wandered through the market fifteen minutes later, tossing things into the basket on nearly every aisle.
After they picked out ice cream, Danyella ran across the aisle to the frozen pizzas. “Can we have pizza tomorrow? I’ll go right home and do my math tonight without being told.” She grinned hugely, trying her best to charm her mom.
“Sorry, sweetie, not this time. You doing your homework without complaint would be really terrific, but tomorrow we’re having dinner at Grandma’s.” Alanna pushed back the anxiety that throbbed inside her at the reminder. “Uncle Kyle’s moved back to town and we’re having a dinner to celebrate.” Well, everyone else would be celebrating, anyway.
Danyella’s eyes widened in delight. “Uncle Kyle will be there?” Though she’d never met him, she was a big fan of Kyle’s photographs and incessantly asked her grandpa about them. She owned an inexpensive digital camera already and took pictures of everything in sight, showing a good eye for composition, even at her age.
“Yes. And Uncle Gregg’s family too, so you’ll have your cousins around to play with.”
“Yay!” Danyella danced her way through the rest of the grocery run, talking at the speed of light.
Alanna cooked dinner that night while overseeing Danyella’s homework. They ate, read together, and went through the evening bath and bedtime routine.
Alanna tried not to think about Kyle, though he was always popping into her mind, haunting her as she sought a way to push him back out of her life. She knew it was impossible—they had a family dinner the next night. There was no graceful way out of it, and even if there were, she couldn’t keep Kyle and Danyella apart indefinitely if he lived in town.
Why did he have to come here? Why couldn’t he leave well enough alone?
Kyle’s father, Mark, and Alanna’s mother, Lorna, had married when Alanna was only three. Her brother, Gregg, and Kyle had both been seven. Though the boys had treated her with the disdain most boys held for their younger sisters, Alanna had developed a crush on Kyle from day one and it had only strengthened through her teens.
Then, the summer after her freshman year, she and Kyle were both off from school and home in Juniper Ridge. She worked for the local nursery to save for tuition, and he had some time to kill after his internship while he waited for the right job opportunity to come around. She took him mountain bike riding along her favorite trails one afternoon, and their relationship had taken a major turn. Eight years later she still remembered the excitement of their first kiss while they stood in the hot sunlight and the sound of birds and a nearby creek danced in the air. His cologne filled her senses, and the light touch of his hands on her arms had sent goose bumps shooting along her skin.
From there on out they were inseparable, though they were careful to hide their feelings in front of her parents. They definitely wouldn’t have been left alone so much if Mark and Lorna had had any clue that there was a developing romance.
Then a job opportunity came through for Kyle. Alanna took him out to celebrate, and he said he loved her. They had one beautiful, perfect night together, and in the morning he took off, leaving behind a note in explanation—the few lines he’d written were wholly insufficient to ease her pain.
Alanna widened the crack in her daughter’s doorway to check in on her. Danyella looked so much like Kyle that Alanna was surprised no one seemed to have made the connection.
Lorna often urged Alanna to track down the father and sue for child support if he wasn’t interested in parenting. But Kyle hadn’t known, and Alanna wasn’t about to ruin the status quo. Even if he wanted visitation, she didn’t know if it would be the best thing for Danyella—how would she cope with a father who only made time for her when it was convenient?
If Mark hadn’t noticed the physical similarities between his granddaughter and his son, would Kyle pick up on it? Alanna could only hope not. He couldn’t stick to anything, he was a roamer, and he wouldn’t stay around for half the year before he yearned to be on the road again. She couldn’t really blame him; she’d always wanted something more, to travel and see the world. Lucky for him, he had the chance. Their one night together, however, had made it impractical and unlikely that Alanna would be able to do the same anytime in the foreseeable future.
“Mom,” Danyella called out as Alanna started to move back to the living room.
“Yes, sweetie?”
“Do you think Uncle Kyle will teach me about pictures?” She yawned hugely and snuggled under the covers more.
“I don’t know. He’s pretty busy.” Alanna tried not to get her daughter’s hopes up. “We don’t know how long he’s going to be here.” He may have agreed to stay a year, but she wasn’t about to hold her breath.
“Does Uncle Kyle have any kids? Because it would be fun to have someone to play with.” Danyella’s voice turned drowsy as she drifted toward sleep.
What could Alanna say to that? “No, honey.” The question had been about cousins to play with, not about herself, right? “Sleep tight.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.” Alanna closed the door most of the way again to block out light from the hallway and moved to the living room. She was a strong, independent woman and had raised Danyella alone this long. Kyle’s return to her life didn’t have to change things, not really. She didn’t interact that much with the photographers, and they could stay out of each other’s way most of the time.
Surely it wouldn’t take long for the memories to calm when he was around, and for his handsome face to stop twisting her insides with all-too-familiar pain.
She prepared for the next day, checked the locks, and then headed to her room, tears already stinging her eyes as the emotions she’d been pushing back all afternoon engulfed her.
Just one night of wallowing, Alanna promised herself, and she could face him tomorrow and act as though his very presence didn’t turn her inside out.
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