occurred, “but these are expressed reasonably and courteously.” In regard to the children, “We always presented a united front. The children quickly learned that they could not pit one of us against the other. Their efforts to divide us were met with, ‘What did Mom/Dad say?—that’s the answer.’”
Their life together has been a joint effort of children, home, travel, and a commitment to a spiritual path in which each is in tune with the other. From Hans, Katherine has learned “to be less rigid—not seeing everything so cut and dried, black and white. I’ve become freer—more able to play and get out from under my puritanical ethic of responsibility.” She feels as though he’s also helped her obtain more balance in her life. From Katherine, Hans has learned “patience, the importance of color and design, a deep sense of caring. We showed each other trust and loyalty. Katherine learned Danish—which she has used widely in our visits to Denmark, and I backed her artistic abilities and encouraged her.”
Repeatedly in their travels together, people who have just met them have commented about their relationship: “It’s wonderful to see a couple so in love after so many years”; “You’re both a delight—an inspiration for us”; “What a great example you two are”; and “It just feels good to be together with you two.”
To sum it up, Hans says, “Our life together through fifty-four years—as of this moment—is a continuous story of love and understanding and faith.” As to the formula for creating a successful relationship? “Give sixty percent and expect forty percent.” Katherine adds, “Accept and overlook the small, picky habits, and appreciate the depth and warmth of love that outweighs everything else.”
A less successful account of soul mates is told in the story of Anna and Dave Mitchell. In 1935, a twenty-eight-year-old writer named Dave asked for a reading regarding the possibility of marrying his sweetheart of six years. In the reading Cayce confirmed that the couple had been together three times previously and in the present could accomplish a great deal, “if their efforts are put in the right direction” (849-12). Cayce stated that the two had much to work out together, but it could be accomplished “in patience, in tolerance, in love.” Apparently, at a soul level, they shared a dependency and a responsibility toward one another. At various times in the past, there had been occasions when the two had both assisted and been detrimental to the other’s growth. In the present, Anna and Dave were advised to marry and to always keep foremost in their minds the fact that marriage was a “fifty-fifty” proposition and that they needed to maintain a unity of purpose. Toward the end of the reading, Cayce added, “Beware then, in each, of self and self’s interest irrespective of the other.”
Less than two weeks after their marriage, Dave sent a letter thanking Edgar Cayce for his help:
We are, of course, deliriously happy, and among other things we both want to thank you for that reading—it isn’t going to be all a bed of roses, but with the knowledge and help that comes from your gift we hope that we can “take it” and keep going . . .
Over the years, Dave and his wife received a number of readings about their relationship, Dave’s career as a writer, their past lives, and even readings for their baby daughter who was born within two years of their marriage. In one reading, the couple was told that the greatest influences affecting them from the past came from their joint experiences in England and ancient Egypt. In Egypt, the state had apparently chosen Anna to be Dave’s wife—a situation that he rebelled against. It wasn’t so much that he disliked Anna as it was he found repugnant the fact that the nation had such control over the affairs of its people. Obviously, Anna had felt abandoned by her husband’s refusal of her.
In their most recent experience together in England, Dave had been a Catholic priest and Anna a nun. At the time, the two had been attracted to one another. Apparently, the priest had mentally dominated the nun and persuaded her to break their vows of celibacy against her better judgment. Anna had yet to forgive Dave for what had happened. Interestingly enough, in their present lifetime both Anna and Dave had been raised strict Catholics. However, the difference between the two was that Anna was very committed to her faith whereas Dave was almost hostile toward his. In spite of the antagonistic past-life influences between the two, Anna was told in her reading that if she worked on her personal relationship with Dave, she had the opportunity to “bring the greater satisfaction, the greater understanding, the greater blessings for self and for others” (1102-1). At the same time, Dave was told to put his energies into the importance of home and family.
In spite of their six-year love affair, shortly after their marriage differences between the two seemed to undermine the relationship. Anna grew more and more distressed about Dave’s “revolt” from Catholicism. Dave stated he was convinced that “Anna will not be satisfied until I fully re-embrace the Catholic faith”—an event which he did not perceive as very likely. Perhaps because of breaking her vow of celibacy in England and because of being rejected in Egypt, Anna did not have the same desire for sexual frequency as did her husband. As a result, Dave called his wife frigid and Anna thought her husband’s view of women both archaic and primitive. In the present, Dave also tried to dominate his wife mentally, just as he had done in the past. However, somewhere along the way, Anna had acquired a greater degree of independence and self-reliance. Rather than working together and resolving their differences, Dave became all the more focused on his intellectual pursuits and writing career and Anna became more distant. Each began to resent the other.
Within two years of their marriage, Dave was stricken with a crippling disease which, according to the doctors, resembled a combination of “arthritis, spinal meningitis, and infantile paralysis.” Within a very short period of time, Dave was crippled to such an extent that he had some mobility only of his arms and was incapable of doing much of anything to help himself. As if to enable them both to rectify the broken vows of celibacy, sexual activity between the two was out of the question. Both individuals became miserable. Anna refused to divorce him because of her faith, and Dave told friends that marriage was so repugnant to him that if the time ever came when he was single and another woman tried to get him to marry her, “probably I would kill her.” To Dave, the idea of being married to anybody was unthinkable. He added, “I feel wonderfully convinced that monastic life is the only approach to genuine happiness.” Rather than working together or trying to resolve any of their differences, each remained steadfast in the opinion that it was the other who needed to change.
Because of his illness, Dave confined himself to such places as the Hospital for Joint Disease and Johns Hopkins. Although Anna felt obligated to visit him during his confinement, he did not look forward to seeing her, nor did he have any desire to return home. In spite of their separation, he continued to write to support his family, but was limited by his doctor to sit at his typewriter only an hour a day. In order to make the best use of his time, Dave composed and edited 1,000 words of copy in his mind before writing it out in the allotted hour. The pain of his illness was excruciating. Confined to a wheelchair, he underwent many experimental treatments, not to mention a reliance on such medications as aspirin, codeine, cortisone, nepenthe, various narcotics, and in his words “brandy.”
Eventually, events in their lives necessitated Dave returning to live with his wife just as a stroke and paralysis struck Anna’s father. As a result, Anna had two invalids—her husband and her father—to care for. Dave found the situation intolerable. In 1941, he obtained another reading and asked about how he was supposed to work with his wife. He was told, in part:
For, they are necessary one to the other in filling those purposes for which their activities are in this present experience.
As to application, this must be according to the choice of each. They should be cooperative, one with another. The way ye know. The application ye must make. 849-60
A few months earlier, Cayce had also told Anna, “Each needs the other” (1102-5).
Over
