love you, Cecil?
cecil graham
A woman who didn’t love me? Oh, all my life!
dumby
So could I. But it’s so difficult to meet one.
·95· lord darlington
How can you be so conceited, Dumby?
dumby
I didn’t say it as a matter of conceit. I said it as a matter of regret. I have been wildly, madly adored. I am sorry I have. It has been an immense nuisance. I should like to be allowed a little time to myself now and then.
lord augustus
[Looking round.] Time to educate yourself, I suppose.
dumby
No, time to forget all I have learned. That is much more important, dear Tuppy. [Lord Augustus moves uneasily in his chair.]
lord darlington
What cynics you fellows are!
cecil graham
What is a cynic? [Sitting on the back of the sofa.]
lord darlington
A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
cecil graham
And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a ·96· man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing.
lord darlington
You always amuse me, Cecil. You talk as if you were a man of experience.
cecil graham
I am. [Moves up to front of fireplace.]
lord darlington
You are far too young!
cecil graham
That is a great error. Experience is a question of instinct about life. I have got it. Tuppy hasn’t. Experience is the name Tuppy gives to his mistakes. That is all. [Lord Augustus looks round indignantly.]
dumby
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
cecil graham
[Standing with his back to the fireplace.] One shouldn’t commit any. [Sees Lady Windermere’s fan on sofa.]
dumby
Life would be very dull without them.
·97· cecil graham
Of course you are quite faithful to this woman you are in love with, Darlington, to this good woman?
lord darlington
Cecil, if one really loves a woman, all other women in the world become absolutely meaningless to one. Love changes one—I am changed.
cecil graham
Dear me! How very interesting! Tuppy, I want to talk to you. [Lord Augustus takes no notice.]
dumby
It’s no use talking to Tuppy. You might just as well talk to a brick wall.
cecil graham
But I like talking to a brick wall—it’s the only thing in the world that never contradicts me! Tuppy!
lord augustus
Well, what is it? What is it? [Rising and going over to Cecil Graham.]
cecil graham
Come over here. I want you particularly. [Aside.] Darlington has been moralising and ·98· talking about the purity of love, and that sort of thing, and he has got some woman in his rooms all the time.
lord augustus
No, really! really!
cecil graham
[In a low voice.] Yes, here is her fan. [Points to the fan.]
lord augustus
[Chuckling.] By Jove! By Jove!
lord windermere
[Up by door.] I am really off now, Lord Darlington. I am sorry you are leaving England so soon. Pray call on us when you come back! My wife and I will be charmed to see you!
lord darlington
[Up stage with Lord Windermere.] I am afraid I shall be away for many years. Good-night!
cecil graham
Arthur!
lord windermere
What?
cecil graham
I want to speak to you for a moment. No, do come!
·99· lord windermere
[Putting on his coat.] I can’t—I’m off!
cecil graham
It is something very particular. It will interest you enormously.
lord windermere
[Smiling.] It is some of your nonsense, Cecil.
cecil graham
It isn’t! It isn’t really.
lord augustus
[Going to him.] My dear fellow, you mustn’t go yet. I have a lot to talk to you about. And Cecil has something to show you.
lord windermere
[Walking over.] Well, what is it?
cecil graham
Darlington has got a woman here in his rooms. Here is her fan. Amusing, isn’t it? [A pause.]
lord windermere
Good God! [Seizes the fan—Dumby rises.]
cecil graham
What is the matter?
·100· lord windermere
