starched robe! As if you possess secret knowledge that is beyond the reach of mere mortals…
Indeed, it is!!!))
Some of them have awe and fear in their eyes, someone can barely cope with their excitement and constantly blush, others look at you with poorly disguised distrust.
I like to read these emotions in the eyes of my patients and find a key for each of them in order to let love into my heart…
At least to myself.
After all, all illnesses are caused by dislike, dislike of ourselves in particular… You can starve and be an absolute ascetic and at the same time have enviable health, or, conversely, suffer from chronic diseases with an abundance of funds and a set life, and think that this is okay…
But comprehensive love is also akin to disease…
Surpri singly.
What a paradox!
Taska has one interesting poem, a kind of test.
Few pass this test. The whole damn catch (!) is that 99.9 percent of those reading this poem take it literally!
But those who understand what kind of feelings the author is trying to tell find the quintessence of love…
Afraid to land when I take off…
Or feel no hands when I'm awake;
Afraid to ever be afraid
Thinking about you all the way…
Afraid to choose and to decide
And disagree against all odds
Afraid to lose the winter time
Afraid of river streams so broad…
Afraid to fear when I'm afraid
Afraid of friends that go back on…
Afraid to frighten, all in vain,
The brightest thoughts that rush upon…
Afraid of good luck to depend
To know the answer right away…
And that the cold gazpacho soup
Is not something you want today…
Afraid to go when looking back,
And see that you're not there even!
To say that everything's on track
But this is not what I believe in!
Afraid to trust to chance or passions
Or be dependent on desire;
Afraid to torture you with questions:
«To whom, by whom, what for and why?»
Afraid to even seem indifferent
Or when the others seem detached…
And shyly wait at the reception,
Although no chances seem to match…
Afraid of an invented fear
Though one day it will fade away…
Afraid that my last shirt I give you
Would never fit you anyway…
Afraid to lose and not recall
The memory of your sweetest arms
And that I give this huge whole world
To the possession of your charms!
Afraid that I might leave unnamed
Or be unable to find out
The names of all the feelings tamed
To know what they are all about…
I'm not afraid of reassurance
But I'm afraid I cannot take
The things I leave without regretting
And leave it for my enemy's sake…
Afraid to miss the very meaning,
Afraid of taking the wrong turn;
That there will be no more pages
Behind the page that has been torn…
Afraid to suffer and dissemble
Afraid to be afraid of heights;
Afraid to part with dreams and tremble
That I will never see them bright…
Afraid to insult by not listening,
Afraid to be afraid to die…
Of the desire close to hatred!
Of seeing when I close my eyes…
Afraid to leave without returning
Afraid to stumble and to blame…
Afraid to fall asleep forever…
Afraid to be completely tame!..
I finally agreed with the publisher!!!
I think that the collection will be ready for our 33rd anniversary!
Taska will be surprised!)))
Chapter 5
Numerology… Or Number Twenty Three
April 23, 2018.
Monday.
At first I had a dream…
In this dream, the smell of coffee drove me mad!
The smell of coffee and flowers…
I opened my eyes. My God!
On the floor, in a vase, I saw the most delicate cream roses.
Nearby there was a huge polar bear and Igor, pleased:
«Coffee is in the kitchen, my girl. Happy Birthday, goldfish!!!» He kissed me on the forehead as if I was a little girl and stroked my right cheek. It was so nice. I even closed my eyes and answered:
«You're adorable! Really…»
I involuntarily reached out, and he grabbed me, picked me up and carried to the kitchen in his arms…
Stepan and Daniel with their painted cards were waiting for me there! They wrapped their arms around my legs and pressed themselves against me.
Lord, how touching it is!
Today I took a day off.
We decided to postpone the birthday, or rather its celebration, for Saturday.
After all, it's such a date!
33…)))
Hooray!
Or not hooray!..
We will definitely not arrange it at home. Igor and I will go to a restaurant. No! We'll take the boys with us.
We'll dress up like it's a red carpet!
I want this day to be remembered…
Today, at about eleven, my father called.
He was worried as he spoke. He said he was very sorry that he could not be near. It seemed to me that he was already ready to burst into tears when Taska grabbed
