you will be relaxed throughout the entire conversation.
Another reason it’s difficult to create space packets is because we have been conditioned to feel very strange and uncomfortable if we pause when standing in front of the audience. Part of the discomfort comes from an assumption you make about how the audience will react. If you don’t speak, you suspect that they will think you have lost your train of thought or you are unprofessional and not a very good speaker. However, the opposite is true. When you can stand in stillness, it sends a non-verbal message to the audience that you are not afraid of silence and you are not afraid of the audience. You, not the audience, are in charge of the conversation.
Developing the skill of creating space packets begins with simply being able to stop speaking and pause. Think of it as stepping on the brake to stop the car. Anyone can step on the accelerator, but very few presenters can step on the brake and pause. To put it more bluntly, the issue is not your ability to speak but rather your inability to shut up.
The benefits of pausing and creating space packets between the communication packets are enormous:
• You will make a deeper impression on the audience and therefore be more memorable.
• You will be more entertaining and put on a better show. Ben Kingsley, who won a Best Actor Oscar for his performance as Gandhi, when asked what made him such a successful actor, replied, “I am able to stand in the stillness and pause.”
• You will look more professional and polished. By being able to create space packets, you will differentiate yourself and your company from your competitors. There is a saying in sales: Differentiate or Die. What one thing makes you different from the rest of the herd? You create space in your presentations.
• You will convey the impression of caring that the audience understands the communication by giving them time to understand an idea before going on to the next communication. They will feel enriched because you are allowing them to “eat the data food.”
• The only time you can consciously relax your body is when you are not speaking. If you are not relaxed, it will send out a tense vibration to the audience and they will become uncomfortable. However, when you are relaxed, it sends out a vibration that will relax the audience. Being able to create a space packet in front of the audience is like stepping into a Jacuzzi. It is very relaxing.
I remember a physics class I took in high school in which the teacher used a fish tank full of water in one of the experiments. Two balls were suspended in the tank. One was connected to a motor, which made the ball go up and down. The second was suspended by a rubber band. When the ball connected to the motor started to move, it sent a wave through the water. The other ball was soon vibrating at the same frequency as the motorized ball; when the motorized ball was turned off, the ball on the rubber band also stopped. During a presentation, you are the ball with the motor. If you are relaxed, you send out a relaxed vibration; if you’re tense or nervous, you send out a nervous vibration. It is only when you pause that you can relax your body.
• Energy flows smoother through a relaxed physical body. Imagine a garden hose that is crimped. The flow of water is reduced. When the garden hose is uncrimped, the flow of water increases.
• The only time you can consciously determine if you have a solid, grounded connection to the floor and release any muscle tensions is during a pause. Having your body grounded in the space has the same benefits as grounding the flow of electricity. It gives you stability and a smooth transfer of your energy to the audience. I call this a body check. When you first start body checking, you become aware that your consciousness has not been connected to your body. As a presenter, you have been unconscious of your body. But your body is the physical machine that is delivering the communication packets and space packets. The more aware you are of the machine, the more body control you will have, and the more effective the delivery of the information will be.
• The only time you can take a deep broadband dive into your database of knowledge and pull up the appropriate next thought is during a pause. When presenters are not pausing, they are not thinking on their feet. They are talking from surface memory or reading PowerPoint slides.
Communication that comes from the depths of your stillness has greater impact than communication that comes from the ripples on the surface. I refer to this as the ability to generate the conversation. The quality or taste of data that is generated from below the surface is far more enjoyable for the audience than data regurgitated from sketchy surface memory.
• The only time you can take a look at your game plan for the conversation and make sure you are still on track is when you pause. If you use written notes, you can quickly check where you are in the conversation.
• The only time you can take a conscious breath is when you pause. Breathing is one of the basic ways to keep your consciousness centered and your body relaxed. You’ll often notice that when you take a deep breath, the audience breathes with you.
• When you pause, you are not speaking, and if you are not speaking, then you are listening. You are listening not only to your body but to the space around you. As you become more aware of that space, you will increase your appropriateness and manifest your intention.
• During the pause, you are giving the audience a chance to absorb, digest, and appreciate the information (data food) you have served them. I call this creating a space for understanding.
• During the pause, you can see the space and the things in space. You can do an agenda check to see if you are covering everything.
• The ability to pause and create space allows you to think about how you want to create and package the next expression of yourself. What words, video, voice, mass, and two-dimensional tools do you want to use to get your thoughts across to the listener?
Not allowing the audience to digest the data is rude and socially inept. Because you’ve allowed the audience to process the data food, they will recognize you as a professional speaker who cares about their understanding of the data.
In the IT world, it is not the quality of the food but rather the quality of the service that counts. The question is “Are you delivering the data at a one-star level of service or at a five-star level of service?”
Creating space when pausing moves you toward providing a five-star level of service. Pausing before speaking creates the impression that what you say is thoughtful, which makes listeners pay more attention.
How long do you sustain the pause? Imagine your communication is like dropping a rock into a pond. The rock hits the surface of the water and sends out waves. You sustain the pause until all the waves have ceased and the quiet calm of the water has returned. The larger the rock—that is, the more significant the point—the longer the pause should be. As you move into being present with the audience, you will know how long to pause because you will be aware of the time it’s taking the audience to absorb and digest your point.
Word Symbol
All words are symbols that represent a thought. In other words, a symbol is a thing that represents something else. For example, when we say the word table, we mean a flat piece of wood with four legs that we can rest things on. When you speak, you are encapsulating thoughts with word symbols and sending those symbols across the wireless space.
The accuracy of the word symbols you use is essential.
Although most people believe they have a clear understanding of the words they use, if they looked up some of these words in a dictionary, they would discover that even if their
