an excellent son to imitate his father so carefully!
gen. kotemkin
You are always getting money. I never get a single kopeck I have not got a right to. It’s unbearable; it’s ridiculous! My nephew is ·119· going to be married. I must get his dowry for him.
prince petrovitch
My dear General, your nephew must be a perfect Turk. He seems to get married three times a week regularly.
gen. kotemkin
Well, he wants dowry to console him.
count r.
I am sick of the town. I want a house in the country.
marq. de poiv.
I am sick of the country. I want a house in town.
baron raff
Mes amis, I am extremely sorry for you. It is out of the question.
prince petrovitch
But my son, Baron?
gen. kotemkin
But my nephew?
·120· marquis de p.
But my house in town?
count r.
But my house in the country?
marquis de p.
But my wife’s diamond bracelet?
baron raff
Gentlemen, impossible! The old régime in Russia is dead; the funeral begins to-day.
count r.
Then I shall wait for the resurrection.
prince petrovitch
Yes, but, en attendant, what are we to do?
baron raff
What have we always done in Russia when a Czar suggests reform?—nothing. You forget we are diplomatists. Men of thought should have nothing to do with action. Reforms in Russia are very tragic, but they always end in a farce.
·121· count r.
I wish Prince Paul were here. By the bye, I think this boy is rather ungrateful to him. If that clever old Prince had not proclaimed him Emperor at once without giving him time to think about it, he would have given up his crown, I believe, to the first cobbler he met in the street.
prince petrovitch
But do you think, Baron, that Prince Paul is really going?
baron raff
He is exiled.
prince petrovitch
Yes; but is he going?
baron raff
I am sure of it; at least he told me he had sent two telegrams already to Paris about his dinner.
count r.
Ah! that settles the matter.
czar
[Coming forward.] Prince Paul better send ·122· a third telegram and order [counting them] six extra places.
baron raff
The devil!
czar
No, Baron, the Czar. Traitors! There would be no bad kings in the world if there were no bad ministers like you. It is men such as you who wreck mighty empires on the rock of their own greatness. Our mother, Russia, hath no need of such unnatural sons. You can make no atonement now; it is too late for that. The grave cannot give back your dead, nor the gibbet your martyrs, but I shall be more merciful to you. I give you your lives! That is the curse I would lay on you. But if there is a man of you found in Moscow by to-morrow night your heads will be off your shoulders.
baron raff
You remind us wonderfully, Sire, of your Imperial father.
czar
I banish you all from Russia. Your estates are confiscated to the people. You may carry your titles with you. Reforms in Russia, Baron, always end in a farce. You will have ·123· a good opportunity, Prince Petrovitch, of practising self-denial, that excellent virtue! that excellent virtue! So, Baron, you think a Parliament in Russia would be merely a place for brawling. Well, I will see that the reports of each session are sent to you regularly.
baron raff
Sire, you are adding another horror to exile.
czar
But you will have such time for literature now. You forget you are diplomatists. Men of thought should have nothing to do with action.
prince petrovitch
Sire, we did but jest.
czar
Then I banish you for your bad jokes. Bon voyage, Messieurs. If you value your lives you will catch the first train for Paris. [Exeunt Ministers.] Russia is well rid of such men as these. They are the jackals that follow in the lion’s track. They have no courage themselves, except to pillage and rob. But for these men and for Prince Paul my father would have been a good king, would not have died so horribly as he did die. How strange it is, the most real parts of one’s life always seem to be a dream! ·124· The council, the fearful law which was to kill the people, the arrest, the cry in the courtyard, the pistol-shot, my father’s bloody hands, and then the crown! One can live for years sometimes, without living at all, and then all life comes crowding into a single hour. I had no time to think. Before my father’s hideous shriek of death had died in my ears I found this crown on my head, the purple robe around me, and heard myself called a king. I would have given it all up then; it seemed nothing to me then; but now, can I give it up now? Well, Colonel, well? [Enter Colonel of the Guard.]
colonel
What password does your Imperial Majesty desire should be given to-night?
czar
Password?
colonel
For the cordon of guards, Sire, on night duty around the palace.
czar
You can dismiss them. I have no need of them. [Exit Colonel.] [Goes to the crown lying on the table.] What subtle potency lies hidden in this gaudy bauble, the crown, that ·125· makes one feel like a god when one wears it? To hold in one’s hand this little fiery coloured
