caps and tartan tams.
Hassan can tax all banal trash that vagrants at a plaza pawn and swap: ant farms and lava lamps, rat traps and lawn darts – chaff and draff that jampacks all trashcans. A trashman and a scrapman can pawn scrap parts: fans, amps and a dashlamp, rads, cams and a camshaft, gas tanks and clamps, car jacks and straps, hand-cranks that can crank a crankshaft. A lampman at a lampstand can hawk Argand lamps (all brands): arc lamps and gas lamps, flash-lamps that flash at half a watt. A sawman can hawk all handsaws and hacksaws, all bandsaws and back-saws, sharp saws that saw apart a flat-sawn plank.
Hassan at Arab talks can canvass all satraps and ask that Arab banks back what grand plans Hassan has (dams and canals at Panama, arks and wharfs at Havana – tasks that, as a drawback, warrant what Hassan calls ‘a harsh tax plan’). Hassan lacks tact, and (alas) a rajah’s blatant sarcasm sparks a flagrant backlash as rampant as a vandal’s wrath. Hassan grandstands at a grandstand, as all thralls lash back, wag placards and rant a clamant rant. Arrant gangs clash and start brawls that trash rattan cabanas (what a fracas). A maharajah asks that a hangman hang all bastards and laggards that a lawman can catch.
Hassan can watch, aghast, as databanks at NASDAQ graph hard data and chart a NASDAQ crash – a sharp fall that alarms staff at a Manhattan bank. Hassan acts fast, ransacks cashbags at a mad dash, and grabs what bank drafts a bank branch at Casablanca can cash: marks, rands and bahts. Hassan asks that an adman draft a want ad that can hawk what canvas art Hassan has (a Cranach, a Cassatt and a Chagall). Hassan can fast-talk a chap at a watchstand and pawn a small watch that has, as a watchglass, a star padparadschah (half a grand, a carat). A shah can pack a bag, flag a cab and scram, catch-as-catch-can.
Hassan has a dacha at Kazakhstan, and at a small shack Hassan can hatch a dark plan. Hassan wants back what past landmass a shah has had (vacant tracts that span as far as Khanabad and Ashkhabad, Kandahar and Samarkand – landmarks that Kazakh anarchs smash apart and sack). Hassan can scan an atlas that maps Madagascar and all lands afar: Java, Malta and Japan, Chad, Ghana and Qatar, Canada and Lapland, Rwanda and Malabar. Hassan can scan an almanac that charts facts and stats at Dallas, Savannah and Atlanta (Kansas, Arkansas and Alabama). Hassan asks that banks at Warsaw and Gdansk fax Hassan a fax.
Hassan can start a war. Hassan marshalls an armada that can attack Javan wharfs at Jakarta. Hassan asks that all sampans trawl canals and chart thalassal hazards (sandbanks that can strand a small bark, cataracts that can thwart a balsa raft); catamarans as fast as narwhals dash past a sandbar and ram all naval craft that lack ballast at landfall. Masts snap. Spars warp. A gangplank cracks as backwash slams a carrack and swamps a canvas tarp (splash, splash). A raftsman and a hatchman bark ‘avast’ and clamp a hatch, as all hands man a capstan and tack landward, hard abaft. A damp flag flaps at half-mast.
Hassan can watch as all hands land a small warcraft and camp at a lava sandflat – a basalt strand that has tar sands as black as magma ash. Wasps and gnats swarm as all hands stack sandbags and start a spartan camp. A campman, smart at campcraft, can spark a match and warm an ashpan that thaws what hardtack a clan wants: bran mash and lard, spam hash and salt, ballpark franks and flapjack stacks (all starch and fat). A packman at camp packs a backpack, a knapsack and a packsack. A watchman stands watch, as all ranks at dawn act as pawns that can marshall adamant brawn and march a harsh warpath.
Hassan can watch as a marksman tracks a stag, a hart and a fawn, and at last bags a ram (a bwana as smart as Tarzan can trap all mammals: alpacas and llamas, caracals and pandas, aardvarks that can catch larval ants). Hawks and larks dart past tamaracks, as jackdaws and mallards flap past catalpas and land athwart a larch (sparhawks and caracaras scrawk at blackcaps and avadavats). A bantam jacamar can stand athwart a jacaranda branch and catch all scarabs that gnaw at sassafras bark. A jackal stalks an addax. A Manx cat nabs a pack rat. A black asp crawls past a sawgrass marsh that has algal tarns.
Macaws caw as a phalanx tramps past a tall alp (a stark crag that dwarfs all scarps and chasms), and at a dark pass all ranks halt, stand fast and attack a vast barracks that has ramparts and catwalks. A Spartan axman as stalwart as Ajax grabs an ax and hacks at a swart clansman: whack, whack. A Rwandan man-at-arms grasps an atlatl and casts a fatal shaft that can stab a grand marshall. A Slav warman as gallant as Galahad (and D’Artagnan) clasps a scabbard and draws a katana that can smash a man’s brassards and slash a man’s flancards. A sharp hand adz can bash a man’s arms and gash a man’s gams: swack, swack.
Alarms clang as a radarman tracks an attack craft that can jam radar and dart past flak at half a Mach: ack-ack-ack, rat-tat-tat. Vaward attacks blast apart hangars and tarmacs: blam, blam. Plasma blasts scald asphalt; napalm blasts parch macadam (glass shards act as haphazard abradants that sandblast all landwrack). Tanks clank and clack, as halftracks attack flatcars and tramcars: bang, bang. Cars and vans crash. A Mazda hatchback and a Saab smack a tram: wham, wham. A mad labman at a lab crafts an anthrax gas that can waft past all walls at a stalag and harm war camps that lack standard gas masks.
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