dream, a dream she didn’t even know she had before the kids came along.
Kids have a funny way of changing your dreams. Prepping for your first child is such a strange practice. It’s all about cogitating variables with little or no information. It’s hard to say how you’ll feel after your baby arrives, or what kind of baby you’re going to get. For most of us, there’s a surge of love and protectiveness. We can’t imagine putting anyone else in charge. After waiting 30+ years to find the right person to start a family, or find the time and money to be a single mom, we want to fully embrace the experience.
But the reality of raising a family is that it’s expensive. Someone has to pay for diapers and doctor visits. So work we must. Millennial moms have the right idea. Stories of their unwillingness to compromise and take a job that’s okay instead of awesome are the first step to owning an incredible future. Gen X and Gen Y moms are catching up with this savvy crew, and adopting this attitude of “it has to work for me.”
We can all take a page from this approach to managing our post-kid careers with this attitude; sheepishly having to ask a boss or co-workers for permission to be a great mom stinks. In our hearts, we know we can give our family the best and still deliver a great presentation, or a fantastic sales plan. We just need options. The trouble is, most workplaces aren’t structured for motherhood.
The good news is you can create a career that works for you. That’s what being a Mom Boss is all about; it all starts with getting out your stroller and heading to the playground.
Playgrounds are ripe with promise and networking opportunities. That’s where I hatched my business plans and started to dream big about my future company. With one eye on my daughter’s progress digging and re-digging trenches in a sand pit, my mind wandered to what was next. Finding work that allowed me to be incredibly engaged with my family and financially successful… that was my end goal. It wasn’t a company or brand I longed to work for, it was myself.
I’m lucky to live in a city that supports female start-ups. In New York City, 21 percent of all start-ups are women-run. That’s well ahead of the national average *3. Zoom in even more on Google maps to my borough in NYC, and things get even more interesting. Brooklyn is blessed with the highest percentage of female CEOs in the nation. Where I live, 28 percent of start-ups are female-led. No wonder I love Brooklyn so much!
When I settled in to Brooklyn over a decade ago, it had an indie vibe to it; the parents I met wanted to do things on their own terms. All this energy of acceptance and possibility rubbed off on me. At first, I thought it was just a Brooklyn thing. Visit any Brooklyn playground and you’re likely to be surrounded by women who are passionate about raising children (I know the sitcoms sure like to make fun of our earnest efforts to recycle and raise self-advocating kids!). The Brooklyn parks also happen to be populated with talented, educated, savvy businesswomen brimming with possibility.
Living where I do, surrounded by female awesomeness and risk-takers, at first I felt like I was in a little bubble. I thought the self-selecting group of moms in my tribe was rare. Our neighborhood seemed to be full of women who were drawn to Brooklyn’s slightly less Type-A feel. The focus wasn’t so much on accumulating wealth and status, as it was on carving out an authentically happy life. Why are we in a playground and not a boardroom or corner office? My peers are unwilling to compromise family for the traditional trappings of success and how families should operate.
Turns out it’s not just a Brooklyn thing and it’s not just an NYC thing. As I started to get deeper into the digital community and my network expanded, I identified Mom Bosses everywhere. Mom Boss hotbeds are popping up in Utah, Silicon Valley, and Washington D.C. — all hubs of creative energy and mom entrepreneurs. The movement is spreading, and it’s time to share the secret sauce —time to encourage more women to take the leap.
The more I talk to women and interact with them on my social media accounts, the more I hear the cries of, “I want this too!” Moms across the country, and around the world, are conflicted and constrained by work/life issues.
MBAs, JDs, women who managed millions of dollars in sales or hundreds of employees, continue to step off a traditional career path to raise a family. Sure, modern parents are figuring out ways to split the workload and shift our priorities, but let’s be realistic: while modern parenting is certainly becoming more equitable, women still are far and away the primary caregivers when it comes to raising kids. And that’s not even taking into account all the single mothers who don’t even have an option of picking who stays home to watch baby, and who gets to work. They have to pick BOTH.
The pressure to work and raise children isn’t just about answering the question of who’s the lead parent. It’s also a question of whose career can take a hit. Many of my peers decided that since they were on a path to have multiple kids, the on-again off-again schedule of pregnancy and maternity leave left them feeling like there wasn’t a path for them.
Less than 5 percent of women hold Fortune 500 CEO roles*1. Things aren’t any better in the ranks of top law firms. Raise your hand if you worked at one of these places and are surprised.
Anyone? Anyone? No, I didn’t think so. If you’re a mom, you likely know why: Asking for permission to breastfeed, or to attend a pre-school interview, or an appointment with one of the multitude of specialists children need to see is degrading and disheartening. Mom Bosses don’t ask for time off, they know they’ve earned it. Reclaiming how and where you spend your precious time is an incredible gift.
LeanIn.org tells us 43 percent of highly qualified women with children are leaving careers or off-ramping for a period of time.*2 I bow to the 57 percent of my friends who are doing it all in a structured environment — Momtrends was started to support them. We develop content for women without the time and energy to stay up to speed on the latest trends. Momtrends.com is predominantly read by working moms. Our team strives to curate the best of the best for them. I want my sisters busting the glass ceiling to succeed as much as anyone else. Here’s to systemic change for women! In the meantime, I want to make sure that talented moms know they’ve got options.
Mom Boss life is for the 43 percent of women who are like me. They are smart, qualified, and ready to work hard. If companies won’t change, the women running them will. We know that women are incredibly adept at change. Show me any woman with young kids, and I’ll show you someone that knows how to handle a curveball! Heck, we can change our bodies into baby-carrying vessels, a new job is nothing!
Plan A is change the system. More power to the women doing that. Plan B is make a new system. That’s where Mom Bosses are placing bets.
“When opportunity doesn’t present
itself, it’s time to make your own luck.”
Why the rise of the Mom Boss? Because businesses aren’t changing quickly enough. Moms are taking their talents and finding a new playing field; a field where merit and smarts matter more than office politics and posturing.
Turns out we’re really good at being bosses. We’ve always been amazing at building communities, support networks, and, of course, families.
It’s no surprise we’re also good at running businesses. We share, build, create, and work really, really hard.
Don’t fear the unknown too much. We’ve got this. We already know how to build a network, prioritize, and set goals.
