meant a weekend afternoon pouring over the stock at the iconic and rambling Colony Music store near Times Square. Many (many) dollars were spent in that store over the years for two children in particular—one who is the professional musician (trumpeter) and music teacher, and the other who is a performer, music theatre actor and musician.
The Colony Music staff there were the human embodiment of what Amazon does today, ‘If you like this then you will like that’.
I would sometimes arrive with a list from the two performers in the family and the staff would be impressed with my knowledge and taste for the latest in jazz and Broadway or off-Broadway’s ‘hot’ new songwriter/musical team. Maybe that was partly why the kids were ever so understanding of their mother’s wanderings.
Our kids knew that someone might get something that Mum had seen and thought was a good idea at the time, but they would not all get presents just because I had been away doing my job.
When travelling for work, enjoy the surrounds
One of my other insights was that, if you travel, don’t rush home with things half-done. Stay another day, or whatever it takes to arrive home with the work done so you can be fully present (at least for a while) or take some downtime. Go visit a gallery or museum, walk around whatever city you are in to soak up the atmosphere, go do some shopping, watch a play or a sports game. If you do that you are more likely to be more relaxed as well as more interesting to talk to when you get home!
I have to confess that Robert was not fully aware of this policy of mine until quite recently. A couple of years ago, I led one of those lunchtime sessions with a ‘Women in Technology’ group. Also on the platform was a Human Resources Executive of one of Australia’s largest companies. After I made my comments about the value of taking some downtime, she came up to me to thank me for the advice and told me she was going back to the office to redo her schedule for her London trip the following week to include an extra day out.
She ran into Robert and me in the foyer at an event a little while later, where she commented to Robert that he was clearly a very understanding person. I then had a little bit of explaining to do.
As a friend of mind is fond of saying, ‘Not everyone has to know everything all the time’.
The caveat: we each have different drivers, different comfort levels
Each of us is different. My purpose here is to illustrate how we deal with ourselves, using some of my journey, and that of some other women, to provide context and learnings.
I don’t expect others to copy the way I have approached things, and I expect not many would want to!
As Jody Evans indicated, there is no one right way. We each find ourselves in different circumstances, we were brought up differently, have varied experiences and different levels of tolerance for ambiguity and stress. What is really important is for each of us to understand our own motivations and strengths and play to those.
The leading Company Chairman and Director, Elizabeth Proust put it this way, ‘Women need to work with each other, build great networks, take a few career risks, and also ensure that at least one domestic skill is a major deficiency. Mine is cooking. I don’t and won’t cook’.
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know and play to your strengths
Be realistic about your strengths and experience
Reflecting on what has, and has not, worked for you previously can give you useful information about your strengths, limitations and development needs.
What roles did you really enjoy and why, or what parts of your current role do you really enjoy and do well?
Working with a large corporate firm about four years ago, a colleague and I were having a feedback session with an ambitious young executive who reported in two levels below the CEO. Let’s say his name was Ahmed.
Ahmed was desperate for the next level role, and, unbeknown to us, had just missed out on that role for the second time in three years.
At the end of the session he asked straight-out did we think he would ever obtain that role, or one just like it? To date, no one had really explained to him why he had been unsuccessful—twice.
Our response, in a respectful but direct manner, went something like this, ‘Well if you spend years developing a few particular areas, and then turn yourself inside out and become a different person, maybe you might get there. But why would you want to do that?’
He was a bit stunned and we then had a more measured discussion about his real strengths and where these—plus his great experiences—could take him. Three years later he continued to use his attributes well in an expanded role in the same firm, but not in the type of role to which he originally aspired. And he is quite okay with that.
You should seek this sort of feedback on your own skill set. It might come from your boss, colleagues, those you lead or your clients, customers or other stakeholders. It could come through a formal 360-degree process, or thoughtful feedback and interactions with your friends and family. Hopefully it comes from all of those sources.
Invest in your development
Self-awareness about your strengths, together with your limitations (euphemistically called your development needs), provides the basis of your personal development and investment plan.
Where can your strengths, capabilities and attributes be deployed most appropriately? Are there areas that really matter? Which one or two areas, with a small investment, will make an exponential impact on your contribution, job satisfaction, or your options? Know what areas don’t matter so much and accept that these are not your strengths, nor are they likely to be, and so be it.
Part two examines what you should be doing in relation to those you lead and manage. For now, let’s focus on you.
Many years ago, a fellow panel member, Bob Bisdee, gave me a coffee mug at an industry conference. Bob was a careers counsellor for many years and the motto Bob had on those mugs was ‘steer your own career’. I kept that mug for many years as something of a reminder, as I thought it was very good advice.
Christine Kilpatrick began her career as a medical intern and resident, before a rotation in neurology convinced her to become a neurologist. She later became the Chief Medical Officer at Melbourne Health where she realised that, despite her somewhat extensive medical experience, in order to truly gain the credibility she needed for that role, and to become a CEO, she had to invest in an MBA.
A decade or two ago, people working in large organisations or government agencies would expect the organisation to take the initiative in development opportunities for them.
Organisations do need to invest in their people, but the most effective development takes place in those that are attuned to benefit from it—those with a strong orientation to accept responsibility for their own development and invest in it.
Professional development, formal and informal, and professional engagement, has always been a key part of my DNA. It has brought me into contact with some fabulous people throughout my career.
In the work I do today, it is something we look for in those we are working with. I am always amazed at those who seem to get by without this form of stimulation and commitment. They just don’t know what they are missing—until it is too late.
Self-development is
