(read more about the health of adopted children in Part III). Prospective parents of older children available for intercountry adoption should learn all they can about children eligible to be adopted from different countries and how these children are cared for while waiting to be adopted.
CHOOSING AN AGENCY AND COUNTRY PROGRAM
Before choosing an agency, get a free subscription to Guidestar, which provides tax returns for all nonprofit agencies. Not only will you be able to review the top salaries at the agency but, if you are good with math, you can decipher the percentage of their budget that goes to help a country where they are working.
The best source of information about country programs and adoption agencies is other adoptive parents. Join blogs, networking sites and use search engines to locate information about programs you are considering. However, be aware that some agencies hire companies to expunge negative comments about their programs. If you are considering an agency, ask them to connect you with a parent who used their service and lives near you. It is worth the effort to meet adoptive parents face-to-face so you can learn about their experience.
Choose your adoption agency carefully. Public agencies typically do not offer intercountry adoption services, so you will probably have to work with a private agency. Some families prefer to work with an independent adoption facilitator, but we recommend you work with an agency. Facilitators may be unqualified, corrupt or charge exorbitant fees. Be wary of any too-good-to-be-true promises made by private consultants or facilitators that they will find you an infant, for example, in a country that has closed their infant program.
To find a reputable private agency that facilitates intercountry adoptions:
• Visit your state’s adoption or child welfare information websites, which often include lists of licensed private agencies.
• Check the website of your state’s attorney general or your state or county’s Better Business Bureau to find out if any complaints have been made against an agency.
• Visit the Council on Accreditation website and look for agencies with a COA accreditation that is also a Hague accreditation (http://coanet.org/accreditation/who-is-accredited/who-is-accredited-search/).
• Get agency recommendations from other adoptive parents by joining an online adoptive parent discussion forum (see the list at the end of chapter 6).
Once you have narrowed your choices to several agencies, call or visit each agency and ask the following questions:
• With which country adoption programs do you work?
• How much interaction will I need to have with the foreign agency?
• What are your adoptive parent requirements or the requirements of each country’s program?
• What ages are the children available for adoption from each country’s program?
• What pre-adoptive training do you offer or require?
• What support do you offer pre-adoptive parents as they go through the process?
• What post-placement services do you offer, including visits to the home, support groups and education or training?
• What are your fees?
• How many visits do I have to make to the country for each program and what will I have to do while I’m there?
• How do you match waiting children with prospective parents?
• Typically, how long is the process from application to homecoming?
Don’t hesitate to ask the agency as many questions as you need to, because intercountry adoption can involve a lot more steps than domestic adoption and you will need to learn about each country’s program before deciding which is best for you. The agency you choose should be willing to answer all your questions, address your concerns and make you feel comfortable about the path you have chosen to adopt a child.
In choosing a country from which to adopt, think about travel requirements. You should ask your agency about required travel prior to selecting a country if you think travel will be an issue for you. It is in the best interest of your child for you to plan on going to the child’s birth country and not have your child escorted. The number of required trips, and the required length of stay for each, varies by country. Pre-adoptive parents may have to make one trip to meet and choose a waiting child, then make a second to bring the child home. A parent may need to stay in the country for several weeks or even months to collect all the papers the child needs to exit the country.
Also research which countries you are eligible to adopt from (for example, gay and lesbian couples are prohibited from adopting by many countries), the characteristics of waiting children, the reputation of the program and the costs. Most importantly, think about which culture you are most drawn to or which you are unwilling to adopt from. All intercountry adoptions are transcultural and some are transracial. Think about how you might support a child from a different culture develop a strong sense of self and identity. For example, do you live in a diverse community where a child from a different race or culture would be welcome? Are you willing to travel to your child’s country of origin to help him reconnect with his birth culture, should he be interested in doing so in the future? Do you have friends from specific ethnic or cultural backgrounds from whom your child might enjoy learning?
Popular foreign programs for American adopters over the past three decades have included China, Russia, Poland, Colombia, Guatemala, South Korea, Romania and Vietnam. Programs that have grown in recent years include Ethiopia, the Philippines and Ukraine (prior to the Russia-Ukraine conflict). Almost all adoption programs have special programs for older youth, sibling groups and children with special health needs.
A mother who adopted a nearly four-year-old child with blindness and other special needs from Ukraine has this advice for prospective parents in the process of choosing an intercountry adoption program:
I recommend that parents look at all open countries. Assess needed travel (as length of time in countries varies in the number of trips needed and length of stay, etc.), time waiting before travel after submitting dossier, the country’s qualifications and the type of children available for adoption. There is no best country for all. For us, traveling to Ukraine and living there for sixty-one days was not an issue, but for families with other children it may be more challenging, although we did have the option to make multiple trips versus a longer stay. We did not qualify for some countries due to medical history. Country laws and restrictions are constantly changing.
With Ukraine, since you cannot pre-select a child, we did not get any information on a child before traveling, but other countries will give full profiles and match a family before traveling. For us, since we were adopting an older child, Ukraine worked well, as we could meet the child and see her personality before saying yes or no to adopting the child (it worked for us—before we met our girl, we met a girl who neither of us connected with so we declined the referral and got a referral to our child). Ukraine allows three referrals (allowing a family to meet up to three children) before sending a family home. Also, Ukraine was good for us as we were open to a child with special needs so we were able to adopt a younger child (under five). For families who are not open to special needs and want a younger child, Ukraine would not be best.
Note that this parent was interviewed prior
