Renee Greene
Subject: Re: NuttyNat Nonsense
Oh no, what happened?
From: Renee Greene – September 4, 2013 – 10:22 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: NuttyNat Nonsense
We went to "The Today Show." Because of 9/11, everyone has to sign in to security, show ID, give a blood sample, etc. It's strict. We go to check-in and the security guard asks her to sign in with her name and address. This is what transpires.
Security Guard: Ma'am, I need you to sign in with your name and address please.
Diva: I don't know.
Security Guard: You don't know where you live?
Diva: No. I have people for that.
Then she snapped her fingers and one of her six (six!) entourage members came forward and filled in the missing address.
From: Shelley Manning – September 4, 2013 – 10:28 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: NuttyNat Nonsense
Another reason I HATE celebrities. I read once that the more keys you have, the less important you are. And vice versa. Donald Trump doesn't carry any keys because he has people to do everything for him. Whereas his building janitor has keys for every room in the building. Seems to me, Donny is the one mired in filth and shit which makes him low man on my totem pole of import.
From: Renee Greene – September 4, 2013 – 10:30 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: NuttyNat Nonsense
I love it! I miss these conversations. When can we talk?
From: Ashley Gordon – September 9, 2013 – 9:32 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: My apologies
Sorry I snapped at you when you called this morning. It's just that Greg and I were arguing when the phone rang because Siobhan….oh, I just can't say it.
From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2013 – 9:34 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: My apologies
Oh, come on. What did my sweet angel do?
From: Ashley Gordon – September 9, 2013 – 9:36 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My apologies
She's no sweet angel. That's for sure. She…I am shuddering just thinking about it…she removed her diaper this morning and proceeded to fingerpaint all over the mattress and wall with her own feces.
From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2013 – 9:37 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: My apologies
LOL! So she's a Poop Picasso.
From: Ashley Gordon – September 9, 2013 – 9:38 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My apologies
It's not funny!
From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2013 – 9:39 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: My apologies
Oh, was her work rather shitty? HA! HA! HA! I really can't stop laughing.
From: Ashley Gordon – September 9, 2013 – 9:46 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My apologies
You and Greg. He just found it to be hilarious, too. And why would he be bothered? He gets to have a hearty laugh and then go to work. I'm the one who had to put on a surgical mask and gloves and clean it all up. Do you know how hard it is to get feces off of a wall?
Even with Greg working at a paint company and knowing that we have the highest quality paint to withstand stains and dirt, it's still not easy getting it all off.
And the mattress. I could go on about the mattress. I just had to throw it out. There's no way to clean it. It's not like I can put it in the washing machine. No, this is decidedly not funny.
From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2013 – 9:49 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: My apologies
You're right. It doesn't sound funny or fun. I'm sorry. I'd offer to help but I'm swamped at work right now.
From: Ashley Gordon – September 9, 2013 – 9:51 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My apologies
That's just what Greg said. No, I did it. Everything's clean but now I need to run to the baby store and buy a new mattress. I'll call you later.
From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2013 – 9:52 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Re: My apologies
See below. I can't stop laughing.
From: PBCupLover – September 9, 2013 – 9:53 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: My apologies
That sounds awful. I can't believe you don't have more sympathy for her.
From: Renee Greene – September 9, 2013 – 9:54 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: My apologies
You're laughing too, aren't you?
From: PBCupLover – September 9, 2013 – 9:56 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: My apologies
YES! I fell out of my chair in hysterics. While I do feel sorry for Ashley, just the thought of her wiping smeared shit off her walls is comic gold…or brown. Makes my crappy
