the sacraments of the church.
FAITH CAME before understanding. And faith is a gift of God. It cannot be imparted by any other person. I cannot give it to you. Only God.
YOU ARE CERTAINLY going through the sorrowful mysteries. But if you don’t go through them to the glorious, you will be a hollow man, and considered an opportunist and a fraud. I am putting it as strong as I am able, and hate doing it, but to me the faith is the strongest thing in my life and I can never be grateful enough for the joy I have had for the gift of faith, my Catholicism.
LIFE WOULD BE UTTERLY UNBEARABLE if we thought we were going nowhere, that we had nothing to look forward to. The greatest gift life can offer would be a faith in God and a hereafter. Why don’t we have it? Perhaps like all gifts it must be struggled for. “God, I believe” (or rather, “I must believe or despair”). “Help thou my unbelief.” “Take away my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh.”
I wrote the above lines when I felt the urgent need for faith, but there were too many people passing through my life – too many activities – too much pleasure (not happiness).
FAITH, MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD, is a gift. We cannot give it to each other, but certainly we can pray God to give it to others. Péguy* wrote: “When we get to heaven, God is going to say to us, ‘Where are the others?’”
We must not judge the church by the man, by the human element. I must pray for priests, pray for conversions, and I must not seem in my writing to be telling others what to do – but I must be speaking of myself, for my own peace of soul. Not trying for conversions to the church, not proselytizing, but leaving things to God, who wills that all men be saved, and can give his divine life through any channel.
IT IS THE FIRST LETTER OF PETER, chapter 1, which engrosses me, about belief in Jesus – in the power of his holy name. And my own joy and gratitude to him, and the whole problem of faith, which is so precious it must be tried as though by fire. I pray daily for my grandchildren, for my children, that God will draw them to himself, through Jesus, as he has promised. And you know I pray for you.
* Charles Pierre Péguy, 1873–1914, French poet and writer
2
To Live by Faith
Have faith in God. … Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this
mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.
MARK 11:22–23
FAITH IS REQUIRED when we speak of obedience. Faith in a God who created us, a God who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Faith in a God to whom we owe obedience for the very reason that we have been endowed with freedom to obey or disobey. Love, beauty, truth, all the attributes of God which we see reflected about us in creatures, in the very works of man himself, whether it is bridges or symphonies wrought by his hands, fill our hearts with such wonder and gratitude that we cannot help but obey and worship.
Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief. My faith may be the size of a mustard seed, but even so, even aside from its potential, it brings with it a beginning of love, an inkling of love, so intense that human love with all its heights and depths pales in comparison.
Even seeing through a glass darkly makes one want to obey, to do all the Beloved wishes, to follow him to Siberia, to Antarctic wastes, to the desert, to prison, to give up one’s life for one’s brothers since he said, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
“WITHOUT FAITH it is impossible to please God” (Heb. 11:6). Faith that works through love is the mark of the supernatural life. God always gives us a chance to show our preference for him. With Abraham it was to sacrifice his only son. With me it was to give up my married life with Forster. You do these things blindly, not because it is your natural inclination – you are going against nature when you do them – but because you wish to live in conformity with the will of God.
THESE HOT AUGUST DAYS when we are so tired I wake up wondering what we will do in the dead of winter – it seems to get harder in anticipation and yet I know by experience how one should take the hardships as they come, day by day, one by one, rather than look forward, or backward either. To live in the now is to be like little children. To be utterly dependent on our Father is to be like little children.
WE MAY BE LIVING on the verge of eternity – but that should not make us dismal. The early Christians rejoiced to think that the end of the world was near, as they thought. Over and over again, even to the Seventh Day Adventists of our time, people have been expecting the end of the world. Are we so unready to face God? Are we so avid for joys here that we perceive so darkly those to come?
It is hard to think of these things. It is not to be understood; we cannot expect to understand. We must just live by faith, and the faith that God is good, that all times are in his hands, must be tried as though be fire.
THE FIRST JOB of the Christian, it seems to me, is to grow in faith in God – in his power, in the conviction that we are all held in the hollow of his hand. He is our safeguard and defense. This faith we must pray for does away with fear, which paralyzes all effort. Fear of losing a job, of hunger, of eviction, as well as fear of bodily violence and the blows of insult and contempt. Let us respect each other as well as love each other.
I do not want to play down martyrdoms, but to keep in mind always, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” God loves all men. “God wills that all men be saved.” But we have that great and glorious gift of free will, which distinguishes man from the beast, the power of choice, and man often chooses evil because it has the semblance of the good, because it seems to promise happiness.
TO GROW IN FAITH in God, in Christ, in the Holy Spirit, that is the thing. Without him we can do nothing. With him we can do all things.
He will raise up leaders who will know how to combat the secular, or rather how to integrate the spiritual and material, so that life will be a more balanced one of joy and sorrow.
I HAVE HAD SO MANY YEARS of experience of how God takes care of those who trust Him. He is unfailing and will send us what we need. … Sometimes we are driven by circumstances to do what God wants rather than what we want and afterwards know that it is all to the good.
3
Take Heart
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
PSALM 27:14
WITHOUT THE SACRAMENTS of the church, primarily the Eucharist, the Lord’s Supper as it is sometimes called, I certainly do not think that I could go on. I do not always approach it from need, or with joy and thanksgiving. After thirty-eight years of almost daily communion, one can confess to a routine, but it is like a routine of taking daily food. But Jesus himself told us at that last supper, “Do this in memory of me” (Luke 22:19). He didn’t say daily, of course. But he said, “as often as you drink this wine and eat this bread,” we would be doing it in memory of him (1 Cor. 11:25). And this morning I rejoiced to see those words in the Gospel of Saint
