A Saturnalia of Bunk. H. L. Mencken

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A Saturnalia of Bunk - H. L. Mencken

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wastes money in paying unjust taxes, his conduct is just as much to be reprehended as if he lavished money upon chorus girls or games of chance.

      And beside the obvious overcharge as in this case, there is also, as a rule, a more subtle overcharge. It is represented by the difference between the actual running expenses of the Government and the sum extorted from the taxpayers. For example, the budget of Baltimore for 1912 provides for an expenditure of $23,580,038.95, and of this great sum more than $15,000,000 will have to be raised by direct taxes. But a considerable portion of the money thus raised, it is plain, will be wasted. The lighting department, to begin with, will spend thousands of dollars in an effort to make all Baltimore as hideous as the front of a moving-picture parlor—an indecency opposed instinctively by every truly civilized man. Again, the City Council will gobble $65,000—money for which the taxpayer will get not a cent of return. Yet again, hundreds of thousands of dollars will go into the hands of the work-shirking ward heelers employed in the various departments and on various public works. Yet again, other thousands will be wasted upon political contracts and upon silly schemes for augmenting the glory of this or that politician.

      Is it fair to ask the self-respecting property owner to pay for all this debauchery? Of course it isn’t. He is responsible for his just share of the legitimate expenses of the city government, but he is certainly not bound to pay more. When, in violation of his common rights, he is forced to make that extra payment—when, in brief, he is robbed by legal process for the benefit of loafers and parasites—then he is certainly justified in opposing ingenuity to extortion and in thus saving his money. In other words, it is perfectly moral for him, being unable to procure a fair reduction of the tax rate, to procure, by whatever means may be at hand, a reduction of his assessment.

      Thus the ethics of it. In practice, the honorable taxpayer is confronted by the difficulty of determining just how much of the money annually raised by taxation is actually needed for the conduct of the government, and how much is merely coveted by political bravos and thimble-riggers.5 In the case of Maryland State taxes, as we have seen, he is justified in chalking off 35 per cent at the start. But how much of the remainder is really needed? Here opinions must differ widely. One man whom I consulted this morning ventured the view that half is well spent and half is wasted. Another put the well-spent portion at 60 per cent. A third put it at 40 per cent. A fourth insisted that it could not be greater than 30 per cent.

      In the case of city taxes the same difficulty arises. There are persons who believe that of every dollar entering the City Hall, 75 cents is wasted, while others hold that a full half of it is well spent. My own opinion, based upon 40 years of close study, is that the proportion of avoidable waste is commonly over-estimated. In some of the city departments, I believe, not 20 per cent. of the money spent is actually thrown away, and in none is the proportion greater than 60 per cent. Perhaps 33-1/3 per cent. would be a fair average. That is to say, it is fair to assume that, of every dollar collected in taxes, 66-2/3 cents is spent with reasonable honesty and intelligence.

      Thus the taxpayer is justified in “swearing off” 33-1/3 per cent. of his assessment, or, to be more accurate, in concealing 33-1/3 per cent. of his property. So much for city taxes. When it comes to State taxes he is justified in chalking off 35 per cent. at the start, and 33-1/3 per cent. afterward—or 68-2/3 per cent. in all. But inasmuch as the assessments for city and State taxes are levied together and are identical, he must strike an average between the two reductions. What the average should be I do not profess to determine. My private opinion—a mere opinion, of course—is that 50 per cent. would be about right.

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