level of wisdom. In the same way, as we review our unique spiritual past, we are better able to heal our “spiritual wounds” and face the future with more understanding.
To a large extent, you and I are a product of our childhood conditioning, yet when we see something in ourselves that we don't like, it's easy to feel guilty and ashamed. Likewise, when other people do things that annoy us, our compassion and tolerance can go right out the window. Exploring childhood roots of behavior can bring about an increased level of compassion. It becomes clearer why we behave the way we do and why others behave the way they do. As we become more aware of our conditioning, it's easier to break free of our limiting judgments and beliefs.
The questions that follow are for helping you to understand your unique spiritual history. As with all the questions in this book, you may wish to have a friend ask you the questions rather than simply answer them to yourself. Telling a friend about your childhood spiritual memories is tantamount to “spiritual psychotherapy.” In some cases, answering these questions could bring up strong feelings, memories, and insights. Be willing to take the time you need to assimilate whatever thoughts or revelations arise.
1. What was the very first notion of God you remember having as a child?
2. What did your parents directly or indirectly influence you to believe about God?
3. what religion, if any, do you identify with the most? Why?
When I was about seven years old, I became intensely afraid of dying. I would lie awake and think about how I might die during the night and then be gone for all of eternity. Once I could take it no longer, I told my mom about my fears. My mother had always been skeptical about God, but at that moment I needed something to believe in. As I sobbed my fears to her, she compassionately explained that there was a prayer I could say to God that would help. The prayertwas: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to God my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray to God my soul to take.” That was the first prayer I ever said. And my prayer was answered in that my fears of dying disappeared. To this day, I pinpoint that moment with my “nonspiritual” mother as the beginning of my spiritual quest. Thanks, Mom.
4. Did you pray as a child? Why or why not?
5. How are your spiritual beliefs similar to those of your parents?
6. How are your spiritual beliefs different from those of your parents?
7. How is your relationship with God similar to the relationship you had with your parents when you were young?
8. What was the most negative experience you can remember as a child that affected how you view religion or spirituality?
9. What was the most positive experience you can remember as a child that affected how you view religion or spirituality?
10. Were you required to go to a religious school of some kind? If so, how did that impact how you felt about God and religion?
11. As a child, what were you led to believe would happen to you after you died?
One day when playing baseball with a bunch of friends, I hit my head on the ground when diving for a fly ball. Soon thereafter, I couldn't remember anything about who I was, where I was, or even my own name. Physically, I felt fine; I just didn't know anything about myself. As friends escorted me to the doctor's office, I asked them questions about myself. Because I felt no attachment to the person known as Jonathan, I asked very personal questions, such as: What am I normally like to be around? and, What are my strengths? What do you see as my weaknesses? It was fascinating to hear my friends answer these questions so honestly. Since I didn't identify (at the time) with being Jonathan, I was able to listen fully to what my friends had to say. Their feedback was extremely helpful in getting an accurate picture of myself from the viewpoint of others. Perhaps you can ask a trusted friend the same questions.
12. What would you say are your spiritual weaknesses?
13. What have you considered to be your spiritual strengths?
14. As a child, what were you led to believe about other religions?
15. In your family and religion, what were you taught was God's way of viewing you when you “sinned” or did something “wrong”?
16. How has what you were led to believe about God when you were a child affected your relationship with God today?
4
WHY DO YOU THINK
Why have you come to Earth? Do you remember? Why have you taken birth? Do you remember?
—John Astin
For many years, I was part of a group in which the leader would sometimes select a person to give a spontaneous forty-minute talk on spirituality. We never knew who was going to be chosen, so it made no sense to prepare beforehand. Whenever it was my turn, I would nervously stand up in front of the thirty or so people and just begin talking from my heart. I usually had no idea what I was going to say, but somehow it always ended up sounding surprisingly coherent and powerful. To the group's amazement, no matter who stood up to speak, great words of wisdom and inspiration would flow. From this experience, I realized that we are all a lot wiser than we're aware of consciously. If given a chance, we can tune in to a storehouse of inner wisdom.
With the questions in this chapter, you'll be given an opportunity to tap into your own storehouse of wisdom. Often, we doubt our understanding, and thereby fail to expound on the wisdom that could benefit ourselves and others. We look to “experts,” such as priests, rabbis, or people who have written books to tell us what we already know in our soul. Yet when we begin to have faith in our own understanding, we can avoid the trap of always looking outside ourselves for answers to our own personal questions.
In one of Bill Cosby's early comedy albums, he does a skit in which he describes how, in college, he was dating a very intelligent woman who would frequently contemplate the question: Why is there air? Mr. Cosby, a physical education major at the time, thought the answer to the question was totally obvious: to blow up basketballs, to blow ._up volleyballs. As you can see from this example, questions can be answered at various levels. With each new level, questions can tune us in to a whole new perception of reality.
As you answer the questions in this chapter, you might try a couple of simple techniques for helping you tap into your innate wisdom. First, as suggested earlier, try pretending you're an enlightened being who really knows the answers to these questions. This can help you past any tendency you may have to doubt yourself. Second, try speaking for at least two or three minutes on each question. Even if you don't know what you're going to say, just keep talking. Don't try to quickly come up with the “correct” answer; rather, use each question as a catalyst for exploring deep spiritual and philosophical issues. Amid the trivial things you may say will be pearls of wisdom.
You may also choose to use these questions as a topic of discussion with family or friends. When doing this, simply ask the question of the entire group and see what each person says. Encourage people to speak from their heart-not to convince others of their point of view, but to share and develop their own wisdom. Allow silence to exist until you or others feel moved to speak. Sometimes, a very creative and thought-provoking interchange can occur by building on what other people in the group have said. Two
