alt="" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="#fb3_img_img_91cfc3d9-dc50-5ce6-b0dc-924ee5f81bac.png"/>A shared life is the best life.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a significant other or a best friend or a relative. Life’s moments are often better when they are shared. It is almost as if you can experience things more robustly when you experience them with someone else. You have your experience, but you also get to watch the person you are with having the experience. You get to talk about the experience, both in the moment and after, and relive it.
That’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with doing things on your own. There is a great deal to be learned when you take things on all by yourself. But with all of life’s highs and lows, sorrows and joys, excitement, and even simplicity, the act of sharing enhances. It can ease the difficult ones as well. Sometimes, it almost feels as if something isn’t real unless you have someone there to witness it with and for you.
Humans are pack animals. They are meant to live in groups. They are intended to care for one another and to be cared for. There are certainly people who thrive alone. But most of us find that sharing life and all of its ups and downs with other people is a happier, more fulfilling, and even healthier way to live. It’s okay to want to interact with people. It’s okay to want to be in the company of others and not interact. And it’s okay to spend time recharging solo. That Unicorn knows what she needs and when she needs it, and she shares herself, her life, and her time accordingly.
Since I was a little girl, my dad has consistently reminded me that “life is not a dress rehearsal.” You only get to do this life-thing once, at least as far as any of us know. Too many of us treat our lives as if we will have another opportunity to do and see and experience the things that we encounter. But this is it, the big show. We don’t get a second chance to say yes instead of no, sit in the front of the roller coaster instead of the back, or say hello instead of sitting alone at that table. That Unicorn knows to open the door—or at least look through the peephole—when opportunity comes knocking.
Change can be frightening and challenging. But that is only because it represents the new and unknown. Sure, you’re comfortable with where you are and who you’re with and what you’re doing. And unicorns do love to be comfy. But That Unicorn also knows that she only gets one shot at being her sparkly best, and she owes it to herself, not to say the universe, to take a chance and make things happen and live…really live. The sidelines are safe. But you may never get the same opportunity to take the stage or hit the field or test the waters again. That Unicorn was made to shine.
Life is about singularities. It’s made up of a zillion little moments that come and go. When we miss those moments, they are gone forever. So, unless you’re going to die or lose your life savings or put others’ lives or well-being at risk, climb it, sail it, eat it, sing it, see it, try it, do it. You will likely never be in that moment again. And most of us will have far greater regret about the things we didn’t do than about the things we did.
Regret is an easy trap to fall into. You don’t seize the opportunity presented, and you carry that regret like a millstone around your neck. It weighs you down and follows you around. Ultimately, regret keeps you from seizing the next opportunity, and the next, until you find yourself filled with more regret than satisfaction when it comes to your life and your choices about that life. That’s the kind of self-defeating mayhem for which That Unicorn has no time or energy.
Sometimes we do things we’re not entirely proud of or thrilled about. We drink a little too much at the party, we say something that hurts someone’s feelings, or we don’t go on the trip or take the job. It’s okay to be disappointed in a choice…for a moment. It’s not okay to let that choice ruin you. It doesn’t make any sense. Why have one regret compound itself into a zillion more?
That Unicorn is all about living and learning. Don’t let one misstep keep you from saying yes to the next opportunity. Instead of regretting a slip, learn from it. Use that mistake to inform how you will act when the next event or trip or job presents itself. You cannot change the past nor predict the future. You can, however, be present in the now and seize every moment that each day gives you. That Unicorn lives with eyes and arms and heart wide open and ready to receive the gifts that—trust me—the universe is designed to offer you. Yesterday is in the books. But today is all yours.
Unicorns are planners. They have to be. There’s too much life to go at it unplanned. But they are also realistic and flexible…just not too realistic and not too flexible. That’s the best part about That Unicorn. She is all the things that we sometimes think are too hard to be. When we plan like That Unicorn, we remember to pack extra socks just in case. But only one pair because a heavy suitcase is the worst. That Unicorn listens to the weather report but always keeps an umbrella in the car; she also knows that wherever you travel, they always sell umbrellas somewhere. That Unicorn knows that to plan is human, but to throw that plan out the window can also be divine.
I’ve burned myself in both directions—both over-planning and under-planning—so I know what it is to walk the not-so-unicorn path. But I learned from those trips to always go the way of the unicorn. I planned a Disney trip within an inch of its life. No one was ever hangry or over-tired. No one got too hot. Every ride was ridden. Every show was seen. There was park time, pool time, and hotel time. Money was saved. Convenience was had. And there wasn’t one fight or meltdown, even though three adults and one five-year-old were involved and staying in one room. It wasn’t easy. And all the planning was on me. But it was so worth it.
That Unicorn knows that a good plan means she’ll be happy and so will everyone else. Now, others have to be willing to follow the plan, and it’s a good idea to chart a course where the only person being disadvantaged will be the one not following the plan. But, in general, a good plan goes a long way. Proper planning can be a thankless job, but I like to think of everything going smoothly as my reward.
I don’t always plan. Sometimes that still works out fine. Sometimes I’m sorry that I didn’t plan better. I miss a museum or waste time or resources. I try not to beat myself up about it (even though it’s one of the most significant issues I seem to always be working on), and I try to learn for next time. Sometimes, others do the planning. As long as they’re good at, I say, “Have at it.” And, if it turns out to be a disaster, I chalk it up to experience and make a note not to follow that person’s planning again.
The point is, with a plan, life has less of a chance of just passing you by. Plan to get things done, so you’re free when your friends are in town. Google restaurants before your road trip so you don’t miss the best BBQ on Route 66. Ask for how-to tips about almost anything, and don’t waste your time reinventing the wheel. That Unicorn is all about being calm and efficient because calm and efficient always feels better than harried and disorganized.
When it comes to planning, That Unicorn acknowledges that…
That Unicorn doesn’t like to leave things that need to be done hanging in the breeze.
