Somebody Should Have Told Us!: Simple Truths for Living Well. Jack Pransky

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one. I have seen dramatic changes in people’s lives result from helping people see life from the inside-out. My intent is simply to be of service to as many people as I can. A book potentially can reach a far greater number than those with whom I can work personally or in training groups.

      I truly believe for people to realize how they can use the spiritual, creative gifts they have been given to their benefit instead of to their detriment is the hope for humankind. When wisdom speaks, humanity benefits.

      I am merely a ripple in a pond.

       A few notes about this book, and how to get the most from it:

      

Unlike listening to Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura or Dr. Joy Brown, this book contains no advice. It offers no skills, nor any techniques. Initially to some this may be disconcerting, but advice, skills and techniques all reside in the outside world. This book contains something far more valuable. True change happens only from within, from one’s own insight. It is far more comforting to realize there really is nothing to do because we already have everything we are looking for inside us, and it is always available to us no matter what difficult life situations we encounter—if we know how to access it. I don’t want anyone looking to me, when the answers are within them. This book points people in the direction of true self help.

      

The only advice I do offer is how to get the most from this book: It would be wise to approach it with an open mind, to clear the mind, to set aside everything you know (at least temporarily), including comparing this to other things. Comparisons and judgments only block new understanding, and new understanding is the whole idea. If you want to truly incorporate into your life what this book offers I suggest reading it again and again until it sounds like old news. Then you will know this understanding has become part of you, the eyes through which you see. You will know you understand when you see the results for yourself.

      

This book is written the way it is for a reason. It contains a lot of stories and narrative. First, this is because no words can accurately or adequately describe the spiritual—the way it all truly works within us—and stories help point to what I mean. Second, it is often helpful to see through the eyes of what others have gone through.* Third, when we become involved in a story we temporarily forget about ourselves and, paradoxically, have a greater chance of having new insights about ourselves. I know that sounds odd, but it’s true. Also, this book contains some repetition. I attempt to say the same things in different ways because it helps the new take hold. Each chapter is meant to build on those before it.

      

In this book I use some terms for which others have their own definitions, such as Mind, Consciousness, Thought, wisdom, Health, principle. It would be wise to temporarily set aside your own definitions. I explain what I mean when I use these terms. In many places throughout this book I capitalize some of these words when I am meaning the universal, instead of the personal.

      

The stories in this book are not meant to be an illustration of how to do counseling based on this inside-out approach; they only represent how I worked with these people at that time, for better or worse. Today I may do it differently. But the results speak for themselves.

      The state of mind everyone wants for themselves is there for the taking. My hope is this book will help you find the peace you deserve, the peace many are now finding for themselves.

      So sit back and relax, absorb and enjoy. It won’t do any good to analyze it or try to figure it out. Wisdom comes from the opposite: the uncluttered grace of a relaxed mind.

      Jack Pransky

      Cabot, VT

      January, 2005

      * Note: I have changed the names of some people in these stories, at their request.

Introduction

      I felt an explosion of energy inside me. It was impossible that positive self-esteem has always been there and was just covered by negative thoughts!...I could not believe that for the past ten years I have been reading books on self-help, taking seminars, spending lots of money and time and never found an effective way to address the self-esteem problem. I could not believe that it could be so “easy.” Feelings of astonishment, incredibility, shame, anger, guilt, relief ran through my whole body... I felt so relieved and full of hope that I could breathe again, but at the same time I was mad. Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?

      -- Maribel

      Somebody should have told us! How come nobody told us?

      How come nobody told us how we truly function as human beings, psychologically and spiritually? How come nobody told us how our experience of life is created—how we create for ourselves joyful or miserable lives, peaceful or stressful lives, beautiful or depressed or angry lives?

      Why? They didn’t know!

      Our parents didn’t know. Their parents didn’t know. Our teachers didn’t know. Our mentors and role models didn’t know. It’s nobody’s fault. If they knew they would have told us.

      Most everyone would like to live with more peace of mind, less stress and better relationships. The problem is we’ve been pointed in the wrong direction.

      Most self-help books, personal growth seminars and even most counseling and psychotherapy have not told us that peace of mind, little or no stress and naturally fulfilling relationships are already within us—our natural state—and how we’re only getting in our own way. The most helpful direction for us is not what we can do but what we need to see that allows what is naturally within to flow through us unencumbered

      Currently, few people have this perspective. Those who do live happy, healthy, fulfilling, productive lives. However, anyone can gain this simple, yet powerful understanding—because it’s part of us already! We just don’t realize it—yet.

      When we see how something really works and see its usefulness we can use that thing to our advantage. If we don’t, we’re either at its mercy or we’re baffled by it or it’s luck if it works out. A remote control that runs the TV, DVD, DVR, Tivo, X-Box and sound system can be very useful, but if we don’t understand how it functions it is not much use to us and only confuses or frustrates us. The same is true for our own well-being. When we see what makes our well-being come alive within us, when we see what makes us function as we do and how to use it to our benefit, we gain a handle on life. Instead of being at the mercy of our circumstances, instead of being baffled or frustrated by what life throws at us, we discover how we are in charge.

      When I look back upon my life, had I known then what I know now I could have spared myself and others so many difficulties. But it’s silly to beat ourselves up for what we didn’t see. I was innocent. The only way I could have done it differently is if I saw it differently then. The same is true for all of us. The point isn’t to look back; it’s to live now, armed with the new.

      I am not saying difficulties won’t happen to us. That is never the case. It’s been said many times that “life is a contact

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