to consider: swimming, reaching into your pockets on hot days
Would you rather…
have the ability to communicate with poodles OR pit bulls?
kittens OR elephants?
socks OR bagels?
Would you rather…
be given life-long “butting in line” privileges
OR
life-long “profanity at any time” privileges?
Would you rather…
have an hour-long chat with your 15-year-old self
OR
with your 60-year-old self?
Things to consider: What would you say? What would you ask?
Would you rather…
be able to cure cases of malaria by holding your hand against the foreheads of the infirmed
OR
be able to telekinetically deliver titty-twisters?
Would you rather…
every time you sneeze, a $20 bill is hidden somewhere in your house
OR
every time you poop, a $100 bill is hidden somewhere inside the BM?
Would you rather…
have the ability to shrink down to one inch in height
OR
the ability to grow to 100 feet in height?
Would you rather…
have a tape measurer tongue
OR
be able to blow into your own body to make it a flotation device?
Would you rather…
have ear speakers that broadcast whatever music you imagine in your head
OR
have the ability to make anyone speak in a Jamaican accent?
Would you rather…
have the ability to control the movements of ants
OR
be able to communicate with birds to direct them exactly where to poop?
Would you rather…
have a pony tail lasso
OR
have elastic testicles which you use like a mace to fight crime?
Would you rather…
have anything you touch turn to gold OR to Silly Putty?
silver OR Nerf?
cheese OR become helium-filled?
Things to consider: touching furniture, pets, family, friends, enemies
THE POO-POO/PEE-PEE PAGE
Would you rather…
poop fragrant potpourri bundles
OR
be able to beam your pee from your bladder to the toilet?
Things to consider: never having to hold it, leaving bathrooms smelling great
Would you rather…
have your poop come out in a perfectly-stacked pyramid of spheres (like cannon balls)
OR
be able to poop complex domino set ups?
Would you rather…
be able to talk to any animal
OR
be able to change into any animal?
Would you rather…
have the ability to see the future, but only one second ahead
OR
have the ability to fly, but only in the inside of airplanes?
Would you rather…
produce fudge in your belly button
OR
be able to fart the tune of any song?
Would you rather…
have the ability to temporarily swap your parents with your friends’ parents
OR
have the ability to temporarily swap facial features with your friends?
Would you rather…
be able to stop and rewind your life
OR
have a cheat code that allows you to jump ahead and skip parts of your life?
Would you rather…
be able to scan documents into your computer with your tongue
OR
be able to weed-whack your lawn with your foot?
Would you rather…
have eyes that can change color to match your outfit
