very complicated and difficult for all teenagers, but especially for students on the autism spectrum. Anyone who can remember their own middle school years can remember the angst a teenager goes through developing friendships during those years. Students in middle school are very sensitive to differences as everyone strives to be like everyone else. For socially withdrawn students such as Eric, totally avoiding social situations may be the answer. Eric didn’t mind not having friends or going to parties or the mall. He walked the halls of middle school as one with blinders on, oblivious to the personal relationships and social battles of the teenagers around him. However, other students on the autism spectrum may be very social and want to have friends but struggle with initiating conversations with others. For those students, individual or group therapy that specifically works on social skills can be helpful. There may be appropriate speech, occupational therapy, or autism-related programs in your area that offer social groups. Most public schools do not offer this resource unless they have several included students on the autism spectrum at the school.
Without that resource available from the school, trying to figure out creative ways to work on social skills with Eric within the middle school seemed a waste of time. It was too difficult to find “typical” middleschool-aged kids who were willing to invite him into their world. There were a few students who occasionally helped Eric. But for the most part, it was not a time to look for good role models or students willing to step outside of the group to be friends with someone who was different. I found it more helpful to concentrate on developing social situations for Eric with family and friends outside of school.
During his time in middle school my concerns for Eric were that he would get lost in the shuffle and no one would know if he was being bullied or treated badly by the other students. I was not sure he would be able to defend himself in those situations. Eric had a bad experience in the physical education (PE) class in middle school. I had no idea that things weren’t going well until I asked him how his PE class was going and he frowned as he said, “OK.” When I asked him why he didn’t like his class, he responded that the kids were mean to him there. After further questioning, I discovered that other students were putting their hands on him and being rough with him while in the locker room. After a few minutes of alarm, I made myself calm down enough to call the school and talk to someone about what was happening. We arranged that Eric would not go into the locker room anymore where there was no adult supervision. Although this experience scared me, it taught me that Eric didn’t always know what was important to report to someone. It brought about a good talk between Eric and me about safety and dangerous situations and what information the teachers and his parents needed to know.
Despite the difficulties, the three years of middle school were good for Eric. He learned to be more independent, which was critical for success in high school and college. He adapted to crowds of people and hectic schedules. He got used to following a schedule and became more organized in doing his academic work. As a parent, I learned a great deal too. Not only did I learn about my son’s needs and vulnerabilities, I learned how much he could do. He surprised me with his flexibility and calmness during a time in his life that could have been very stressful.
Toward the end of middle school, we were still not considering college as an option for Eric. Then one day Eric brought home a sign-up sheet for the courses he would be taking in high school. He was not just choosing courses for the following ninth-grade year, but for all four years of high school. The school needed to know what course of study the students would be on: certificate, college, or vocational. For the first time, we had to consider whether college was possible for Eric. So far, Eric was doing well in his academic courses, but he still required quite a bit of help. Hoping that his successes would continue, we made the decision to keep him in college preparatory classes. I had doubts that he would have the grades or standardized test scores to get into a college but I wanted him to continue to be challenged and accomplish all he could. As it turned out, the high school years were an incredible growth period for Eric, academically and socially, and he was going to surprise me again.
| 2 | Strategies for the High School Years |
After surviving the stressful years of middle school, I was hopeful that high school would be easier. The high school Eric would be attending was huge, close to 2000 students. I was worried about the transition to a new school and Eric’s ability to navigate the complicated campus. I knew there would be many students at the high school who had never gone to school with Eric before. I wasn’t sure how accepting they would be. I didn’t know the staff or teachers, didn’t know how involved I could be in advocating for Eric. I was told that there had never been an identified student on the autism spectrum fully included at the school. It looked like we were “paving the way” again.
All students with disabilities at our high school are assigned a case manager. Eric’s case manager called me at home before the beginning of school. She was a special education teacher working primarily with learning disabled students. She would be available to help Eric if needed, and also be a resource for the teachers if they had questions about autism or any problems in the classroom. She also informed me that she had a personal connection to autism, a young grandson on the spectrum. It was a relief to know that she would be at the high school to advocate for Eric and to help him through the transition to high school. There were a number of times in high school when Eric needed to go to her for help. At the beginning of each school year Eric would often need to go to her classroom when he wasn’t sure where he was supposed to be or if he had trouble finding a classroom. If your son or daughter does not have a person assigned to advocate for them at the school, you may be able to find someone on the campus willing to do that for that student. It is also important to find a guidance counselor at the school who can be an advocate for your child. The guidance counselor should have some knowledge about prospective colleges and keep up to date on the various requirements and levels of accommodations that are offered. Connecting with the guidance counselor early in high school can help guide the student through the important process of preparing for the college transition.
Now that we had made the decision to continue on the “college track,” the academics became more important than ever before. I knew that Eric’s grades from that point on counted. Colleges would be looking at his grade point average as well as the difficulty level of the classes he was taking. After years of having to help Eric so much with schoolwork, it was hard for me to imagine him being independent enough to do the academics of high school, let alone college. Eric proved to me very soon after starting high school that he could do the work required with very little help and do it better than I expected. I was beginning to see Eric’s real potential for the first time.
There were several aspects of high school that made things easier for Eric academically. At our particular high school they offered a class called “curriculum enhancement.” Most high schools probably have a class like this but may call it something else. The class was taught by a member of the special education staff, usually a learning disability resource teacher. The class was small and students received instruction to help with organizational and study skills. Most of the class-time students worked on homework and assignments from other classes with help from the teacher if needed. This was a great class for Eric and he took it every year of high school as one of his electives.
The variety of classes offered in high school was also helpful to Eric. He had more choices and could take courses that were centered around his interests. Students on the autism spectrum will most likely do better in a class that involves a student’s interest or is in an area in which the student is particularly knowledgeable. Our high school had a study program for students wanting to go into the animal science field. The animal science courses Eric took counted toward the required hours of science needed for graduation. Because of his interest in animals, these classes were more meaningful to Eric than other kinds of sciences such as chemistry or physics. It also enabled Eric to be in courses with other students with similar interests.
Unlike at middle school, many required courses in high school have different levels of difficulty. For example, a
