you ask, providing you make the request in a firm, confident manner. He is afraid of hurting your feelings by a refusal, and will promise you anything to get rid of you, and to avoid giving you a positive refusal. You can sell him almost anything if his brother is not watching him, if you go about it right. All you have to do is to put on a bold, confident front, and take things for granted. You know the type.
The Active brother, however, is a very different sort of a fellow. He is a suspicious, watchful, wide-awake, "hard as nails" sort of individual. There is no nonsense about him. He finds it necessary to keep a close watch on his Passive brother in order that the interests of the firm do not suffer. The Passive brother is always getting "stuck" by somebody, or on something, and really needs some sort of a guardian, and if the Active fellow happens to take a nap or be too busy with his work to keep an eye on the Passive brother, something is sure to happen to the latter. The Active partner, accordingly, is not inclined to allow you to meet the Passive brother, until he knows you pretty well, or thinks that you have no designs on the easy fellow. He watches you carefully and inquires into your business, and tries to find what you are up to, before he will allow you to see the other partner. If he thinks that you have designs on the easy fellow, he will tell you that his easy brother is out, etc. Even if he allows you to see his brother, he will watch every motion and listen to every word, and in the case he thinks that you are trying to play some sort of a game on the easy man, he will put his foot down on the scheme and call the deal off. He considers every proposition, and accepts it, if reasonable, or rejects it if not. He grows less suspicious when he becomes accustomed to your presence, and may even grow to have considerable confidence in you. He also may be entertained and amused, at which times he relaxes his vigilance and grows less suspicious. If his suspicions are once allayed, you may be able to get in a word with the other brother, in which case you have made a great advance, for the easy brothers, once acquainted with you, will himself contrive to make the next meeting easier. He feels lonesome and chafes under the restraint imposed upon him by his brother, and when he once makes your acquaintance he will be on the lookout for another chance to have a chat with you. The first step is the hardest.
Please remember that the mind of every man or woman is a partnership, composed of functions represented by the two characters with which I have just endeavored to acquaint you. There is a difference however in firms. The Passive partner is pretty much the same in all cases, although in some he manages to have his own way more, and in others he is kept still further in the background, the difference being caused by the degree of positive-ness in the Active partner. There is a great difference in these Active partners. Some of them are splendid examples of prudence, watchfulness and sagacity, whilst others possess these qualities in a lesser degree, and some are nearly as "easy" as their Passive brothers. Some of them can be "bulldozed," others coaxed, others flattered; and others tired out into relaxing their vigilance. Some of them get so interested in something that they do not notice that the visitor is getting well acquainted with the Passive brother, and may even allow him to give an order for goods. Each one has his own peculiarities, his weaknesses. As a man is no stronger that his weakest point, to obvious rule is to find that weakest point and direct the attack right there. You will readily see that the main thing to be accomplished is to elude the vigilance of the Active partner. There are many ways of doing this - the thing to do is to find out the best way. If one way does not work, try another. If you keep at it you will win eventually. "Faint heart never won fair lady." It can be done if it is gone about properly. It is done every day. It is easy with some, and hard with others, but it can be done with all of these watchful partners if you will only keep pecking away at it.
Never take "No" for an answer. Pursue the same plan in business that you would if you were courting the girl you loved. In the latter case, a "No" or two, or a dozen for that matter, would not count. Pursue the same tactics in your business, and you will win the day. Fortune is feminine, you know, and possesses all of the characteristics of the sex.
Suggestions gain force by repletion. A man may reject a proposition when first made, but upon hearing the same thing over and over again, he will come to believe it. No wonder, you believe it yourself from the mere repletion of it, and why shouldn't he. Moreover, a suggestion may produce no apparent effect at the time it is given, but may be like the seed planted in fertile soil, which will have sprouted by the time you come again. By talking properly to the Active partner and getting him interested you have enabled the passive brother, actuated by curiosity (of which he has a full share) to draw near and overhear your conversation. He will often think over the overheard words after you have gone, and the next time you come he will manage to get an interview with you, in spite of his stern brother. "Love laughs at locksmiths," and so does the Passive fellow at his brother - sometimes. You should carry the above mental picture of the two functions of the mind - the Active partner and his Passive brother. With this picture in your mind, you will be able to direct your suggestions to the best advantage, and also to guard yourself against the suggestions of others.
In influencing a man with whom you come in personal contact, you will not have to depend entirely upon the power of suggestion in overcoming the watchfulness of the Active partner of his mind. You will be aided by two powerful allies, i.e., direct thought waves consciously projected by your mind, and by the involuntary adductive qualities of thought. These powers can be highly developed by the exercises, which will be given you during this course of lessons. You will also learn how to acquire characteristics calculated to aid you in making a good impression upon the Active brother, who is apt to be impressed by external appearances.
There is one thing, which you must learn, however, and that is Confidence and a belief in you ability to master this subject. It is like a boy learning to swim. The swimming power is inherent in every boy, but he doesn't believe it. As soon as he believes that he can swim - he swims; but so long as he believes that he "can't"- he cannot. He may improve in the art of swimming by practice, but he had the swimming power in him from the beginning, and all he needed was belief. You can do it, and have but to strike out. You can begin on easy exercises at first, but you must have Confidences from the start. Some men discover this by accident, and do not know the reason for their success. You know the reason, now, and can do as well and better than the man who has stumbled upon the truth.
A Little Worldly Wisdom
How to influence the Active partner – Conversation - The art of listening - Carlyle and his visitor - A delightful conversation - Keep yourself positive – Appearance – Apparel -Clean linen – Perfumes – Cleanliness – Manner – Reserve – Temper – Fearlessness - Self-Respect - Consideration for others – Frankness – Earnestness - Firm handshake - The eye - Tone of voice - A useful rule - How to remedy deficiencies in manner.
In the preceding lesson I compared the two functions of the mind of each individual, to the two brothers - partners in a business enterprise. For the convenience of explanation, I will continue this illustration, which is quite applicable to the real state of affairs.
This Active partner is a "particular" old fellow, and needs considerable humoring, and careful handling. He is influenced, to some extent, by the conversation, appearance, manner, voice, eye, etc., and each Active partner has his own tastes and peculiarities, although there are some things, which they all have in common. As to conversation, we should if possible ascertain what interests, but do not make the mistake of talking too much. "Give the old man a chance." You should talk until you get him well started on a favorite topic, and then you keep quiet. You should cultivate the art of listening, for it is one of the most valuable accomplishments in the world. Many a man (or woman) has risen to a high position simply by being a good listener. You may remember the old tale told of Thomas Carlyle. A visitor once called on him, and being a good listener and a student of human nature as well, managed to get him started talking on a favorite subject. Carlyle talked for over three hours without giving the visitor "a chance to get a word in edgewise." When the caller at last rose to depart,
