in there.
it pays.”
and so many mornings, i’d say,
“mom, i don’t want to go to school today.”
and she’d push me out the door
with my brother and sister and say,
“don’t you kids know
that life is made up of ordinary days
when there’s no one to pat you on the back?
when there is no one to praise you?
when there’s no one to honor you?
when there’s no one to see how brave and noble you are?
almost all of life is made up of ordinary days
and it’s how you live your ordinary days
that determines whether or not you have big moments.
get out there
and make something of your ordinary days.”
and i’d stumble out the door in tears.
And I still remember the last day in my large high school.
my sister and i were on the platform to receive little awards
but a lot of kids could make a’s.
and we were getting scholarships
but whoever heard of northwest nazarene college?
and when they would make the announcements,
the students would give slight applause
and they would go on
and then the principal called jan and me.
he said,
“we’re hindus and buddhists,
but these two girls came
and brought their God to our campus
they’ve changed our world.”
and i can only remember the applause
and that it never seemed to end.
i was speechless.
i can remember the tears dripping off my chin,
inside i was whispering
“daddy you were right.
through the thousands of ordinary days
when i wanted to give up, it paid.
it pays to be true.
it pays to follow Jesus.”
and i went to college
and faced good days and ordinary days
but when i was a junior,
it came to me.
“ann, either you are going to follow
Jesus Christ to the end
or not follow Him at all.”
after all,
i was an honor student.
i was becoming somebody on campus.
i had big dreams.
i had high hopes.
follow Jesus to the end?
what if i never had a dream come true?
what if nothing special ever happened?
nothing i ever loved ever came my way?
would i follow Jesus to the end,
if everything i loved was taken away?
would i make that kind of decision to follow?
for you it might have been an easy decision.
for me it was six long months—
ugly months—
of struggle.
“Jesus, how can i?”
‘til i remember kneeling by the couch
in the tv room
and piling into my hands all that i loved
and knowing what it meant for the first time,
“yes, Lord, from now to the end i will follow you.”
yes, Lord
to anything
anytime, anywhere.
yes, Lord—if you’ll go with me.
that was really the turning point in my life.
i chose on my own
to follow Jesus to the end.
i don’t know what it will mean to follow to the end.
i have a feeling it’s a long road,
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