find tips about how to RSVP (yes, we’ll tell you what it means!) and what to do if you get invited to a party but your best friend doesn’t. Plus, there’s a quiz to help you figure out what kind of party guest you are, ideas for making conversa- tion with someone you just met, and advice on how to deal with all kinds of “oops!” party moments.
you’re invited
your guide to being a great guest
on the guest list
Yay! You’ve been invited to a party! Excited? You should be! But before the fun can begin, there’s something all guests must do: RSVP ASAP!
RSVP stands for “répondez s’il vous plaît” (pronounced rey-pawndey seel voo pleh), which is French for “please reply.” It’s important to respond to an invitation as soon as possible to let the hostess know whether or not you can attend her party.
Check the “respond by” date on the invitation—it might say something such as “RSVP by March 15” or “Please respond by November 10.”
There will usually be a phone number for you to call, an e-mail address to write to, or a card to mail back. It’s best to respond right away. That way you won’t forget and leave the hostess hanging, and right from the start you’ll be on your way to being a great guest.
Can’t go If you already know you can’t go to the party, let the hostess know as soon as you can. Tell her how happy you were to get the invitation and how bummed you are that you have to miss her party.
Can’t make it last minute Sometimes things come up that can’t be avoided. You might get the flu or have to visit sick Uncle Ted in the hospital. Canceling at the last minute can be really disappointing—for you and the hostess. Give the hostess a call right away. Let her or her parents know you can’t come and be sure to tell them why.
A phone call is best so that you can actually speak to a person. If you send an e-mail, she might not get it until the party is over and worry about where you are.
left out
I know someone who invited every girl in my class but me to her party. I thought we were friends. What did I do wrong?
Getting left out happens to all of us at some point. It’s no fun, but it may have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe there was a limit to how many people could be invited, or the hostess’s parents made the final decisions on the guest list. Either way, accept the situation as it is, and don’t let it sour your friendship.
On the day of the party, avoid moping around the house by having something fun planned—start a craft project, create a playlist of your favorite songs, get lost in a great book, or plan a sleepover with another friend who was not invited.
I got invited to a party but my best friend didn’t. Now I’m afraid to tell her.
Even if you’re trying to spare your friend’s feelings, you should be honest about receiving an invitation. Keeping a secret can lead to feelings of hurt and betrayal, which can poison a friendship. Suggest doing something together on a different day. And, unless she asks, don’t talk too much about the party afterward.
know before you go
No two parties are exactly the same, but with the exception of sleepovers, most parties follow similar schedules.
After guests arrive, the hostess will introduce everyone and leave time for chatting. Sometimes a light snack, such as chips and soda, will be served while guests get to know each other better.
Then there’s often some sort of activity, such as playing games or sports, swimming, dancing, or doing something that matches the party’s theme.
Following the activity, it’s time to eat—usually pizza, burgers, or cake is served.
If it’s a birthday party, opening presents might follow the meal.
After that, it’s usually time to go.
Guests are often friends and family members of the hostess. Some guests may know each other from school, but there may be other guests who don’t, such as the hostess’s cousin or girls from her ballet class.
The hostess’s mom and dad, or other adult, will chaperone the party. They’re there to make sure the party goes smoothly.
The one thing you can count on is that the hostess wants all her guests to have a good time.
Party pro Just like getting good at a sport or musical instrument, being comfortable in new situations takes practice. Follow these tips to become a party pro.
“Be me” Tell yourself this simple statement—and practice it regularly! Being myself means I’m:
• confident;
• happy with who I am; and
• OK knowing I’m not always going to be perfect. (Who’s perfect, anyway? Nobody!)
Strength in numbers If your friends are also invited to the party, go together. That way you have a built-in support group to talk to, dance with, and depend on. Having friends around can help you relax.
What to bring
• Gifts: If it’s a birthday party, try to ask the hostess questions that will give you clues about what gift she would like.
• Food: Should you bring any snacks or drinks?
• Other items: Is there anything you need to bring, such as skates, music, or a sleeping bag?
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Jackson! I’m Kimberly.
Greeting parents When meeting your hostess’s parents, be polite and pleasant. Introduce yourself.
When you leave the party, be sure to say “good-bye” to the hostess’s parents and thank them for inviting you.
Helping hand
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