the ancient Kenyans followed stealthily in the tracks of the huge cats and then patiently and silently waited until the latter had finished feasting, after which they quickly moved in to secure the heads of any and all dead antelopes and wildebeest they could get their paw-like hands on. But what was it, specifically, about the heads that made them so special? Well, it was what was contained within the heads that really mattered: the brains.
Demonstrating that the average zombie might not be quite so brain-dead after all, the average antelope and wildebeest brain provides a great deal of tissue that is high in fat. In combined format the organs would have provided the average brain-eater with a significant percentage of the energy they would have required to live, survive, and thrive on the harsh, hot plains of Kenya. This raises an interesting possibility: when a voraciously hungry zombie sinks its wretched teeth into the head of its unfortunate victim, there may be a very good reason why it so often focuses on that one, particular part of the human anatomy: not only is the brain a source of food, it’s also a source of much-needed nutrients.
Brain Experiments
On April 13, 1953, CIA chief Allen Dulles ordered the creation of a program of mind control known as MK-ULTRA to be conducted by Dr. Sidney Gottlieb. Rumors and half-truths about new mind-control techniques being used by Soviet, Chinese, and North Korean interrogators on U.S. prisoners of war had panicked the CIA into a search for its own sure-fire method of questioning captives.
In April 1961, Dr. Gottlieb decided the animal experiments, which he had been conducting with electrode implants in their brains, were successful and that it was time to experiment with human brains. Information has leaked out concerning experiments with three Viet-Cong (VC) prisoners in July 1968.
A team of behaviorists flew into Saigon and traveled to the hospital at Bien Hoa where the prisoners were being confined. The agents from Subproject 94 set up their equipment in an enclosed compound, and the team’s neurosurgeon and neurologist inserted miniscule electrodes into the brains of the three VC prisoners.
After a brief recovery period, the prisoners were armed with knives and direct electrical stimulation was applied to their brains. The goal of the experiment was to determine if individuals with such electrodes implanted in their brains could be incited to attack and to kill one another. Once again, the Agency was seeking a perfect sleeper assassin, a true Manchurian Candidate, who could be electronically directed to kill a subject.
The CIA has experimented with behavior modification using electrodes as part of the MK-ULTRA mind-control program.
After a week of enduring electrical shocks to their brains, the prisoners still refused to attack one another. They were summarily executed and their bodies burned.
Brains
See also: Brain Eaters of Ancient Kenya
It was the 1985 film The Return of the Living Dead that initially introduced horror movie fans to the concept of zombies having a particular taste for brains over other parts of the human anatomy. Most people view zombies as largely brainless creatures, ones that are solely driven by a need to devour just about as much human flesh, bone, blood, and organs as is conceivably possible. The intriguing fact, however, is that when it comes to munching down on a brain, or several, there is a distinct method in the seeming madness of the killer zombie. It may sound wholly repugnant to the vast majority of people, but brains—or, at least certain brains, and most definitely healthy, disease-free brains—can offer a great deal of nutrition to the average hunter of heads.
Maghaz, for example, is a firm, favorite dish for the people of Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan. It is a mixture of the brains of sheep, goats, and cows (except in India, where cows are sacred). And to give it a bit of extra flavor, it is topped off with a sprinkling of crushed pistachios and brown gravy. Much loved in Borneo, Malaysia, Java, and Sumatra, Gulai is very much curry-like in its taste, texture and appearance. One of its staple ingredients is the brain of a cow. In the western part of Central Africa, and specifically in the Republic of Cameroon, for centuries it was a much revered tradition for a newly crowned tribal chief to devour the entire brain of a freshly slaughtered adult gorilla. Going way back in time, tens of thousands of years ago, much of what is today Europe was dominated by Neanderthal man. Evidence and fossilized remains suggest that not only were the Neanderthals cannibals, but they were also keen connoisseurs of the brains of their fellow, dead tribes-people.
It is hardly surprising that, today, the vast majority of the population turns its collective nose up at the very thought of eating brains—quite possibly because it provokes latent, subconscious thoughts of cannibalism. Nevertheless, there is a real advantage to eating the occasional brain, now and again. DHA, or docosahexaenoic acid, is a form of omega-3 fatty acid that is vital to the sustainment of human health. And to give you an idea of just how beneficial a brain can be to a person (or even to a zombie), the daily recommended intake of DHA for an average adult male and female is four grams. The typical cow’s brain provides a full twenty percent of that figure.
It should be stressed, however, that as well as the advantages to eating brains, there are distinct disadvantages, too. Brains are, for example, very high in cholesterol, which is typically not good for people. For those who are already dead, but reanimated, however, worries about cholesterol levels matter very little in the larger scheme of things. The biggest concern when it comes to dining—and dining regularly—on brains is the very real, and deeply serious risk of developing variant Creutzfeldt-Jacob disease (vCJD), which is the currently incurable, human equivalent of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, which is far better known as Mad Cow Disease.
All in all, then, while eating the occasional brain might not be the worst thing you could do in life, and which could actually prove to be welcomingly nutritious, it’s perhaps best to err on the side of caution. That means leaving the brain-eating to those that do it best: the risen dead.
Brides
According to legend, the Devil himself taught the great Voodoo Master Dr. John over one hundred rituals that could immediately transform a living or dead person into a zombie. Dr. John took immediate advantage of this newly acquired mastery to seize lovely young women and turn them into the living dead.
Zombie brides were the most sought-after creatures throughout the South after the American Civil War. Creole zombie brides were considered the most beautiful; and after men saw Little Sister Sally on Dr. John’s arm, every rich man in the city wanted to have a zombie bride of his own to show off at the next major social event.
Would the perfect bride be a zombie who would submit to your every command? After the American Civil War, such zombie brides were reportedly quite popular in the South.
