are guilty as well) eat away at the bonds between mothers and children. They are neural solvents, dissolving warmth into want, happiness into hunger, love into cold, unfeeling sludge. Addict parents are often indifferent to, or even resentful of, their children’s needs. Their parenting behaviour waffles between extremes: harsh, over-involved authoritarianism juxtaposed with excessively permissive indifference. On the latter pole, mothers occasionally invert the parent-child relationship, begging support from a child developmentally unequipped to take on the role of parent.
Sadly, growing up in this sort of environment has a palpable effect on children. Neglect, both emotional and physical, are distressingly commonplace in addicts’ homes. And we know what emotional neglect hath wrought — think back to Bruce Perry’s relational poverty, to Meaney’s troubled low LG-ABN rats, to Sophie’s sleepless nights. Children deprived of emotional and intellectual nourishment are cruelly denied the chance to grow and learn unfettered. Their dendritic gardens become parched and withered. Promise rots on the vine. Fussy infants become troubled toddlers become angry, sullen teens. Their love-starved brains lurch hungrily toward stimulus, anything to fire their rusty, underused dopamine receptors — alcohol, sex, cocaine, heroin, gambling. Booze and narcotics are the most popular choice, but the “what” of it is almost immaterial. The real issue is the why, and the why never changes.
Hungry Ghosts
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