Consequences of Distrust
The openness and trust of our early years yields to more caution as we mature. As children, our parents or teachers used criticism to redirect us from ideas or behaviors they considered inappropriate. We also felt betrayed when others seem no longer worthy of our trust. Our world view changed as we internalized new values – based on what we were told and our experience – on our way to adulthood. Our values shaped our concepts of right and wrong and became our guides in determining who to trust and who not to trust.
Our assumptions about people became reflected in trusting some and distrusting or avoiding others. We become convinced that some people are to be treated warily or with hostility, often for good reason. We learned to fear them as a threat to our mental or physical well-being.
Our distrust often is based on an assumption that others are different from us. They have different backgrounds, different looks or a different outlook on life – creating a distance between “us” and “them.”
Trust seems easy between allies who focus on a common enemy. But when rebellions overthrow tyranny, distrust often develops among those who replace the old order, sometimes with the same level of intensity once focused on the tyrant.
In our daily interactions we feel either connected to – or disconnected from – those we encounter. We tend to trust some people and distrust others. We vacillate between modes of trust and distrust throughout our lives, which becomes expressed in our relationships and political institutions. We interact positively with some and confront or avoid those we mistrust.
In both our personal and political lives we find ourselves aligned with those we believe are like us – or think like us – and separate from those who are different. We become certain about the correct views that people should hold to make the world a better place, and criticize those whose views we think could potentially destroy it. Our distrust for those who we think are different can become intense as we construct a mental wall between them and us. But that wall also cuts off our communication and ability to work with others.
Rebuilding Trust
Every group of individuals, large or small, becomes democratic when we interact respectfully to identify and move toward common goals.4 What we call dialogue often really is disagreement or criticism that pits us against each other. But history shows us that when we use respectful dialogue we are more likely to identify and progress toward what we want to achieve. The reintroduction of respectful, democratic interactions can represent a radical departure from what has gone before. It can mark the beginning of a renewed sense of trust in working together toward a future of shared decision making and accomplishment.
Democracy has the potential to improve our lives by creating a more just world. Many use the term “democracy” to focus on individual preferences and their own needs, rather than on what benefits the whole. Terms such as “liberty” can refer to what works best to preserve individual rights, or on the intent by some to impose their will on others. If only considered to be rule of the majority, democracy has the potential, by those who pervert it, to crush individual liberties. At that point it no longer really is democracy. The direction of true democracy must be played out in respectful interactions by those whose lives are affected, with the interests of all kept in mind.
We only know our own limited concepts of ourselves, others and our world. The world beheld by each of us is different.5 Our words—even when enlarged into phrases and sentences—only reflect a part of what we see and want to express. Communication is difficult, and often the most simplified phrases, although attractive for their brevity, only are limited reflections of the world around us or what we really think or feel. Miscommunication is common. Establishing common goals and reaching agreement on how best to work toward them is a continual challenge. But despite the obstacles inherent in communication, our choice always is whether to work toward greater trust between ourselves and others or to assume that others cannot be trusted.
It ultimately may be true that many people – and nations – are not worthy of our trust. But failing to try communication creates a foregone conclusion that reaching mutual goals is impossible. To create real communication we must be aware of the limitations of our perceptions and of human communication skills. Our judgments always are based on limited evidence and are inevitably incomplete. But understanding this brings greater humility to our interactions. It allows us to step back and consider with others what we might do as equals to mutually bring our world to a better place, rather than simply trying to impose our own views. This is the promise and challenge that real democracy holds.
The size of modern governments would never allow us to return to the “direct democracy” of Athens, where only a small percent of residents were allowed to participate. In our world it always will be a few representatives who determine if we are governed by democratic ideals. Thus it is essential to determine and express our views about whether those who represent us pursue the interests of only a narrow segment of the population or the broader interests of all.
When the interests of only a few are represented, the interests of those at all levels of society are negatively affected. When economies collapse all suffer the effects. Leaders who claim to understand and support democracy must represent the long-term interests of the population as a whole or they fail to represent any of us. We can bring democratic interactions to bear in our institutions, organizations, and personal lives. For society to move toward a more secure future for everyone, we must become better at clarifying those lessons from our past that can shine a light on the path before us.
In the following chapters we will (1) look at the origins of democracy, (2) consider the extent to which democracy – or its denial – affects our current world, and (3) discuss what is needed to maintain the benefits of democracy for our future.
Clarity about democratic ideals and their application to our lives and institutions is essential for those who want to live in a truly civilized world. The following chapters attempt to demonstrate how to create and maintain this clarity in every type of human interaction. As you read through these pages it will become clear how the themes of trust and distrust have shaped us and our cultures from the beginning and how they are likely to continue to shape our future. Practicing democracy may not make it perfect, but it increases our chances of making it possible.
Democracy and Human Dignity
Democracy is rooted in the struggle for human dignity. The above definition – “an organization or situation in which everyone is treated equally and has equal rights” – describes its essential nature. As our earliest societies expanded in size from small to larger groups we gave up egalitarian self-rule and lost our ability to make the major decisions that affect our lives. Democracy is an attempt to restore self-rule and the dignity that comes with it. But democracy rarely has lived up to its potential due to the ability of some members of a society to dominate others. Thus – for those who believe in democracy – it is our responsibility to discuss and monitor how to maintain it. This book is the story of the long struggle for human dignity – and its denial – over time, and how we can affect the outcome of that struggle.
Endnotes
1“Everywhere that the word democracy has fought its way forward across time and space, you can hear both these themes: the purposeful struggle to improve the practical circumstances of life, and to escape from arbitrary and often brutal coercion, but also the determination and longing to be treated with respect and some
