and eager argotic questions abound:
• Yoroku? (profits) Was this a successful stint?
• Rachi? (picket fence) What are the results?
• Musuko wakakatta? (was the son young) There was no money in the house?
• Yabakatta? or yabakaita? (from yabai, “dangerous”) Has the job been a flop?
• Amerikan! (American) This is worthless! (American coffee, the bandits explain, is ridiculously weak. Like a stolen piece of junk, it does not do anything for one).
The joyful circumstance in which loot turns out to be of much higher value than anticipated is gaily heralded with atsui (it is thick). Another even cheerier occasion occurs when, during the loot dividing, an unexpectedly large wad of bank notes is found stashed in an antique or in the lining of a picture. This circumstance is dubbed atari (hit).
Burglars who work in twos and threes often prefer to split the loot at the scene of the crime. This way, everyone can do an immediate dankon utsu (bullet-hole banging), rushing off home after a successful job. This expression is always good for a raucous laugh, since dankon utsu, if written with the characters “male-root banging” can also mean “banging the penis.” Oi, hayaku dankon ut ze! (Yo man, let's split!) could with a giggle be misinterpreted as “Yo man, let's bang penises!”
2
THE CRIMINALS who live most dangerously are the odorikomi (those who enter dancing). Unlike their cousins the akisunerai (empty-nest targeters), the odorikomi do not check, recheck, and then check again before kicking doors in. If money is to be had, they will break and enter. Over time, the jargon of Japanese burglars playfully developed the bad boys' dancing image, and soon even the toughest thugs came to be jocularly known as odoriko (danseuses). The terpsichorean theme went even further, and these rash methods of burglary came to be known as bon odori, from the dances of Obon, the summer Festival of the Dead.
• saka no odoriko ga mata tsukamatta ze! That danseuse from Osaka was caught again!
• Konban no bon odori umaku yare yo! Good luck at tonight's dance!
The burglars enjoyed the festive idea of combining august ceremony with barging into houses, and were soon calling each other both obon and urabon (from the older Sanskrit name for the rituals, Ullambana). The Obon festival was originally held in July, which prompted rough looters also to be called shichigatsu (seventh month), and then nanoka and nanuka (seventh day), which finally became the even more esoteric ichiroku (“one-six,” i.e. seven). As more and more areas in Japan 'began celebrating the festival in August, some gangs simply called their tougher burglars hachigatsu (eighth month), while more traditional gangs stuck to the old words.
Dancing thieves live on the edge. Some have actually become specialists in entering orusu (occupied nests); these are the hamahori (beach diggers) and nobori (risers). While the family is eating or watching television in one room, they tiptoe from closet to closet collecting valuables. Some thieves wait until the family is safely in bed; these are the kurumi (walnuts). Their silent method of entry is known as seburikameru (sleeping crawl). Related to them are the machi (those who wait), the irimachi (those who enter and wait), and the tomari (those who stay over). They break into occupied houses and then hide in a closet or under a bed until the family goes out. Then the heist begins.
Hiding in an occupied house is known as anko (bean jam). The jam, the tough burglars explain, is always hidden inside the anpan (bean-jam bun), just like thieves are concealed in the house. The drawback of this style of looting is that there is a good chance of bumping into the family. The victims are liable to start “dancing” (odoru), jumping up and down and waving their hands in terror, often followed by what is known as nekatsukareru, the backwards version of kane o tsukareru (“hitting the gong,” or screeching for help). If the burglar is lucky the family will now scuttle out of the house and make for the nearest police station, a situation referred to with the tongue-twisted Korean teitotsuchiyotsuta.
Some victims, however, will not run. Confronted, a rough burglar will turn into inaori (a stay-and-fixer). He will do pika (flick out a switchblade), flash his pachinko (“pinball machine,” in this case a gun) or resort to binding and gagging. This is known as hosokukuri (thin knotting), kumo ni kakeru (being caught by the spider), and maki ni awasu (letting someone experience the roll). Some burglars will vent their frustration at being caught by beating up the victim in what is known as tsunagu (connecting). When it is a housewife who is being tied up, the brute phrase used is yachi o jime ni kakeru (tying up the cunt).
• Inaori ni naru shika hh wa nai ze. The only way to be a heistman is to be rough when you have to be.
• Aitsu ni pachinko o tsukitsukete miro yo! Ippen de damatchimau ze! Shove your gun into his face! That should shut him up!
• Yab! Barechimatta! Hayaku aitsu o kumo ni kakero! Fuck! He's caught us! We're gonna have to tie him up quick!
• Tsunagareta yatsu ima byin ni iru rashii ze. I hear the guy we roughed up is in the hospital now.
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