The Red House Mystery and Other Novels. A. A. Milne

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The Red House Mystery and Other Novels - A. A. Milne

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      BAXTER (_at the swing doors, turning to her, astonished_). Library?

      BELINDA. Yes.

      BAXTER (_moving down_ R. _a little_). You have a library?

      BELINDA (_to_ DEVENISH). He doesn't believe I have a library.

      DEVENISH. You ought to see the library, Baxter.

      BAXTER (_moving more down to below_ R. _of table_). But you are continually springing surprises on me this evening, Mrs. Tremayne. First a daughter, then a husband, and then--a library! I have been here three weeks, and I never knew you had a library. Dear me, I wonder how it is that I never saw it?

      BELINDA (_modestly, rising_). I thought you came to see _me_.

      BAXTER. Yes, yes, to see you, certainly. But if I had known you had a library ....

      BELINDA. Oh, I am so glad I mentioned it. Wasn't it lucky, Mr. Devenish?

      BAXTER. My work has been greatly handicapped of late.

      (DELIA _and_ TREMAYNE _enter the garden from up_ L. _and pass the window at the back_.)

      BELINDA (_sweetly_). By me?

      BAXTER. I was about to say by lack of certain books to which I wanted to refer. It would be a great help. (_He moves up R, reflectively muttering "Library."_)

      BELINDA (_moving below and to_ R. _of_ C. _table_). My dear Mr. Baxter, my whole library is at your disposal. (_She turns to_ DEVENISH, _who is on her_ L., _and at the back of the table. She speaks in a confidential whisper_.) I'm just going to show him the Encyclopedia Britannica. (_She moves below the settee to the door_ R.) You won't mind waiting--Delia will be in directly.

      (BAXTER, _still muttering "Library," crosses to the door and opens it for her. She goes out and he follows her_. DEVENISH _moves to the R. of the swing doors and welcomes_ DELIA _and_ TREMAYNE. TREMAYNE _enters from the portico and holds open the swing doors for_ DELIA.)

      DELIA (_speaking from the portico_). Hullo, we're just coming in.

      (_They enter and_ DELIA _moves down_ R. _of the table_.)

      TREMAYNE. Where's Mrs. Tremayne?

      DEVENISH (_moving to down_ R.). She's gone to the library with Baxter.

      TREMAYNE (_coming down on_ DELIA'S R. _side--carelessly_). Oh, the library. Where's that?

      DEVENISH (_promptly going towards the door, opening it and standing above it_). The end door on the right.

      (DELIA _sits on the_ R. _end of the table facing_ R.)

      Right at the end. You can't mistake it. On the right.

      TREMAYNE. Ah, yes. (_He looks round at_ DELIA, _who points significantly at the door twice_.) Yes. (_He looks at_ DEVENISH.) Yes. (_He goes out_.)

      (DEVENISH _hastily shuts the door and comes back to_ DELIA.)

      DEVENISH. I say, your mother is a ripper.

      DELIA (_enthusiastically_). Isn't she! (_Remembering_.) At least, you mean my aunt?

      DEVENISH (_smiling at her_). No, I mean your mother. To think that I once had the cheek to propose to her.

      DELIA. Oh! Is it cheek to propose to people!

      DEVENISH. To _her_.

      DELIA. But not to me?

      DEVENISH. Oh I say, Delia!

      DELIA (_with great dignity_). Thank you, my name is Miss Robinson-- I mean, Tremayne.

      DEVENISH. Well, if you're not quite sure which it is, it's much safer to call you Delia.

      DELIA (_smiling_). Well, perhaps it is.

      DEVENISH. And if I did propose to you, you haven't answered

      DELIA (_sitting in the chair_ R. _of the table_). If you want an answer now, it's no; but if you like to wait till next April-----

      DEVENISH (_moving up to behind table--reproachfully_). Oh, I say, and I cut my hair for you the same afternoon. (_Turning quickly_.) You haven't really told me how you like it yet.

      DELIA. Oh, how bad of me! You look lovely.

      DEVENISH (_sitting at back of the table_). And I promised to give up poetry for your sake.

      DELIA. Perhaps I oughtn't to have asked you that.

      DEVENISH. As far as I'm concerned, Delia, I'll do it gladly, but, of course, one has to think about posterity.

      DELIA. But you needn't be a poet. You could give posterity plenty to think about if you were a statesman.

      DEVENISH. I don't quite see your objection to poetry.

      DELIA. You would be about the house so much. I want you to go away every day and do great things, and then come home in the evening and tell me all about it.

      DEVENISH. Then you _are_ thinking of marrying me!

      DELIA. Well, I was just thinking in case I had to.

      DEVENISH (_he rises and taking her hands, raises her from the chair. She backs a step to_ R.). Do. It would be rather fun if you did. And look here--(_he pulls her gently back. They both sit on the table. He places his arm round her waist_)--I _will_ be a statesman, if you like, and go up to Downing Street every day, and come back in the evening and tell you all about it.

      DELIA. How nice of you!

      DEVENISH (_magnificently, holding up his_ L. _hand to Heaven_). Farewell, Parnassus!

      DELIA (_pulling down his hand_). What does that mean?

      DEVENISH. Well, it means that I've chucked poetry. A statesman's life is the life for me; behold Mr. Devenish, the new M.P.--(_she holds up her_ L. _hand admonishingly and he laughs apologetically _)--no, look here, that was quite accidental.

      DELIA (_smiling at him_). I believe I shall really like you when I get to know you.

      DEVENISH. I don't know if it's you, or Devonshire, or the fact that I've had my hair cut, but I feel quite a different being from what I was three days ago.

      DELIA.

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