your self-image can be devastating. As a result, fixed mindset people are not open to feedback – it’s just too scary. They also rarely offer feedback. Obviously, this doesn’t bode well for meaningful performance conversations.
•A growth mindset individual doesn’t see feedback or criticism as a threat. Rather, they see feedback as something that fuels their growth and takes some of the pain out of the learning curve. If they receive feedback that is not in alignment with their self-perception, they don’t instantly accept or reject the feedback. Rather, they consider the source, the motivation, and the accuracy of the feedback. Then they either reject the feedback as inaccurate or accept it and allow their self-concept to change. Clearly, this means they value feedback and can participate well in meaningful performance conversations.
Failure
•Fixed mindset people often allow failure to define them. “I failed at this task,” they may think, “I must be a failure.” Failure isn’t a form of feedback or a learning experience; it is devastating to them. A fixed mindset leader is, therefore, very critical of failure in others – fostering an environment where fear rules and innovation suffers.
•Growth mindset people don’t allow failure to define them. Failure, for them, is another form of feedback they can learn from. It doesn’t devastate them; it motivates them. A growth mindset leader is, therefore, tolerant of failure in others as long as they learn from it – fostering an environment where innovation and creativity thrive.
Without question, the growth mindset individual is the kind of individual more likely to practice engaging communication. And the connection between growth mindset leaders and employee engagement is clear. Research reveals that:
•Managers with a growth mindset notice improvement in their employees, whereas those with a fixed mindset do not (because they are stuck in their initial impression).11
•Peter Heslin, Don Vandewalle, and Gary Latham showed that employees evaluated their growth mindset managers as providing better coaching for employee development.12
Mindset is that it is just that: a mindset. And you can always change your mind. Many people struggle with some fixed mindset tendencies, and, in fact, we aren’t always just one mindset or the other. The great news is, research reveals that simply being aware of these mindset differences goes a long way towards fostering a growth mindset. If you sometimes find yourself in a fixed mindset, then making a conscious effort to overcome those limiting beliefs and choosing a growth mindset will assist you tremendously to communicate in a way that enhances employee engagement.
Human beings,
by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the out aspects of their lives.
~ William James
CHAPTER 3
Change “Will this work?” to “How will this work?”
It is remarkable what an amazing difference this small change can make! When you simply ask “Will this work?” you are asking a yes or no question. It is then far too easy to answer, “Nope – it won’t work” and dismiss a potentially useful or valid tool simply because at first glance, it isn’t a neat and tidy solution.
As you read this book, ask yourself “How will this work in my organization?” or “How will this work for me?” When you add the “how” to this question, it opens your mind, broadens your vision, and increases the likelihood that what you learn will be applied. You will also see applications that might not be obvious at first, but can be very valuable in the long run.
Savvy communicators will use this change in language to foster em- ployee engagement. One of the key drivers of employee engagement is making people feel their contributions are valued. When discussing new ideas, instead of asking your team or peers “Will this work?” ask them “How will this work?”
Be prepared for innovative and creative answers! Not only will this question help broaden employees’ horizons and open their minds, but it creates an atmosphere where innovation and creativity are not only valued but actively sought. You will also find that employees have a greater amount of “buy-in” or engagement with the answers because they have had a part in creating them.
CHAPTER 4
Words Matter!
The Case of “That” vs. “If”
Remarkable communicators understand on a very deep level that words matter. Words are the currency of personal and professional life. They can ignite excitement, commitment, and dedication. It is the words we choose to use that can help people feel valued, appreciated, and motivated to give their best. It is also the words we choose to use that can trigger defensiveness, hostility, and animosity in others.
As a professional, the words you choose to use and the words you choose to lose can make all the difference with respect to employee engagement. Moreover, even small changes in the words you choose to use can make a big difference in how engaged your employees and peers feel.
To use an example, word choice is a lot like duct tape. If you’ve ever seen a NASCAR race on television or been to the track, you know duct tape is one of the most powerful pieces of equipment a pit crew will utilize. They will put duct tape over the front grill of a vehicle, and they will either remove or add duct tape during the course of a race. Sometimes as little as an inch of duct tape can increase or decrease airflow over the engine, which can increase speed and performance. One inch of duct tape can make the difference between winning and losing. So it is with the words we choose to use or the words we choose to remove from our conversations.
One of the techniques I would encourage you to adopt is to change a phrase you may use regularly and replace it with a more powerful, positive, effective phrase.
We all know it is important to apologize if we have done something wrong, hurtful, or inappropriate. A leader who can apologize helps to instill trust in those they lead. And when employees trust their leaders, they are more likely to be engaged.
Be mindful – the words you choose when making an apology, even the small words, matter. Consider the case of “that” and “if.”
I apologize if I was inattentive during our conversation.
vs.
I apologize that I was inattentive during our conversation.
Which would you rather hear? I vote for version #2, “I apologize that I was inattentive.”
When you say, “I apologize if I was inattentive,” you are not genuinely acknowledging the hurt, pain or trouble that was caused. In fact, it can almost sound like you are accusing them of being hyper-sensitive or over-emotional.
By contrast, when you say, “I apologize that I was inattentive,” you are genuinely taking responsibility for your disrespectful behavior and the hurt and pain you caused. You are communicating in an accountable and emotionally mature fashion.
“That” vs. “If”
One communicates respect. The other communicates disrespect and contempt. This is one of a myriad of examples to illustrate how words matter. Choose yours wisely.
Remember not only to say
the right things in the right
