and you're just about out of patience, chances are it's because you're overtired and chances are you know it. But the three- or four-year-old who's cranky or racing around the house out of control is probably also overtired but almost certainly doesn't recognize it.
Fortunately you do. If your son or daughter is showing every sign of being overtired, you, at least, know what the matter is—and what the solution is. After he has his nap, things will get better.
You can help your cause along by taking the following steps:
1 Try to put him in for his nap at the same time every day. It helps to establish a routine. If your child knows naptime isn't “negotiable,” he'll be less likely to try to fight it. If 1:00 or 2:00 or just after lunch is naptime every day, your child will know that it's naptime and he's expected to go inside and lie down and close his eyes. Making one of the activities in this book part of a pre-nap routine should help. If the child knows the routine involves something enjoyable and is not just a boring, loss-of-playtime nap, he's more likely to be acquiescent.Do not, however, be such a slave to routine that you go to either of the two extremes. If it's fifteen minutes before your child's usual naptime but he's clearly tired, it won't throw his whole routine off if you put him in for his nap fifteen minutes early today. On the other hand, if you have company whom your child is involved with and you know they're going to leave soon, it's better to put your child in for his nap fifteen minutes or half an hour late than to try to break up his visit with his cousin and force him to go lie down. Routine is a good thing; but so is a reasonable amount of flexibility.
2 Limit her intake of sugars and other stimulants in the hour or so before naptime. Though science is still not in complete accord about the role sugar plays in turning kids into whirlwinds, more scientists and doctors seem to believe the theory than not; what's the harm in playing safe? I don't suppose a dish of chocolate pudding is going to totally ruin her chances of falling asleep or even settling down and trying, but does she really need that candy bar or glass of soda before her nap? It can wait until afterward.
3 Speaking of waiting till afterward, in extreme cases you can always try promising him something good—a sweet or a story, a game, or something else he enjoys—if he naps or at least stays in bed for a set amount of time. Okay, this is bribery, but you know what? Bribery's been around for so long because bribery works. And if your child is so nap-resistant that the only way to get him to lie down is to promise him a treat for afterward, you can promise him something minimal—or something you were going to give him anyhow. As long as you don't use bribery to get him to do every single thing you want, from cleaning his room to taking his vitamins to being nice to his siblings, there's no harm in occasional bribes.
4 Right after lunch is often a good time to put a child in for a nap. The body is more sluggish anyhow since it's busy digesting food and she's less likely to be filled with enough energy to run around the block forty times. As a result, she'll probably be more likely to lie down without resisting. Also, if she's just been busy with lunch you're not interrupting her in the middle of a fun game, an interesting TV show, or some other activity she's resistant to being taken away from.
5 Draw the blinds when you put him in. Many kids are perfectly capable of sleeping in broad daylight, but others aren't. Too, if his room is on the first floor or otherwise has a view visible from his bed—even if it's only of a tree full of robins and squirrels—you'll eliminate distractions and give him one less reason to fight to keep his eyes open. Also a darkened room is reminiscent of nighttime and suggests his closing his eyes and drifting off. It's subtle but it's valuable.
6 Make naptime comforting. When she was an infant you probably put her in for naps with a bottle and perhaps a stuffed animal. As she grew a little older, she probably still took a stuffed animal with her, and perhaps a “blankie.” Now that she's three or four, she may no longer have a “blankie” (though if she does, by all means let her take it in for naps) but she can still take a stuffed animal to bed for naps. And it wouldn't hurt to cover her with a blanket for that secure, protected feeling it gives, even if the room temperature doesn't require it. In fact, a special “nap blanket” or “nap quilt” can reinforce the idea that now it's naptime.Some parents go so far as to put the child in her p.j.s and under the covers for a nap. While this does reinforce the idea that sleep is expected, most parents think it's not necessary. Simply lying on the bed—in clothes—is good enough, though lying under a blanket or other covering can be helpful.
But, for a while, you can mandate a “quiet time,” simply a rest period even if he doesn't literally fall asleep. If he lies down, rests, and relaxes, that still accomplishes some good in giving his body a chance to catch up. And it accomplishes some good in giving you a break too.
Tell him you don't necessarily expect him to sleep, but you do want him to rest. The thinking activities described in the chapter “Travels to the Lands of Imagination and Conceptualization,” while offered here as a means to get the child settled into bed and into a relaxed state prior to napping, will also serve well in giving him something pleasant to keep his mind occupied while he rests.
While we're on the subject of napping vs. resting and eventually giving up the practice altogether, let's talk about the child who says she's too old for a nap or who simply can't sleep in the daytime anymore. If she says she's too old to nap, she may be telling the truth—or she may simply be trying to grow up quickly. Despite the sentiments of Peter Pan and his band of lost boys who proclaimed they didn't ever want to grow up, most kids are very eager to be “big kids” and then eventually grownups. And if Kim up the street or friend Michael's older brother Jerry no longer nap because they're “too old for that,” not napping may seem like a delightfully grown-up concept.
But there comes a time when a child truly does outgrow the need to nap. It usually isn't something that happens overnight. The child may start waking up sooner after lying down for a nap or having more trouble falling asleep at naptime, as well as perhaps being more resistant to the idea of going in for a nap at all. But, at least at first, there will still be days when he needs a nap—and gets oh-so-cranky or out of control if he doesn't have one. Try to get him to at least lie down for a simple rest period, at least for a few more months.
Those naptimes of hers—even if they're now just rest times—are helpful to her, and are equally helpful to you. But take heart—when she does give up naps and resting altogether, you'll probably be able to get her in for bed a little earlier at night. You can even use that as an actual bargain: “You're old enough that I'll let you skip your nap. But you're going to have to go to bed half an hour/fifteen minutes earlier.”
But for as long as your child is young enough, he's going to need naps. The purpose of this book is to make naptime easier—a part of the day that the child will at least accept even if not actively look forward to and a part of the day that you won't have to dread. Getting him in for a nap may offer you a break, but it hardly seems worth it if it's preceded by twenty minutes of resistance, of begging and arguing and “I'm not tired!” and “Please let me play for ten minutes more!” and possibly even angry screaming and stamping.
Besides all the suggestions I've already made, what may be the best suggestion of all—and it's the crux of this book—is to tempt her to bed for her nap with an activity that's relaxing and soothing and may help make it easier for her to sleep. And because these activities are fun, they can help persuade her to get onto the bed, where the activity is to take place.
Parents
