The Complete Works of Mark Twain. Mark Twain
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“Gave them the outside slabs to fence in the reservation with. Governor Balloon was nothing less than a father to the poor Indians. But Balloon is not alone, we have many truly noble statesmen in our country’s service like Balloon. The Senate is full of them. Don’t you think so Colonel?”
“Well, I dunno. I honor my country’s public servants as much as any one can. I meet them, Sir, every day, and the more I see of them the more I esteem them and the more grateful I am that our institutions give us the opportunity of securing their services. Few lands are so blest.”
“That is true, Colonel. To be sure you can buy now and then a Senator or a Representative but they do not know it is wrong, and so they are not ashamed of it. They are gentle, and confiding and childlike, and in my opinion these are qualities that ennoble them far more than any amount of sinful sagacity could. I quite agree with you, Col. Sellers.”
“Well” — hesitated the Colonel — ”I am afraid some of them do buy their seats — yes, I am afraid they do — but as Senator Dilworthy himself said to me, it is sinful, — it is very wrong — it is shameful; Heaven protect me from such a charge. That is what Dilworthy said. And yet when you come to look at it you cannot deny that we would have to go without the services of some of our ablest men, sir, if the country were opposed to — to — bribery. It is a harsh term. I do not like to use it.”
The Colonel interrupted himself at this point to meet an engagement with the Austrian minister, and took his leave with his usual courtly bow.
CHAPTER XXXVI.
In due time Laura alighted at the book store, and began to look at the titles of the handsome array of books on the counter. A dapper clerk of perhaps nineteen or twenty years, with hair accurately parted and surprisingly slick, came bustling up and leaned over with a pretty smile and an affable —
“Can I — was there any particular book you wished to see?”
“Have you Taine’s England?”
“Beg pardon?”
“Taine’s Notes on England.”
The young gentleman scratched the side of his nose with a cedar pencil which he took down from its bracket on the side of his head, and reflected a moment:
“Ah — I see,” [with a bright smile] — ”Train, you mean — not Taine. George Francis Train. No, ma’m we — ”
“I mean Taine — if I may take the liberty.”
The clerk reflected again — then:
“Taine … . Taine … . Is it hymns?”
“No, it isn’t hymns. It is a volume that is making a deal of talk just now, and is very widely known — except among parties who sell it.”
The clerk glanced at her face to see if a sarcasm might not lurk somewhere in that obscure speech, but the gentle simplicity of the beautiful eyes that met his, banished that suspicion. He went away and conferred with the proprietor. Both appeared to be nonplussed. They thought and talked, and talked and thought by turns. Then both came forward and the proprietor said:
“Is it an American book, ma’m?”
“No, it is an American reprint of an English translation.”
“Oh! Yes — yes — I remember, now. We are expecting it every day. It isn’t out yet.”
“I think you must be mistaken, because you advertised it a week ago.”
“Why no — can that be so?”
“Yes, I am sure of it. And besides, here is the book itself, on the counter.”
She bought it and the proprietor retired from the field. Then she asked the clerk for the Autocrat of the Breakfast Table — and was pained to see the admiration her beauty had inspired in him fade out of his face. He said with cold dignity, that cook books were somewhat out of their line, but he would order it if she desired it. She said, no, never mind. Then she fell to conning the titles again, finding a delight in the inspection of the Hawthornes, the Longfellows, the Tennysons, and other favorites of her idle hours. Meantime the clerk’s eyes were busy, and no doubt his admiration was returning again — or may be he was only gauging her probable literary tastes by some sagacious system of admeasurement only known to his guild. Now he began to “assist” her in making a selection; but his efforts met with no success — indeed they only annoyed her and unpleasantly interrupted her meditations. Presently, while she was holding a copy of “Venetian Life” in her hand and running over a familiar passage here and there, the clerk said, briskly, snatching up a paper-covered volume and striking the counter a smart blow with it to dislodge the dust:
“Now here is a work that we’ve sold a lot of. Everybody that’s read it likes it” — and he intruded it under her nose; “it’s a book that I can recommend — ’The Pirate’s Doom, or the Last of the Buccaneers.’ I think it’s one of the best things that’s come out this season.”
Laura pushed it gently aside with her hand and went on and went on filching from “Venetian Life.”
“I believe I do not want it,” she said.
The clerk hunted around awhile, glancing at one title and then another, but apparently not finding what he wanted.
However, he succeeded at last. Said he:
“Have you ever read this, ma’m? I am sure you’ll like it. It’s by the author of ‘The Hooligans of Hackensack.’ It is full of love troubles and mysteries and all sorts of such things. The heroine strangles her own mother. Just glance at the title please, — ’Gonderil the Vampire, or The Dance of Death.’ And here is ‘The Jokist’s Own Treasury, or, The Phunny Phellow’s Bosom Phriend.’ The funniest thing! — I’ve read it four times, ma’m, and I can laugh at the very sight of it yet. And ‘Gonderil,’ — I assure you it is the most splendid book I ever read. I know you will like these books, ma’m, because I’ve read them myself and I know what they are.”
“Oh, I was perplexed — but I see how it is, now. You must have thought I asked you to tell me what sort of books I wanted — for I am apt to say things which I don’t really mean, when I am absent minded. I suppose I did ask you, didn’t I?”
“No ma’m, — but I — ”
“Yes, I must have done it, else you would not have offered your services, for fear it might be rude. But don’t be troubled — it was all my fault. I ought not to have been so heedless — I ought not to have asked you.”
“But