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Bullying in the
Churches
Stephen Finlan
Bullying in the Churches
Copyright © 2015 Stephen Finlan. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions. Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.
Cascade Books
An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers
199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3
Eugene, OR 97401
www.wipfandstock.com
ISBN 13: 978-1-62564-722-1
EISBN 13: 978-1-4982-7062-5
Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
Finlan, Stephen.
Bullying in the churches / Stephen Finlan.
X + Y p. ; 23 cm. Includes bibliographical references and indexes.
ISBN 13: 978-1-62564-722-1
1. Bullying in churches—Prevention. 2. Conflict management. I. Title.
BF637 .B85 F55 2015
Manufactured in the U.S.A. 02/10/2015
Abbreviations
Col Colossians
1 Cor First Corinthians
2 Cor Second Corinthians
Eph Ephesians
ESV English Standard Version
Gal Galatians
KJV King James Version
Matt Matthew
NASB New American Standard Bible
NCV New Century Version
NEB New English Bible
NRSV New Revised Standard Version
Phil Philippians
Phlm Philemon
Prov Proverbs
Ps Psalm
Pss Psalms
Rom Romans
RSV Revised Standard Version
SBL Society of Biblical Literature
SBLDS Society of Biblical Literature Dissertation Series
Wis Wisdom of Solomon
Introduction
Many of us were inspired to preach the gospel, and we committed our lives to a church, only to find out, upon seeing the inner workings of our church, that it was not based on a healthy foundation. How is it that the place where we go for healing and inspiration has become a center of bullying and power grabbing, at many levels within the organization? How has the place that is supposed to show Jesus’ spirit in action become the home of dishonesty?
Do any of these stories resonate with your experience?
As part of her seminary education, a student is given a supervised ministry assignment in a large inner-city church. She arrives with anticipation and hope. Time passes. The senior pastor does not set up the supervisory committee that is supposed to meet with the student until near the end of the first semester, and the committee’s report is not finished by the seminary’s due date. When the student asks the senior pastor about it, she is told “You are not so important; you are just a small piece within this church. The paperwork will get done.” The report in the second semester is also not turned in by the deadline, and when the student asks the pastor about it, she is yelled at.
A student finishes his master of divinity degree and gets his first assignment as an assistant pastor. One of his duties is to lead a Bible study. He asks the participants of his Bible study to write some responses to a passage from Isaiah, but the activity is interrupted by the senior pastor, who stops people from writing and announces, “They don’t want to write about that; just ask them general questions.” When the assistant pastor goes to the pastor a few days later to ask why that was done, the senior pastor says, “These people don’t do biblical analysis. You don’t know what they can do. I know.” The pastor then asks to see the assistant pastor’s teaching plan for the Bible study, and tosses out most of what the assistant had planned, insisting that this congregation does not want to analyze what Isaiah said.
A pastor organizes a choir among poor and homeless clients of the church, and they perform a skit with music on Sunday. At the coffee hour following the service, some congregation members make sarcastic comments, even though some of the poor singers are within earshot; one refers sarcastically to the “tuneless choir”; another responds, “or the toothless choir,” and there is some chuckling.
What is wrong with this picture? Why is there bullying and cruelty in the churches? Aren’t we supposed to “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal 6:2), to be “building up the neighbor” (Rom 15:2), and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matt 19:19)?1 Yet, it is likely that everyone who has spent any time in the churches knows that bullying (usually emotional and personal, rather than physical) is quite common in the churches. Wherever there are different levels of power and prestige in a relationship, or where there is competition for power and prestige, there may be bullying—not just on the school yard. It happens in our houses of worship as well.
I intend in this book to look at many aspects of bullying. I will not name names, nor indicate particular denominations, but will draw upon recent experiences people have had in many different Protestant denominations. There are additional and different dynamics in Catholic churches, but someone else needs to write that book.
1. The NRSV is the default translation used.
1 — The Problem and the Response
Biblical Antecedents
Of course, bullying has been around from the beginning. We see it in many Bible stories. Sometimes the reasons for the bullying are given. Joseph’s brothers hated him because he was their father’s favorite, and when he told them his dream, “they hated him even more” (Gen 37:3–5). They thought him arrogant, “this dreamer.” Conspiring to kill him, “they took him and threw him into a pit,” but then settled on merely selling him into slavery (Gen 37:18–19,
