“Collin,” he began, “you have agreed to tell us the story of your friend who went to Terraprima to live. I personally am interested in hearing it because I believe we are isolating a peculiar fact of life as opposed to simply dealing with difficult people as a whole.”
“Yes, Doctor Eldren, that’s it and I am ready to tell the story if it is still the desire of the group.”
“I’m all ears!” exclaimed Leo Aidan in his sometimes boisterous manner, setting a relaxed atmosphere over the gathering.
“I really do want to hear it,” said Owen Winslow. “It will help me decide which direction to go in life.”
The other group members expressed a desire to hear the story.
Collin began his presentation, “before I get into the story itself, there are some preliminaries that I think will help prepare you for it. Recalling the stories of belittling in Secundaterra and Lower Secundaterra, we noted that belittling here is done mainly by individual envious people. Occasionally one or two or three may team up against you, or, a single belittler may gain the support of others, including some innocent people.
“In Terraprima, however, the belittling may become a conspiracy of sorts as I call it. That is groups of people that are close knit together, like in the church, may turn on a person like us.”
“In the church!” exclaimed Leo Aidan in amazement.
“Yes, in the church,” Collin repeated.
“Oh, oh,” was Owen’s brief response, as his thoughts of perhaps one day having a career in the church there took a downturn.
Collin continued, “you need to know that in some parts of Terraprima, including in some of its churches, belittlers treat people like us, either openly or subtly, as though we had no right to function fully, or in some cases even partially, in society. Why? Because in so doing we make them feel deflated, which is their problem, not ours. We unintentionally prick the balloon of their undisciplined pride. Their envy and hostility are aroused. They seek to drive us away or destroy us. It is so common in Terraprima that people in high places and low help one another do the dirty deed. It never having been brought out openly in public, makes it one of North America’s most guarded and frequently practiced fallacies.
“It is a highly developed and craftily specialized way of life among, I would guesstimate, about a third of the population. It was especially practiced in the denomination of the church in Terraprima to which my friend went; practiced among both clergy and laity in high places and low, and much of it in between. They are not only belittlers in the sense that we have already explored. They are cunning and crafty con-artists and ‘mind-game players’ as well.”
The support group members sat speechless and wide-eyed. Collin continued, “let me familiarize you with some of the tricks and mind-games they play; just enough now to give you some idea of what my friend and his wife were up against. As I go through the different phases of the story I will point out more of both the subtleties and also blatant openness belittlers use in putting down people like us; subtly when they are cautious of being smoked out into the open, blatantly open when they know they can get away with it.
“Belittlers actually do feel inferior to people like us and are very sensitive about it-over sensitive in fact. But they will never admit to that fact. They seek instead to make us feel inferior to them and over sensitive about it. So one of their chief mind-games is to go negative on everything you say or do and try to make you feel and look inferior to them. At the same time, in a phony and authoritative, yet seemingly friendly manner they will, by hint and innuendo, try to make you believe you should be heading in life and character, the way they are pointing out to you.
“It will be an inferior way to theirs. For example,” interjected Collin, “I once had the experience of a belittler trying to pressure me into buying the same make of car as he had just bought, only I was to have a cheaper model of that same make, with less options. I had to be copying after him, but kept below him.
“In the instance of a car such action even though absurd could be possible. But with a lot of things, such as the way you do your work, it is impossible to copy at a lower caliber than the overbearing belittler. It would warp ones personhood and wear one out trying to do so. Obviously the belittler’s insinuated demands cannot be met, so his envy is aroused all the more and hostility sets in.
“If you are not wise to them they will then lead you down the garden path to trouble and/or destruction. If when you do allow the belittlers to steer you wrong, their accomplices are ready to jump on you, criticize you and put you down for the wrong way you have headed.
“It becomes a conspiracy of sorts as I have previously called it, in which a whole cluster of belittlers are involved. They may even have one person, usually someone in an insignificant position, or a young person, man or woman, plant downward ideas in your head verbally and quite clearly. Then the others, again by hint and innuendo, try to steer or press you in that direction. If the verbal planting were to be brought out into the open by you, a reaction would come from them such as: ‘Oh well, that person doesn’t count for much, or, Oh well, he’s only young, don’t let it bother you; you’re just too sensitive.’ Or, in the case of a female accomplice, ‘Oh well, she’s only a young girl,’ or, ‘that’s a woman’s point of view.’ Strangely enough, even belittlers who believe in equality for women, still use this latter ploy in their trickery. By these ploys they seek to trivialize the whole matter and tell you that you are too sensitive about such things.
“If a fine, smart person makes any worthwhile accomplishment or does a job well, the belittlers will either pretend they didn’t notice, or trivialize it as though it is nothing, or find some way to disagree with it. Quite often, when they can, they will make the opportunity for you to do something they know you can do well disappear by taking it out of the program or cancelling an event. Usually, in conversation with a cluster of people you will be ignored by them, even walked away from.
“Confront a belittler with what he is trying to do to you, and he will very innocent-like tell you that such a motive never entered his mind. He will then imply that you, poor type of person that you are, need help, and he is only trying to help you. Confront a belittler with some particular incident in which he has wronged you and very often he will be able to come up with an alibi, an excuse, a different story, flimsy and shabby as it often is.
“Then, of course there are the belittlers who like to needle you and make you angry with one or more of several intentions; namely, to send you away in anger and feeling deflated to which they will say you can’t take it, you’re soft and over-sensitive; to make you quit on a job or project, to which they will say you don’t stay at anything very long; and their ultimate is they like to damage your fine character, destroy your self-confidence, and wear you down, so that you will be afraid to ever try again.
“When belittlers find out you have exceptional thinking ability they turn on you all the more. They try desperately to overtax your mind and wear you out. They themselves have the ability, sometimes exceptionally so, to attain and retain knowledge. But they may have little ability to think for themselves. It would be strenuously difficult for them to do so. Assuming we also are the same they try to give us plenty to think about. When, because of our exceptional ability to think, it doesn’t wear us out, they get all the more envious and hostile. I will illustrate this further along in the story.
Another game they play is: by implication and innuendo they try to impress upon you that they are of the opinion you don’t really have much ability at all, and that you think too much of yourself-that you are conceited. So they put on the facade that they are doing a wonderful thing, even a Christian service, by bringing
