and Freya both shook their heads. ‘No idea. Control, maybe?’ Freya said at last. ‘She does seem very possessive and domineering.’
Charlotte nodded, feeling guilty. This was all her fault. If she hadn’t broken up with Ben, he would never have met Bella and maybe it would be the two of them celebrating the birth of their first child. There was no way she’d have allowed Ben to shut out his oldest friends. They would have been with them every step of the way. ‘What would happen if you ignored the way she’s been behaving and just acted the way you always did? Why don’t you just go round with some flowers and a present for the baby? You used to pop by all the time, so it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary.’
Matt recoiled in horror. ‘It would now! Honestly, Charlie, you have no idea how different things are to when you two were together. She’s so cold towards us. She would make it clear we weren’t welcome.’
‘So what?’ Charlotte looked from Matt to Freya defiantly. ‘You aren’t there to see her, you’re there to see your friend and his new baby daughter. If she doesn’t want to see you, she can always go out.’ She could feel the anger bubbling up inside her and knew it was borne out of guilt. But on the other hand, they couldn’t just accept that a lifelong friendship was over because Bella wanted him all to herself. ‘And I’m sure she’s not that bad?’
‘She is!’ Freya shot back. ‘Matt’s not exaggerating when he says she’s really off with us. She just has this way of making you feel so unwelcome, even when we’re not at their flat.’
Charlotte tried not to feel hurt at the description of the flat as ‘theirs’. Yes, Ben’s parents had bought it for him but it was she who had helped him choose it and furnish it, back in the days when she and Ben were so happy and excited about the future. But it was also she who had walked away from it, leaving Ben battered and broken, and vulnerable to the attentions of someone like Bella. ‘Well,’ she said at last. ‘I think you should just turn up and act like nothing’s wrong. Buy something lovely for the baby and behave as you normally would. You owe it to Ben …’
Matt stood up suddenly. ‘Just going to the loo,’ he said, by way of explanation as he strode off.
Charlotte and Freya watched him go. ‘He’s taken it quite badly,’ Freya began. ‘I think he’s just so unbelievably hurt. He and Ben have been inseparable since primary school. It just seems so unfair that this … this bitch, can have got her claws into him so quickly and so bloody effectively.’
Charlotte shifted in her seat uncomfortably. ‘It does,’ she agreed. ‘What if you were to speak to him? Alone.’
‘How?’ Freya looked gloomy. ‘She never leaves him on his own for a minute.’
‘She’s not with him at work. You could go and wait for him outside his office.’
Freya smiled slightly, as she digested the idea. ‘What? Ambush him, you mean?’
Charlotte picked up her glass and took a large slug of her wine. ‘Well, yes, I suppose that is what I mean. But at least Bella wouldn’t be there and you could ask him outright why he’s shutting you and Matt out all of a sudden.’
Freya squirmed in her seat and worry lines creased her brow. ‘I don’t know … what if he gets cross with me?’
‘Why would he? You haven’t done anything wrong. And you know Ben – he absolutely adores you.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘Yes, absolutely!’ Charlotte could feel herself warming to her theme. ‘And you never know, he might have a perfectly rational explanation that will put your mind at rest and then you can reassure Matt that it’s just a temporary blip and things will be back to normal soon.’
Freya reached across the table and took Charlotte’s hand in hers. ‘Oh God, I miss you so much, Charlie. We both do.’
‘I miss you guys, too.’ Charlotte swallowed hard, afraid she might cry.
‘Is there anyone on the scene at all?’ Freya dropped her hand and changed the subject, as if sensing that Charlotte might be wobbling.
Charlotte wrinkled her nose and shook her head. ‘No, not really. I don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind to have a relationship at the moment, anyway, so it’s probably no bad thing.’
‘No, maybe not.’ Freya looked suddenly wistful and smiled. ‘Although it would be great if you could find someone nice and we could have a whole new foursome.’
Charlotte tried to smile, but found that the corners of her mouth refused to turn upwards. ‘The trouble is that I found someone nice and dumped him, like the complete bloody idiot I am. Now all I can think is that there’ll never be anyone as good as him again.’
Freya shook her head. ‘I’m not going to say that I always thought there was something lacking in your relationship with Ben because I didn’t. But for you to have broken up with him when you did, when he was on the verge of proposing …’
Charlotte spluttered on her wine and her eyes widened. ‘What?’
Freya’s cheeks flushed slightly and she nodded. ‘Yes … I thought you knew? He didn’t exactly make a secret of it.’
Charlotte looked away, thinking. Yes, she probably did know, and maybe that’s what had made her get cold feet so suddenly. It was the enormity of it all.
‘So, what I’m saying,’ Freya continued, ‘is that you obviously did think there was something not quite right. Don’t be too hard on yourself, Charlie, because maybe, just maybe, you did the right thing for you.’
Charlotte so wanted to believe her. To think that she had been unhappy and that the relationship had run its course. But she knew deep down that it hadn’t and that she had just had a panic about the future and wanted to clear her head. Now it was too late and whatever she did, she couldn’t turn back time and make everything right again.
Freya pulled her fitted leather jacket a little tighter around her body. It was a surprisingly chilly day for early March and she stamped her feet to try to warm up her feet inside her ankle boots, as she scanned the lunchtime crowds for Ben’s familiar dark head. As he was usually a few inches taller than everyone else around him, she had thought that he’d be easier to spot, but she hadn’t caught sight of him yet and was beginning to worry that maybe she’d missed him.
She was just contemplating giving up, when he appeared, head down and his hands stuffed deep in to the pockets of his coat, which looked considerably warmer than hers.
‘Ben!’ Freya stepped into his path and gave a nervous wave.
Ben’s eyes widened in surprise and he pulled up sharply. ‘Hey, Freya! What a lovely surprise!’ He held his arms out widely and pulled her into a hug.
Freya allowed herself to be drawn into his embrace and held on to him for what she knew was a fraction too long. She could feel the tears pricking her eyes as she felt a wave of longing. The aching familiarity of him was so strong that, for the first time, she realized how painfully she had borne his absence and truly understood how Matt must have been feeling.
‘What
