may not know, started as a small, 50-page homemade zine. It was printed out on my laser printer and bound by hand in my living room. I laughed as I looked through all the rejection letters we received for How It All Vegan! and then got a little shiver as I looked at the first contract we signed with Arsenal Pulp Press. As I re-read some of the fan mail, I got a little misty-eyed, and I realized that I’ve been doing this for close to 10 years.
How did this happen? How did this suddenly become my life’s passion? That is what the books and GoVegan.net have become – a passion. I’m not rolling in mountains of green dough from writing these books; more like rolling around in vegan dough. Literally. Baking my ass off so you guys can have some fun and easy vegan recipes to make.
There comes a time when you reach certain milestones in your life when it is beneficial to stop and reflect. Like when you turn 13 and you leave childhood behind and start your life as a teen. Or the day you turn 30 and realize with glee that you’re no longer considered a girl but can now walk around as a woman! Hear me roar! Or when you get your first kiss, your first tattoo, or the day you feel the warm sun on your skin and you realize that after a long dreary winter it finally feels like spring. It’s those small moments in your life when you stop and actually pay attention to what’s happening around you. I think it’s healthy to stop and take stock in where you’re headed in life; reassess the choices that you’ve made thus far and determine if things you were doing 10 years ago, or even 10 minutes ago, are still the things you want to be doing now.
I didn’t watch scary movies. In 1979, I went to see The Amityville Horror in the theater and I peed my pants, I was so scared. I was 11; to pee your pants at that age was almost as horrifying as the movie. On the walk home, with my hoodie wrapped around my waist to cover my pants, I vowed never to watch another scary movie.
Well, it hit me the other day – I’m a grown-up, damn it! I know the difference between real and fake. I know that movies are fake. So I decided that the vow I made as a young person was not what I wanted to do now, so my husband and I have been watching scary movies like crazy. And it’s actually been kind of fun.
So what about veganism, then?
I was raised a vegetarian since birth, so I didn’t choose it as my own path to walk down. It was all I knew. As a curious teenager, I “experimented” with meat in high school, but decided that meat wasn’t something I felt comfortable eating. As I matured into a young adult, I decided that using any animal products – whether it be food, clothing or products tested on animals – was something I was uncomfortable with. I made a clear choice to be vegan. And here I sit now – a woman in my mid-thirties – writing another cookbook and wanting to reflect back for a moment and reassess the choices I made as a young adult and see if veganism is still the lifestyle I want to live today.
I stopped reading literature about animal cruelty years ago. I don’t watch videos about meat production and animal testing anymore. I can’t. They make me feel sick and for good reason. The way we harvest, conduct tests on, and destroy animals and the planet, with no thought of the consequences, is disheartening and always makes me feel quite hopeless. Sometimes I felt as though I was the only one who could see how horrifying it all was, and that the choices I made were only a drop in a bucket. But if these last 10 years have shown me anything, it’s that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do. What a journey I’ve been on. I’ve been able to travel to places I never thought I’d go. I’ve been able to meet and feel the support and love from terrific, enthusiastic fans. I’ve been able to try incredible vegan food and restaurants in cities I’ve only seen in movies. Best of all, I feel like I have a worldwide family. Everyone I’ve met through having written these books (either in person or via GoVegan.net) is like a long-lost family member. What a joy it’s been to share these last 10 years with all of you.
THROUGH THE DARKEST DAYS
Through the years, I’ve had many friends who fall to the dark side and give up their veganism for various reasons. One friend gave up because she became sick and was convinced it was because of her vegan diet. But I watched how she ate and if you eat nothing but cake, potato chips, and cookies, and never touch fresh veggies, my friend – of course, you’re going to get sick. I had another friend who wanted to lose weight and try the Atkins diet. Wow. Like that diet makes any sense. I had another friend justify her new leather boots to me by saying, “At least they’re using the entire cow. I’m recycling.”
Uh-huh.
What I have a hard time wrapping my brain around is how you can have all this information about animals suffering horrendous cruelties for the sake of fashion and food, and one day be horrified about animal genocide and complacent the next? As my friend Josh, at HerbivoreMagazine.com, always says, “Once the curtain is pulled back, how can you not remain a committed vegan?”
I’ve always believed that it’s not my job to be the Vegan Police. This is MY vegan journey, not anyone else’s, and it’s up to individuals to decide for themselves. While I may feel disappointed when my friends fall off the wagon, what I really wonder is, where did their lack of enthusiasm come from? What was the moment when they decided that their principles didn’t mean more than that Meat Lovers pizza they’ve been missing?
Where does that “burn out” come from? How does an enthusiastic, compassionate person become apathetic? Is it really about missing cheese? Or is there something missing in your life? What is it that’s making you disconnect?
I understand how having this rigid list of rules can be exhausting: reading labels, bringing your own food to family dinners so you’ll have something to eat, having to spend extra money on vegan-specific items. I get all that, but it’s not so difficult that it can squash your spirit, is it? Frustrating, maybe. But difficult? Life in general can be complex at times. A life worth living takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of work to be a doctor, a parent, to keep your room clean, to go to work every day when your job is mundane. It takes a lot of work to teach your dog not to pee on the rug. Life is work.
I think if you find yourself becoming bogged down by the path you’re taking, then make another choice. I’m not saying give up on your veganism, but take stock. Look at your choices. Identify the aspects of your life that are dragging you down or making you feel uninterested, and get rid of them. Concentrate on what inspires you, what gives you joy.
If you find yourself waning, then try re-visiting those things that gave you inspiration in the first place. Read Herbivore magazine. Watch Meet Your Meat. Go to a Howard Lyman lecture. Find where you lost your passion and fire it up again. On the flip-side, if reading animal rights literature has you sobbing into your sheets every night, maybe you’ve read enough. Maybe it’s time to channel your energy in a different way.
And I’m not talking about being perfect. There is no such thing. But what you can strive for is excellence. Do what you can, and if you make a mistake or fall of the wagon – who cares? Each day is a new opportunity to be the best vegan you can be. It’s impossible to be 100 percent vegan. But what you can do is try your best.
By allowing yourself some slack from the guilt of not being perfect, veganism suddenly and simply becomes part of your lifestyle rather then a list of rigid rules to follow. My advice is simply to try your best and not worry about being perfect. It’s important not to dwell on what you’re not doing, but rather focus your energy on what you’re doing well.
The other day my husband and I were eating some fries; he grabbed a tiny, crunchy one from the bottom of the pile and suddenly realized he had eaten a piece of fried shrimp. Does that mean he’s lost all his vegan points? No. Shit happens and you move on to your next adventure and try to be the best vegan you can be.
And yes. We got the fries for free.
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