public reading of the document sank all doubts as a stream of water sucks the spider into its eddy. The faces of all present displayed grave satisfaction; they suspected they had created something that was greater than the sum of its parts. No one in his right mind would dare to question it. Epifanio Buenaventura became unusually fearless:
“And we can convinshe dem dat I’m de besht candidate, can’t we?”
Selon Perdumes kept his alabaster smile in check. Quietism in Motion had just cut its first tooth.
4
After confirming yet again that there were no tea bags left in the packet, Max Michels wavered between tearing it to pieces for its insolence and ensuring that he was really alone in the apartment. You only got away with it because she was running late, you miserable sod. And what if she finds there’s no tea for her breakfast? Better buy another packet before going and committing the supreme idiocy of becoming a candidate. I’ve got better things to do, she can buy her own fucking tea if she likes it so much. Huh, you’re all balls when she’s not around. Let’s see if it’s the same tonight.
At the level temporarily reserved for what he understood as his Himself, Max wondered if he really was about to add his name to the list of previous Epifanio Buenaventuras. Thinking it over, registering for the election was an enormously arrogant act. What did he hope to gain by it? Before being obliged to conclude that what he was searching for was to be found somewhere else, he preferred to finish off his interior monologue. Better to stick with the dreaded Epifanio than see yourself turned into him.
The residents of Villa Miserias reacted to the news of the electoral reforms with indifference. Few of them showed much inclination to follow the spectacle closely, but it soon became apparent that this was an advantage for the candidates. Even Buenaventura and his team realized that hardly anyone had what it took to form a sound opinion: the challenge was to learn to speak the dialect of the guts.
Even though—for obvious reasons—there was no question about the result of the contest, Orquídea floored her opponent with a speech that, if more abstract, also managed to strike the simplest of chords. In contrast to Epifanio, who promised to sort out the plumbing and construct more play areas for the children, Orquídea sketched the porous outlines of a new life: the life they each deserved. She spent a whole night adapting one of her former mantras to fit the occasion. Using the same essential elements, she tweaked them to appeal to the dormant aspirations of her voters:
SINCE NEEDS ARE DICTATED BY ABILITIES, VOTE FOR ORQUÍDEA LÓPEZ
Every apartment in Villa Miserias received Orquídea López’s campaign leaflet, which basically asked the residents why their futures should be limited by other people’s aspirations. To illustrate her case, she used the example of Chona, the elderly lady in Building 23, whose putrid pension barely met the needs of herself and her beloved canaries. Orquídea’s leaflet demonstrated that if she didn’t have to to pay the communal water charge, Chona would be able paint the rusty cages in which her only companions lived, and buy special food to make their plumage glossier. And neither was there any reason why she should pay the same for the repairs to the front door of the building when she clearly used it less than the neighboring families.
As Selon Perdumes’ outstanding pupil, Orquídea made use of the storytelling tradition to reinforce her message: the reverse side of her leaflet recounted her personal version of a fable clearly demonstrating the benefits of the adage that the whole is never more than the sum of its separate parts. She explained to the residents that the writer of these words was one of the first people to become aware of the serious error of talking to humans about what they should be, instead of what they really are. However, the fable needed updating since hers was not an age in which innocent little bees fitted the bill. The new metaphor had to be omnivorous, must have to fight for its life before going out to face the world, and must even be the enemy of its own siblings. Orquídea was fascinated to learn of a creature that was in the habit of throwing itself to the ground, its tongue hanging out and its eyes turned upwards, so that when its adversary—taking the animal for dead—relaxed its guard, it was able to flee. Without such cunning, the young animal would not even reach maturity as the mother only fed and protected two thirds of each litter, so that the least able were even spared the suffering of going through life, dragging their shortfalls along behind them. Orquídea was overcome by an ecstasy of inspiration and put the finishing touches to her electoral leaflet with a speed that was surprising, even for her.
THE FABLE OF THE OPOSSUMS
IN A POSSUM’S NEST
THERE’S NO PLACE FOR FOWL
THOSE WHO CAN’T GAIN THE BREAST
HAVE TO THROW IN THE TOWEL
THE BEES THAT GIVE HONEY
HAVE GONE UNDERNEATH
STORIES THAT ARE SUNNY
ARE NO USE TO THE THIEF
ENOUGH OF FALSE SERMONS!
CAN’T YOU SEE THERE’S NO BALM?
WHY WISH FOR DELUSIONS?
THEY CAN ONLY DO HARM
WRONG MAKES FOR RIGHT
OH FABLES OF YOUTH!
WRONG BECOMES MIGHT
AND THAT IS THE TRUTH
THE INDIVIDUAL IS KING
THE GROUP IS PURE SCHLOCK
NO COMPETITION WITHOUT SWINDLING
WHY IS THAT A SHOCK?
LAWS PROTECT THE ELITE
IT’S TIME TO TURN ON THE LIGHT
WHY TAKE A BACK SEAT?
JUDGE THE POOR IN THEIR PLIGHT
EACH TO HIS SORORITY
ACCRUING HIS WEALTH
BLESSED BE POVERTY
LET’S DRINK TO ITS HEALTH
IF WE WANT TO KEEP OUR BIRTHRIGHT
LET’S FORGET SAYING THANKS
SQUARE UP FOR THE PRIZE FIGHT
WE’RE BREAKING THE RANKS
VOTE FOR ME: I AM YOU.
The residents agreed: the time had come to leave paternalism behind. Forty-four buildings decided to come of age. By a majority vote, Orquídea López became the first female president-elect.
The process gave rise to another local tradition: Juana Mecha had been head of the Villa Miserias cleaning staff for years. The sound of her broom was an unofficial signal for the start of each working day. She was so regular in her habits that mothers knew if they were late dropping the kids off at school by her location when they left the building. She was also given to expressing herself in enigmatic maxims, most of which were ignored by the people to whom they were addressed.
In order to avoid the rush hour on public transport, Orquídea would set out for the office early, so she was always the first to leave. Her automatic
