it is. But it never happened to me before.”
“Perhaps it’s due to making love for the first time.”
“I don’t know, but if nothing happens in a few more days, I guess I am pregnant.”
He tightened his arm around her. “We’ll get married,” he said, his voice calm and determined.
“We can’t do that, Stephen. Not now, at any rate.”
“It’s not a matter of what we can’t do,” he replied at once. “It’s a matter of what we must do. I want to be your husband for the rest of my life. I love you, Hanna, with all my heart. Being pregnant is only making us do what we should do anyway.” He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
Her shoulders drooped under his arm, and she let out a sigh of dejection. “I don’t know what to say. There are so many problems at home that I can’t think of being pregnant and getting married.”
“How can you not think about it?”
She suddenly began to cry. He held her in his arms to comfort her, rocking her gently, knowing that now was the time to let her shed her pain and fears and sorrows on his shoulder. For a moment, upon learning the news, his heart had leaped into his throat, and his brain had almost stopped functioning with the shock of having to face the first truly important decision of his life. His initial reaction was that he must protect her at all costs, and the only shelter he could offer was marriage. Now, as he held her, he began to think of more practical requirements, the most important being to earn a living, since marriage with her would create many bitter problems as well as the joy of having her for his own.
He decided to put all of that out of his thoughts for the present. The immediate issue was to determine whether Hanna was really pregnant, and if so, to find some way they could marry without everyone in the world knowing of it.
“Hanna,” he said, softly. “You must not become ill with concern. You have enough to worry about with your mother. Just remember that we can handle anything.” He lifted her chin gently so her eyes met his. “Do you believe that, my dear?”
“I will try to, Stephen.” She leaned forward and kissed his lips. “Sometimes I think the only thing that gives me courage is loving you. But the thought of Mama’s dying feels like a knife turning inside me.” She got to her feet. “I will have to go home now.”
He stood at once. “I’ll walk back with you.” He stayed her for a moment. “Will you promise me something?”
“I will promise you anything,” she said simply.
“I want you to know that I’ll take care of everything. So don’t worry. Will you believe that?”
She nodded her head, a smile of devotion crossing her lips. “I know you will, my dear.”
He walked her directly to the door and waited until she went inside.
Motlie went into a coma two days later. Even while passing in and out of unconsciousness, the pain stayed with her until it so exhausted her body that it snapped her will, the driving force that had withstood so many adversities of her life. Jakob was by her side frequently, praying for her life, wanting so badly to lift her head to sip water when she begged thirst, or to hold her hand when her fingers groped at the bed for relief from the excruciating torment. But in his belief, he could touch only mother, sister, wife, and, if the Lord so decided, his daughter.
At dusk on the second day, as Hanna lit the lantern in the kitchen, Jakob walked to the open door of the house, his tallis, his long praying shawl, around his shoulders. He rocked back and forth in prayer. Then he said in a loud voice, “Lord, all here suffer. We are too unworthy to know the cause, but in Thy exalted name, help us comprehend that we suffer for Your sake. Rebecca Glassman lies here, Lord, ill to the point of death. Help us, Lord. Tell your Angel of Death that Rebecca Glassman, who lies here in agony, is praying for your intervention.”
He stepped backwards towards the door leading to Motlie’s room, always bowing to the entrance of the house. “Angel of Death,” he cried. “Please help Rebecca Glassman, who lies stricken in this room behind me. The mercy of God over her, Angel of Death.”
Reba sat wide-eyed at the table with the others. She nudged Hanna. “Why is he mixing up Mama with that Rebecca Glassman?” she whispered.
Hershel leaned forward towards her. “He is trying to deceive the Angel so it may pass by.”
Suddenly, Jakob stiffened, and his body stood up straight as a ramrod. In a flash, he spun round and ran into Motlie’s room. He bent over her.
“Shma Yisrael,” he said softly. “Motlie Barlak, say Shma Yisrael.”
From her pain racked lips came the words, her eyes rolling in their sockets as she recited the Shema Yisrael, the confession of faith of the Jews, the last words they should hear.
“Adonai Elohanu,” he went on. She did not respond, so he bent closer and raised his voice. “Adonai Elohanu,” he repeated urgently. Motlie did not respond, just lay there sucking in air hoarsely.
Israel came to the open door and looked at his wife. He turned to the door jamb, tears rushing from his eyes and began bowing and striking his chest with a clenched fist. “Shma Yisrael,” he said in a quavering voice.
“Adonai Elohanu,” said Jakob more loudly. “Say it, Motlie Barlak!”
Her lips moved.
“Adonai Ehud,” whispered Jakob. Motlie’s face began to fall slack. “Motlie Barlak,” he said gently. “Please say it. Adonai Ehud.”
As the rattle began in her throat, her lips formed the phrase.
Then she died.
Jakob rose from his bent position and turned towards the door. All were standing there. “Hear, O Israel,” he said softly, almost in a whisper. “The Lord Our God. The Lord is One.”
And just as softly, amid the tears streaming down their faces, the family repeated his words.
Jakob stepped forward and embraced Israel. “Blessed is the name of the Lord,” he said. “Forever and forever.”
Death rides on wings, and within half an hour, alerted by signs or sounds, or the lack of them, two of the four women of the village Chevra Kadisah, the burial society, were at the door to perform the tohorah, the preparation of the body for burial. One was the tiny Mrs. Feldman. With whispered condolences, they went straight to the bedroom, laid fresh straw on the floor, and placed Motlie’s body on it. One of them covered her with a blanket while the other began to heat a pot of water. Hanna stepped forward and told Mrs. Feldman where her mother stored the linen shroud she had made at the onset of her illness.
In short time, the other two women came, one carrying a long, smooth board. In the bedroom, they placed the board atop two chairs, laid Motlie upon it, and washed her body. They slipped on the shroud’s pants, sewn at the ends so her feet would not show, then the upper portion, also sewn at the ends to conceal her hands. On her head they placed a white bonnet to hide her hair. When all was done, they put the blanket on top of the straw, laid Motlie back upon it, and folded it around her. All was covered by a black blanket with a golden Star of David in the center. They lit candles at her head and feet. Two of the
