happiness arises through their kindness. Even our body is the result of the kindness of others. We did not bring it with us from our previous life—it developed from the union of our father’s sperm and mother’s ovum. Once we had been conceived our mother kindly allowed us to stay in her womb, nourishing our body with her blood and warmth, putting up with great discomfort and finally going through the painful ordeal of childbirth for our sake. We came into this world naked and empty-handed and were immediately given a home, food, clothes and everything else we needed. While we were a helpless baby our mother protected us from danger, fed us, cleaned us and loved us. Without her kindness we would not be alive today.
Through receiving a constant supply of food, drink and care, our body gradually grew from that of a tiny helpless baby to the body we have now. All this nourishment was directly or indirectly provided by countless living beings. Every cell of our body is therefore the result of others’ kindness. Even those who have never known their mother have received nourishment and loving care from other people. The mere fact that we are alive today is a testimony to the great kindness of others.
It is because we have this present body with human faculties that we are able to enjoy all the pleasures and opportunities of human life. Even simple pleasures such as going for a walk or watching a beautiful sunset can be seen to be a result of the kindness of innumerable living beings. Our skills and abilities all come from the kindness of others; we had to be taught how to eat, how to walk, how to talk and how to read and write. Even the language we speak is not our own invention but the product of many generations. Without it we could not communicate with others or share their ideas. We could not read this book, learn Dharma or even think clearly. All the facilities we take for granted, such as houses, cars, roads, shops, schools, hospitals and movie theaters, are produced solely through others’ kindness. When we travel by bus or car we take the roads for granted, but many people worked very hard to build them and make them safe for us to use.
The fact that some of the people who help us may have no intention of doing so is irrelevant. We receive benefit from their actions, so from our point of view this is a kindness. Rather than focusing on their motivation, which in any case we do not know, we should focus on the practical benefit we receive. Everyone who contributes in any way toward our happiness and well-being is deserving of our gratitude and respect. If we had to give back everything that others have given us, we would have nothing left at all.
We might argue that we are not given things freely but have to work for them. When we go shopping we have to pay, and when we eat in a restaurant we have to pay. We may have the use of a car, but we had to buy the car, and now we have to pay for gas, tax and insurance. No one gives us anything for free. But from where do we get this money? It is true that generally we have to work for our money, but it is others who employ us or buy our goods and so indirectly it is they who provide us with money. In addition, the reason we are able to do a particular job is that we have received the necessary training or education from other people. Wherever we look, we find only the kindness of others. We are all interconnected in a web of kindness from which it is impossible to separate ourself. Everything we have and everything we enjoy, including our very life, is due to the kindness of others. In fact, all the happiness there is in the world arises as a result of others’ kindness.
Our spiritual development and the pure happiness of full enlightenment also depend upon the kindness of living beings. Buddhist centers, Dharma books and meditation courses do not arise out of thin air but are the result of the hard work and dedication of many people. Our opportunity to read, contemplate and meditate on Buddha’s teachings depends entirely upon the kindness of others. In addition, as explained later, without living beings to give to, to test our patience or to develop compassion for, we could never develop the virtuous qualities needed to attain enlightenment.
In short, we need others for our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Without others we are nothing. Our sense that we are an island, an independent, self-sufficient individual, bears no relation to reality. It is closer to the truth to picture ourself as a cell in the vast body of life, distinct yet intimately bound up with all living beings. We cannot exist without others, and they in turn are affected by everything we do. The idea that it is possible to secure our own welfare while neglecting that of others, or even at the expense of others, is completely unrealistic.
Contemplating the innumerable ways in which others help us, we should make a firm decision: “I must cherish all living beings because they are so kind to me.” Based on this determination we develop a feeling of cherishing—a sense that all living beings are important and that their happiness matters. We try to mix our mind single-pointedly with this feeling and maintain it for as long as we can without forgetting it. When we arise from meditation we try to maintain this mind of love, so that whenever we meet or remember someone we naturally think: “This person is important, this person’s happiness matters.” In this way we can make cherishing living beings our main practice.
THE BENEFITS OF CHERISHING OTHERS
Another reason for cherishing others is that it is the best method to solve our own and others’ problems. Problems, worry, pain and unhappiness are types of mind; they are feelings and do not exist outside the mind. If we cherish everyone we meet or think about, there will be no basis for developing jealousy, anger or other harmful thoughts, and our mind will be at peace all the time. Jealousy, for example, is a state of mind that cannot bear another’s good fortune, but if we cherish someone how can his or her good fortune disturb our mind? How can we wish to harm others if we regard everyone’s happiness to be of paramount importance? By genuinely cherishing all living beings we will always act with loving kindness, in a friendly and considerate way, and they will return our kindness. Others will not act unpleasantly toward us, and there will be no basis for conflict or disputes. People will come to like us, and our relationships will be more stable and satisfying.
Cherishing others also protects us from the problems caused by desirous attachment. We often become strongly attached to another person who we feel will help us to overcome our loneliness by providing the comfort, security or excitement we crave. However, if we have a loving mind toward everyone, we do not feel lonely. Instead of clinging onto others to fulfill our desires we will want to help them fulfill their needs and wishes. Cherishing all living beings solves all our problems because all our problems come from our mind of self-cherishing. For example, at the moment if our partner left us for someone else we would probably feel very upset, but if we truly cherished them we would want them to be happy, and we would rejoice in their happiness. There would be no basis for us to feel jealous or depressed, so although we might find the situation challenging, it would not be a problem for us. Cherishing others is the supreme protection from suffering and problems, and enables us to remain calm and peaceful all the time.
Cherishing our neighbors and the people in our local area will naturally lead to harmony in the community and society at large, and this will make everyone happier. We may not be a well-known or powerful figure, but if we sincerely cherish everyone we meet we can make a profound contribution to our community. This is true even for those who deny the value of religion. There are some people who do not believe in past or future lives or in holy beings but who nevertheless try to give up self-concern and work for the benefit of others. This is a very positive attitude that will lead to good results. If a schoolteacher cherishes his or her students, and is free from self-concern, they will respect him and learn not only the subject he teaches but also the kind and admirable qualities he demonstrates. Such a teacher will naturally influence those around him in a positive way, and his presence will transform the whole school. It is said that there exists a magic crystal that has the power to purify any liquid in which it is placed. Those who cherish all living beings are like this crystal—by their very presence they remove negativity from the world and give back love and kindness.
Even if someone is clever and powerful, if he does not love others, sooner or later he will encounter problems and find it difficult to fulfill his wishes. If the leader of a country does not cherish his or her people but is concerned only with his own interests, he will be criticized and mistrusted, and
