my chest, “We had to sleep on the floor in the hallway with magnets.”
I said, “What do you mean magnets?”
She pulled back to look at me. “Little white things and they move.”
“Baby, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Little white dots, Grammy. They were on the dirty clothes in the hallway. Mom made us sleep in the hallway and cover with the dirty clothes. The baby kittens died, and we smelled them. We covered the kittens up, but they got white dots. I think Mom said they were magnets.”
We sit for a time, just holding each other, me letting the realization of what she had just said sink in and listened to the cars go by.
“Grammy, we were so hungry all the time. Mom gave our food away, so we had to go to bed with nothing. Her friends would come over and eat pizza, but we couldn’t have any. Sometimes she took us to McDonald’s and lifted us into the dumpster out back and told us to look around for food. Grammy, we were so scared. We were afraid we couldn’t climb back out. We walked to churches, and Mom made us go inside and beg for food and clothes. Grammy, I hated that. I was embarrassed. But Mom would hit me if I came out with nothing.”
Laurene went on to tell me of the times her mom’s boyfriends would come over and eat all their food and got mean to her and her brother and sister. She said her mother sold their curtains to the neighbors and men would look in their windows at night, and they were scared. Those men would try to get in at night when her mom wasn’t home. She told me of times when those men would hold JR’s head under water until he stopped moving, then let him up. Or they would lock the kids in a closet for God knows how long. She told me that her mom’s boyfriend would pour beer over her mom’s bare chest then licked it off in front of her kids. This all happened while they were in Oklahoma.
I don’t know what to say to this little one except, “It’s over, honey. You don’t ever have to live like that again, and I’m so sorry you kids had to go through any of that. Grammy will always protect you.”
“What about when Mom comes to get us?”
“She won’t. I won’t let her. You can believe that.” I tipped her chin up toward me and said, “Never, never talk about dying again. Promise me. You will never know how much that hurts Grammy. Promise me.”
I vowed with all my heart and soul to do all I could to erase the pain this baby of mine felt. God only knew what would have happened to the kids if they had stayed another minute in her care.
I asked her if she liked the bedroom set I bought for her and Jackie.
She said, “I don’t have a bedroom set. Me and Jackie sleep on the couch. Opal sells the stuff you bring. She has a yard sale.”
I asked about all the food I bring.
“She sells it to her neighbors. Grammy, I don’t want to live with my dad any more. Opal hates us. She said she wishes she never gave my dad the okay. Grammy, what does that mean?”
Little Chicks
When it came time for Christmas gifts, I asked Floyd what he thought. He said no matter what, I had to buy each one the same thing. Opal said so. I decided to buy each one a bike. Before I could buy them, Laurene asked me for a desk. I whispered for her not to tell that I was going to buy everyone a bike. She said she didn’t want a bike because she kept getting hurt. So I bought four bikes and a desk. Laurene never got to enjoy her desk. Floyd wouldn’t take it out of the box and perform the couple of assembly tasks because Opal’s daughter was jealous that Laurene got a special gift, and she didn’t. So the box sat there, month after month.
It wasn’t long before Floyd called me to ask if Laurene could live with me.
He said, “She stays in the backyard and cries all the time. She can’t sleep at night. She’s afraid of everything. She says she sees a man standing by her bed in the middle of the night, and she wakes us up with her screaming. She’s not happy at school, and we don’t know what to do.”
I asked if he tried hugging her and talking to her.
He said, “I don’t know how to deal with it, so Opal and I talked, and we want you to take her. Laurene and Opal’s daughter are too close to the same age, and they don’t get along.”
I said, “Of course I would take her. I will always take her. How soon can I come get her?” Laurene was coming home, but it had to be her dad’s decision.
Her homecoming was a joyous, long-awaited occasion. She was finally where she belonged. She was with the one person who loved her with a true love that would never let her down. My chick came home.
Then came the time late one night when Floyd showed up at my door holding Jackie’s hand. They came in, and I put Jackie on my lap. She was trembling uncontrollably. I sat at my desk, and Floyd remained standing close to the door. I noticed he had a sack with him.
“Will you take her? Opal can’t take care of her. She’s too close to the same age as my son Hector, and it’s too hard for Opal to handle. Jackie is too clingy, and she sticks to me too much. The kid scream and cry in the middle of the night. She cries when I leave for work, and Opal can’t take it anymore.” He held his head down, not giving me eye contact. He was slowly backing away as he spoke, and Jackie saw this. I could see his mind was made up.
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