on what subject it talk'd, but it made my husband take dudgeon."
"To be sure, Madam, he is in the wrong," replied the nuns: "people ought not to put themselves into such passions for trifles!——How! your Toy has spoke. Pray does it speak still? How charm'd we should be to hear it! It must certainly express itself with wit and a good grace." They were gratified: for the Sultan turn'd his ring on the poor recluse, and her Toy thank'd them for their civilities; protesting to them at the same time, that how pleased soever it was with their company, that of a Bramin would suit it better.
The Sultan embraced the opportunity, to learn some particulars of the life of these virgins. His Ring interrogated the Toy of a young recluse, whose name was Cleanthis; and the pretended virgin-Toy confessed two gardeners, a Bramin, and three cavaliers; and related how by the assistance of a purging draught and two bleedings, she had escaped giving scandal. Zephirina owned, by the organ of her Toy, that she was indebted to the errand-boy of the house, for the honourable title of mother. But one thing that astonish'd the Sultan, was, that tho' those sequester'd Toys expressed themselves in very indecent terms; the virgins, to whom they belong'd, heard them without blushing: which made him conjecture, that if they failed of the practical part in those retreats, they had in return a large share of speculation.
In order to clear up this point, he turn'd his ring on a novice between fifteen and sixteen years of age. "Flora," said her Toy, "has more than once ogled a young officer thro' the grate. I am certain that she had an inclination for him. Her little finger told me so." This was a mortifying stroke for Flora. The ancient ladies condemned her to two months silence and discipline; and ordered prayers, that the Toys of the community might remain mute.
CHAP. IX.
The state of the academy of sciences at Banza.
Mangogul had scarcely quitted the recluses, among whom I left him, when a report was spread thro' Banza, that the virgins of the congregation of Brama's Coccyx, spoke by their Toys. This report, to which Husseim's violent proceedings had given credit, rouzed the curiosity of the learned. The phænomenon was thoroughly examined and allowed: and the freethinkers began to seek in the properties of matter, the reasons of a fact, which they had at first deemed impossible. The tattle of the Toys gave birth to a great number of excellent works; and this important subject swell'd the collections of the academies with several memoirs, which may be esteemed the utmost efforts of human understanding.
In order to model and perpetuate that of Banza, invitations with suitable encouragement had been, and still continued to be, given to all persons of the brightest parts in Congo, Monoémugi, Beleguanza, and the circumjacent kingdoms. It took in, under different titles, all those who had distinguished themselves in natural history, natural philosophy, mathematicks, and the greatest part of those, who promised to make a figure in them one time or other. This swarm of indefatigable bees labour'd incessantly in the research of truth, and every year the public reaped the fruits of their labours in a volume full of discoveries.
It was at that time divided into two factions, the one composed of Vorticists, and the other of Attractionists. Olibrio, an able geometrician and great natural philosopher, founded the sect of the Vorticists. Circino, an able natural philosopher and great geometrician, was the first Attractionist. Both Olibrio and Circino proposed to explain nature. Olibrio's principles have at first sight a certain air of simplicity, which seduces: in the gross they account for the principal phænomena, but they contradict themselves in the detail. As for Circino, he seems to set out upon an absurdity; but 'tis the first step alone that is expensive. The minute details, which ruin Olibrio's system, establish his. He follows a road, dark at entrance, but which grows more lightsome according as a person advances. On the contrary, that of Olibrio, lightsome at entrance, grows darker and darker. The philosophy of the latter requires less study than understanding. One cannot be a disciple of the former, without a large share of understanding and study. One enters without preparation into Olibrio's school; every body has the key of it. That of Circino is open to none but geometricians of the first class. Olibrio's Vortices are within the reach of all capacities. Circino's central powers are made for first rate Algebraists only. Wherefore there will always be an hundred Vorticists for one Attractionist; and one Attractionist will always be worth an hundred Vorticists. Such was the state of the academy of sciences at Banza, when it handled the subject of the indiscreet Toys.
This phænomenon was very slippery: it dodged the attraction, and the subtile matter could not come within reach of it. In vain did the president summon all those who had any notions, to communicate them: a profound silence reigned in the assembly. At length Persiflo the Vorticist, who had published treatises on many subjects, which he did not understand, rose up and said: "The fact, gentlemen, might well agree with the system of the world. I should suspect that it has in general the same cause with the tides. For pray take notice, that this day is the equinoctial full moon. But before I can depend on my conjecture, I must wait to hear what the Toys will say next month."
The company shrug'd their shoulders: they dared not remonstrate to him, that he reasoned like a Toy; but as he is a man of penetration he perceived in an instant that they thought as much.
The Attractionist Reciproco opened, and said: "Gentlemen, I have tables calculated by a theory on the highth of the tides in every port of the kingdom. True it is, that observations somewhat bely my calculations: but I flatter myself that this small inconvenience will be repaired by the advantage that will result from them, if the tattle of Toys continues to square with the phænomena of the ebb and flow."
A third person started up, went to the board, traced his figure, and said "let a Toy be A B, and——"
Here the ignorance of the translators has deprived us of a demonstration, which without doubt the African author had preserv'd. After a blank of about two pages, we read: Reciproco's reasoning was thought demonstrative; and it was unanimously agreed, from the essays he had given on dialectics, that he would be able one day or other to make this deduction: women have from time immemorial heard with their ears: therefore they ought at this day to speak by their Toys.
Doctor Orcotomus, of the tribe of Anatomists, spoke next, and said: "Gentlemen, I am of opinion, that it would be properer to drop a phænomenon, than to seek its cause in vapory hypotheses. For my part, I would not have open'd my mouth, if I had nought but trifling conjectures to offer: but I have examined, studied, meditated. I have seen Toys in the paroxysm, and I am got so far, by means of my knowledge of the parts, and experience, as to be convinced, that that which in Greek we call Delphys, has all the properties of the windpipe, and that there are some who can speak as well by the Toy as by the mouth. Yes, gentlemen, the Delphys is a string and wind instrument; but much more a string than a wind one. The outward air, which lights on it, properly does the office of a bow on the tendinous fibres of the wings, which I shall call ribbons or vocal strings. The gentle collision of this air and the vocal strings puts them into a trembling motion; and it is by their quicker or slower vibrations, that they utter different sounds. The person modifies these sounds at discretion, speaks, and even might sing.
"As there are but two ribbons or vocal strings, and as they are to the eye of equal length, it will doubtless be ask'd, how they suffice to give the multitude of sounds, grave and acute, strong and weak, of which the human voice is capable. I answer, in pursuing the comparison of this organ with musical instruments, that their lengthening and shortening are sufficient to produce these effects.
"That these parts are capable of distention and contraction, is needless to be demonstrated in an assembly of Literati of your rank: but that in consequence of this distention and contraction, the Delphys can utter sounds more or less acute; in a word, all the inflexions of the voice, and modulation of singing; is a fact, which I flatter myself I shall put out of doubt. My appeal is to experiments. Yes, gentlemen, I engage to make both a Delphys and a Toy reason, speak, nay, and sing too, before ye."
Thus
