms, marry Miss Bellanaine;
It goes against your conscience good! Well, don’t.
You say you love a mortal. I would fain
Persuade your honour’s highness to refrain
From peccadilloes. But, Sire, as I say,
What good would that do? And, to be more plain,
You would do me a mischief some odd day,
Cut off my ears and limbs, or head too, by my fay!
“Besides, manners forbid that I should pass any
Vile strictures on the conduct of a prince
Who should indulge his genius, if he has any,
Not, like a subject, foolish matters mince.
Now I think on’t, perhaps I could convince
Your Majesty there is no crime at all
In loving pretty little Bertha, since
She’s very delicate, not over tall,
A fairy’s hand, and in the waist why very small.”
“Ring the repeater, gentle Hum!” “’Tis five,”
Said the gentle Hum; “the nights draw in apace;
The little birds I hear are all alive;
I see the dawning touch’d upon your face;
Shall I put out the candles, please your Grace?”
“Do put them out, and, without more ado,
Tell me how I may that sweet girl embrace,
How you can bring
