Thinking Inward
Introspective reflections help us to engage our emotions. Reflecting on a previous experience is more meaningful when it connects to our emotions that we felt at the time. A deeper understanding of our own feelings and emotions leads to a higher level of learning.
Questions that lead to an intrinsic connection:
• Why was this project or experience meaningful to you?
• What are your personal beliefs regarding this learning experience?
• Do you agree or disagree with the way you learned this? Why or why not?
• What differences has the learning made in your intellectual, personal, or ethical development?
• What were the highest and lowest emotional moments in your learning experience?
III. Thinking Outward
Reflecting on the world around us requires an extended point of view. Identifying the attitudes and opinions of another person, such as a family member, a friend, an author, a co-worker, or a person from another culture, leads us to further consideration of our own belief systems. The value in these contrasts and comparisons of beliefs is that it causes us to either expand our personal point of view or become more affirmed in our reasons for believing the way we do. Reflecting outwardly may lead to new ideas or perspectives on our experiences.
Questions that encourage extrinsic reflection:
• How are you looking at this topic? Can you identify another point of view?
• How might a person from another culture or religion look at this?
• Which of these viewpoints makes the most sense?
• Is your current concept about a topic causing problems for others?
• Does the problem or question in your mind have historical, ethical, scientific, political, or economic considerations?
IV. Thinking Forward
As we reflect on how we would do things differently in the future, we approach learning with added potential for insight. A deeper level of learning occurs with hindsight, along with gained wisdom and an enriched perspective.
Questions that lead to understanding future implications:
• If you had chosen to do “x” or not to do “x,” what might have happened?
• How significant are the outcomes of either direction?
• If you had the chance to do this again, what changes would you make?
• How might this project or experience shape the goals that you set for your future?
• How might what you have learned affect your future learning decisions?
It is my hope that these four dimensions of reflection will add to your body of knowledge about your past experiences and increase your wisdom and understanding as you reflect, journal, and pray about your life story.
Chapter 1
Desperate
Every bone in my body trembled. Shivers from the tension and the cold pulsed through my veins. My coat was still inside. With my arms wrapped around my body, I crouched as low as I could go, hiding behind a car in the parking lot of a crowded nightclub. I tried to tell myself that he wouldn’t be able to find me there. My eyes peered uselessly into the darkness, looking for a shadow I didn’t want to see.
How did I end up in this terrifying place?
The car belonged to a classmate of mine from university who had given me a ride. She was still in the bar along with the other friends who had come with us.
How long will it take for them to come out? Am I safe here in the parking lot, or is this the most dangerous place to be? Will he find me here?
The heavy wooden door of the club creaked a threat every time it opened and closed. Footsteps crunched on the pavement. I tried to focus on my plan of action. I needed to think of a way to protect myself if he found me.
I prayed with desperation.
Lord, please protect me. Please keep me safe from him. I don’t know why I came here, Lord. Please help me to get home safely.
The plans for the evening sounded like fun the day before. Two classmates from one of my university classes invited me to a party. I didn’t know them outside of class but sat next to them in a mandatory course, bonding with them over our shared sense of humour. We kept ourselves engaged in the boring class by counting the mispronounced repetitions of our foreign professor with a thick accent. We created a code to decipher his poor pronunciations, rolled our eyes at each other, and snickered silently during the lectures.
When we chatted after class, I let it slip that my usual gang of friends had gone home for the weekend and I had no plans for Saturday evening. They convinced me to come to a “fun” party with them where many other classmates would be hanging out. They asked for my address and generously offered to give me a ride.
As soon as I got to the party Saturday evening, I realized I had made a fateful choice. The putrid smoky air reeked of marijuana, liquor, and drugs of every kind. I tried to stick close to my classmates, but it didn’t take long for them to forget about me. They disappeared into the crowd diving into the alcohol and drugs that were available. I noticed some familiar faces from my classes and started awkward conversations with a few who seemed sober. Music blared, pounding the beat into our heads.
A few hours dragged by, and then the party was on the move. The gang of partyers decided they needed more room to dance, so they were heading to a popular nightclub.
If only I’d brought my own car.
My classmates ignored my plea for a ride back to my place and dragged me along to the bar. My excuses fell flat since they needed me to be their designated driver.
It was there, on the dance floor of the nightclub, where I found myself in an unexpected and terrifying trap. It started with an invitation that seemed innocent. A good-looking, strong, athletic guy came up to our table and insisted that I dance with him. I had no interest in this dancing partner, but he was not the type to take “no, thank you” for an answer. He kept insisting I dance with him, so I consented. Even though the first few dances were fairly harmless, something about my partner started to make me feel uncomfortable. I was grateful that the bar would close soon, and I could get out of there.
After several songs, the lights dimmed, and the music slowed down for a more intimate dance. I politely thanked my partner and tried to leave the dance floor. He grabbed my arm and yanked me back towards him. He squeezed his arms around me in a tight grip that wouldn’t allow me to move. I struggled, but he pulled my body more tightly against his. He pressed his lips into my ear and spoke a claim on me that sent shivers of dread into my body and soul.
“You’re mine tonight, bitch.”
I danced the last slow dance in a frozen, rigid state, firmly stuck in the grip of my aggressive partner. I tried to get a glimpse of my classmates, but they were lost in
