I Know How A Butterfly Feels. Ann Palmer
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May 24th - Friday – It was one week after my botched birthday and one more beautiful drive - plus another stop for gas in Idaho Falls. From the moment I entered Montana, I could see why it is called “Big Sky” country – with the high altitude and driving between mountains, with the clouds ducking in and out that were hiding the mountain tops, one feels so high up and the sky does seem to be so big - it is truly beautiful and I might add -- cold! I arrived in Gold Creek around noon and waited about an hour just off the skinny barely two lane road for Martha to come and guide me back to her place. I am glad she did as I have a terrible fear of getting stuck where I cannot turn around. Remember, a motor home towing a car cannot be backed up without detaching the car. It was a beautiful day. A sweater or sweatshirt was comfortable. Well - problems had not ended -- trying to get my huge bus across the cattle guard through the narrow gate and then curve it around to go where she was directing me caused me to damage her gate, tear off the drain for my water tank. The water was gushing out of it until I lost all the water in my holding tank and again the hitch was stuck in the ground! Apparently we misunderstood each other. I thought she wanted me to curve around missing farm machinery, as well as her sewer drain field. If I had driven straight in, then maybe backed around after detaching the car, I would have made it without damaging her gate. It is my first real trial in driving the Big Bertha! I felt awful about damaging her gate, then on top of that digging a deep rut. I got two large boards and put them under the back wheels. Martha’s son, Dale, tried to guide me so that the motor home would move out of its stuck position. I rocked “her” back and forth in reverse and forward until she finally moved and I circled around to the area where Martha wanted me to park. It was definitely not a RV parking site as she had told me. It was just in the field. Martha couldn’t remember where the sewer hookup was so we awaited her other son, Tim’s arrival to show us where to hook into it. That took days but my black water tank was not full. We were also waiting for the long Memorial Day weekend to end so that we could go into Missoula. I had to get the proper electrical connector for the motor home and a longer water hose, etc. At long last I was in Montana, after about 15 years of her inviting me to visit. My leg was hurting and beginning to show red. I was concerned about infection.
May 25th, Saturday: Sandy, Martha’s daughter, her ex-husband, her four year old daughter, Tina, Martha and I went on a picnic planning on picking wild flowers to put near Martha’s husband’s ashes but there were few in bloom. Spring seems a bit late this year. Later that day, we had the privilege of watching Tina’s performance at her ballet recital. Tina is such a darling ham! While the older girls were doing their dance, consisting of lying on the floor, with legs moving to the music, Tina was behind the curtain mimicking their movements. She seemed to know the routines better than any of the girls who were performing on stage. She is also a real beauty, with a bit of devilish deeds at times. Later, observing her antics, I felt she needed some psychological help.
The first night I froze – I couldn’t connect my electric blanket because I was operating on the 12-volt system. Not knowing my new home yet, it was just a matter of setting the thermostat - dumb me! Some things have electric starters, except the hot water heater which is what the guy at the dealership told me. Much later I found out that it did work and was just a matter of turning it on at the heater. I was very confused about many other aspects of the motor home. As soon as I had the electricity connected to Martha’s house, my electric blanket was on each night. I was getting all settled in for the summer stay in Montana. Within a few days, I hoped to be all set up to begin the task of digging into writing and completing my unfinished books.
Sunday, May 26th, it sprinkled all morning. One disappointment was that my niece from Texas was here the week before I arrived. I was looking forward to seeing her but she left with no word of where she was going… Oh well, I was happy to be finished with the anxiety of selling my house, learning to drive a motor home, buying a car to tow, etc. – It was, at last, all finished - then I just need to get my leg well! The entire back of my leg is bruised, about 5” x 7” with a deep gash and blood blisters still weeping. Martha mixed up some clay that I put on my leg hoping it would help. It seems that no matter what I put on it, nothing helps. Along with the continuous weeping, it has been dreadfully painful.
Monday, May 27th, Memorial Day – The family remembered Tom, Martha’s husband, who died two years ago. In the evening, we each brought food and ate in the picnic area. There is a fire pit and a fire is usually going. After the good meal, we sat around the fire talking. The sound of the water in the creek rushing by, the sawing of the wind in the pines and the smell of the smoke added to the peace and joy I was now cherishing in Montana.
The rest of the week I continued to try to find where I put things and organize my stuff in the storage areas. When the weather was nice in the evening, we gather in the picnic area sharing dinner. It seemed pleasing to commune with a large family. Martha’s son, Dale, had dated me years before. I assumed we went our separate ways and that was that but he is always very irritating. He pretended I didn’t exist. If I brought food, he wouldn’t eat it. He would not speak directly to me but would say “tell her” this or that. It was obvious the toll his drug use had on his brain and personality. Frankly, I didn’t care. He made his choice but I didn’t want him to interfere with my relationship with the rest of the family.
On May 30th, Thursday - At least a third of my leg is beet-red and no healing seems to be taking place. I can’t keep treating it with no results so I went to Deer Lodge to the clinic to see a doctor. I felt I had to know what was happening with my leg since I had never had any wound take so long to heal - red meant infection. My imagination could run away with me, especially at night. After all my struggles to get here - own my motor home and car, just my luck to get an infection and die!
Actually my doctor at the Deer Lodge Clinic was a Physicians’ Assistant who seemed to know what he was doing. He ran many tests. Sternly he warned me that I could loose my leg if I did not do exactly as he said - I could check into the hospital OR take antibiotics plus physical therapy. The infection has developed into some kind of “Venous” ulcer. He wanted me to stop everything I had been doing – Martha’s clay, peroxide, Aloe Vera, et al. He also said the antibiotics I had been taking were wrong, so there went another $65 for each of the two prescriptions. After seeing him, I went across the street for physical therapy. I returned the next day for about a twenty-minute treatment. My leg was put into a Jacuzzi type bath, then a 5-day sterilized waterproof pad put on it. I really HOPED to see some positive results soon as I was very tired of limitations and pain. I thought I always healed quickly, yet no amount of prayer or meditation attempting to heal it helped, which I regret to say, since I believe in hands on healing and the power of prayer.
Friday, May 31, 2002 – After my one-week stay, around 1 PM, I was still trying to find places for everything I packed into this motor home. Lots of storage underneath but trying to decide how to organize it was the problem. Of course, THAT has been the least of my problems this week – getting sewer connected, water hoses and electrical cords, yet; the main PROBLEM has been my leg. With all our attempts at healing, visiting Martha’s favorite doctor before I went