Libby said enthusiastically. She carefully lifted a bottle of Early Times out of the rack, the amber liquor splashed into Jon’s glass.
“I’m doing okay,” Jon replied.
“Well I guess all my worrying was for nothing.” Libby’s pulse rate jumped as Jon’s big hand slipped around her delicate wrist.
“I’m right sorry ‘bout that Darlin’. But I can take care of myself alright; try not to worry too much.” Jon smiled and winked at the happy saloon owner. He lifted the shot glass to eye level. “Here’s to the loveliest lady this side of the Gila River.” He downed the shot of Early Times and smiled at Libby. He paused for a moment as his eyes went to the center of the empty glass as if in deep thought.
“Forgive me for worrying so much!” Libby said, interrupting his thought.
“You’re forgiven, Sweetheart,” Jon said quickly.
“Dinner?” Libby asked.
“Thought you’d never ask!”
“I had Sam set us up in the back room; it will be quieter there,” Libby said, as her face broke into a warm smile.
“Sounds good!”
Libby slid effortlessly around the end of the bar; she grabbed Jon’s hand and led him back to the separate room. The candelabra’s flames reflected off the shiny silverware as they entered their private retreat. Always the gentleman, Jon slid Libby’s chair out and waited for her to be seated. He tossed his brown felt hat on the table and sat down next to her.
Sam arrived with two glasses and a bottle of imported wine; he carefully poured the expensive wine into the delicate glasses.
“Ready to order or do you need some time?” Sam asked.
“Well if Libby doesn’t mind, I’m pretty much starvin’,” Jon replied.
“That’s fine, I’m a little hungry myself,” she replied.
Sam reached inside his apron and pulled out the green order pad.
“What’ll it be?” he asked.
“Venison parmesan over pasta for me, Sam,” Libby said softly.
“How bout a big t-bone steak with fried potatoes,” Jon said.
“Scalloped corn’s good tonight, Jon, and you need some veggies.” Sam grinned as he lectured his good friend.
“Okay Sam.” Jon laughed.
Sam hurried off to the kitchen.
Libby lifted the glass up to her lips and took a sip. “Somebody said there was gun play out there today. Is that right, Jon?’
Jon looked down at the table, he seemed distressed. “Yea, the young fella, the one who shot Jack, was kind of trigger happy,” Jon said.
“And.....” Libby said.
“And...I ah had to kill him.” Jon was upset; it was the same old feeling, but now for the first time in his life he wanted to talk about it.
“What is it, Jon? What happened?” Libby said, very concerned.
“I.....uh.....I gave him every chance to back off, but he still went for his gun! I had no choice!” Jon’s voice trailed off as he talked of killing the young man.
Libby looked intimately toward the powerful gunman. Her hand gently stroked his thick forearm. “Are you okay?” she asked.
Jon’s eyes began to well up, they glistened as he spoke. “Yea, I guess I’m just.....” his voice trailed off once again.
“You’re just what, Jon?” Libby asked. She had never seen her big, fearless lover so vulnerable before.
Jon looked over at Libby. His face filled with pain. “I’m just tired.”
“Tired of what, Jon? What are you talking about?” Libby’s eyes darted up and down Jon’s face, looking for any sign of the answer. He seemed genuinely upset; it wasn’t like him.
“Tired of all the killing, tired of living with this rage inside of me!”
“But Jon, you never killed anybody that didn’t deserve it. I don’t understand!” Libby sat up, upset and confused by the revelations coming from this tough, decent man.
“Yea, but it’s still killing! It gets to you after awhile. That fella today was just a boy, barely eighteen years old Libby! His face keeps running through my mind. His eyes were pleading with me not to shoot, but I blasted ’em anyway. I felt no remorse, only anger and rage at what he had done to Malone. I wanted him dead; all I could think about was killing him. There’s something inside of me Libby; it’s like there’s a devil or something deep down in my heart!” His rugged face was full of remorse.
Libby jumped up and rushed over and laid her soft body against his muscular back, her cheek pushed against his shoulder. Upset herself, she wanted very much to comfort her shaken man.
“I love you Jon, you’re a good man!”
Jon, sensing the distress he was causing Libby, stood and put his arm around her waist and pulled her warm body next to his. He held her tightly, gently caressing her.
“I’m sorry I upset you Libby,” he said tenderly. He pulled her closer and tighter. Spurred on by the passion of the moment, they continued to embrace. “I love ya baby, you know that,” Jon whispered softly in her ear as he gently stroked her lovely auburn hair.
Libby slowly pulled back and looked up at Jon. She slipped her hands gently around his face; she held him tightly. “Now, you listen to me Jon Stoudenmire! I understand about the killing, it must be an awful feeling to have to kill someone! But you were given this anger for a reason. Your anger has helped so many people in so many ways. I know how upset you can get Jon, I’ve seen it. But you use your fierceness in the right way - to help others. No decent person need ever fear you.”
“Thank you, Libby,” Jon said softly. “It’s just....”
Libby interrupted, still anxious to sooth his pain. “I’m sorry dear, but you’ve beat yourself up enough for one evening. Sam just signaled me that dinner is ready. What do you say?”
“Okay baby.” Jon yanked the red handkerchief from around his neck and gently dried the tears on Libby’s face.
“I love you,” Libby said softly.
“I love you too darlin’!”
Chapter 3
“And may the Lord bless his tortured soul. Amen!” A warm breeze blew across the barren hilltop as Jon, Ed, and Pastor Toms performed a brief burial ceremony for the young gun killed by Jon the day before. Ed kneeled down and pounded a cross in the dirt above the grave. The name Dusty Fry was crudely painted on the small wooden edifice.
“Thank you Pastor Toms,” Jon said. “I appreciate
