does make things just a bit more complicated, to put it mildly. Yes, our children can be a wonderful catalyst to soul growth. But they certainly do limit the time under the Bodhi tree!
On my journey to awakening, I traveled through various stages of soul growth and brought the treasures and nuggets back to my children to share and also to see if this new way of being could improve my relationship with them. Invariably, I was disappointed. But why was I doing all this soul searching? Was it to be a better mother or to simply awaken for my own sake?
Inevitably both. As I have learned in the course of my life, once you become a mother, you will always be a mother. Yes, you can focus on self, and that's all well and good. But you and the children are inextricably linked forever. Any mother will tell you that is simply the way it goes. Nothing changes that fact. Nothing. If you've had a child, there will not be one day in your life where you do not think about that child.
So, how does this affect one's ability to become an enlightened being? Enormously!
Yet, who has actually thought about this fact, or written about it?
If you look at the metaphysical literature you will find statements to the effect that these beings who have come through our bodies are sovereign beings of Light who must have their own journeys. We must let them go for their own soul growth.
Well, after thirty five years on the path I'm here to say, very simply and honestly: The suggestion to let them go is hogwash, bullshit, whatever term you want to go with. To my dying breath as I leave this form, I will want to tell my children that I love them and I've always cared.
That's just the way it is. I may be incredibly enlightened by that point -- God knows I hope so. And I may finally be capable of loving everyone in my universe with a compassionate open heart, but the kids will come first.
That's just part of what's ingrained in being human. And I am human.
== ::: ==
Chapter 2
Where Do Women Fit In?
I've shared what I wrote in the preceding chapter with friends and family. They responded with affirmation and enthusiasm. One friend wrote to me what she had told her daughter when her daughter expressed her overwhelming love for her newborn son:
“I think women don't have to leave to find enlightenment for there is no thing greater than unconditional love, and we learn it by being mothers. We don't have to become priests. We already are.”
I do believe this is the crux of the matter. Patriarchal history has repeatedly given us examples of men who achieved an enlightened state. If a woman has done so, she accomplished such a feat either as a celibate or as a woman who left her children behind.
Yet, there was a time in our prehistory, when Goddesses ruled. Women were revered as the givers not only of life but of wisdom. In some indigenous societies, such was the case for many centuries even after the rise of Western Civilization.
One example is the medicine women of the Americas. Another example can be found in the over 5000 year old Hindu religion. The Goddesses of that tradition, however, are often portrayed as consorts of Gods who are worshiped because they can bring fertility to supplicants.
You see, throughout our more recent civilizations the primary function of women has been to give birth within specific societal parameters. Any deviation is still considered suspect in many parts of the world.
As Western Civilization arose, we saw the persecution of women of wisdom. Organized religion gave rise to the concept of “witch” as the only way one could regard such women. And the witches were persecuted harshly, and frequently murdered, because patriarchal religion feared the power that women appeared to possess.
I am a feminist, and was quite active in the movement in the seventies, at least at first. As the years passed I was very pleased to see the advances in equality we achieved. But we did it in spite of being mothers. In fact, we frequently hid any hint of femininity and motherhood so we would be regarded as “equals” to men.
But maybe, because we are women, and most of us have gone through the arduous task of giving birth and raising children, we have even more to offer than men. This was a thought I entertained frequently during those years of activism. However, I never brought it up for discussion in my women's groups. That would not have been a good idea; it would have reminded all of us that we were women and women were still regarded as less than men.
Now, I see the same thinking can be found in the area of metaphysical enlightenment. We never talk much about being wives and mothers. Those issues are distracting. But are they distracting, or the crux of the matter? Why has it taken me so long for my eyes to open? Interesting question.
Here we are, in a modern society where we more than ever have the freedom to choose our path. I am grateful that this is possible. And so, now it's time to tackle the issue head on: Where do women fit in?
A recent event in the United States emphasizes the reshaping of our roles as women that must occur now. The men who hold sway over Congress had come to an impasse and the government had shut down once again because of a lack of consensus. We were about to also default on our debt which would have had an effect around the world. It was the women in Congress who brokered an agreement that allowed the government to reopen and avoid default. Isn't that interesting?
Many of the men in power are intent on undoing a new health care program (“Obamacare”). They are already blocking basic reproductive care and many programs that aid women and children across the nation. Yet, these are the same men who wish to deny women control over when they can choose to have children. They seem more interested in the unborn child than the ones who have arrived on Earth.
Now these issues will be debated once again in Congress. Can the minority of women there broker a lasting peace that takes into account the needs of those most vulnerable, mothers and children?
The Buddha teaches us to have compassion for all. To sit, be still, go within and see that this world of illusion is fraught with confusion. The end of suffering comes when we can release our need to take sides and do battle, when we can bless all whom we encounter and remain peaceful within.
How do you explain this to a mother who has no means to feed her children? When does the Goddess arise once again to take command of how humans treat this planet so the needs of all are considered? Does sitting and meditating help us achieve this goal?
And after our basic needs are met, how do we continue to navigate the choppy waters of raising the children we have brought into life on Mother Earth?
= :: =
My husband Martin is especially supportive of what I have put on paper so far. It is time to discuss the challenges of opening to the Light while raising children. In the course of our marriage of over twenty years, we have grown together as a team in the awakening process while coping with the needs of the children from my first marriage as well as the children we adopted nine years ago in Ukraine. Thus, the topic of this book is the topic of our lives.
We are fortunate because we can reliably feed our children and care for their physical needs in every way. But we are mindful that this is not true for everyone. That is why in our daily meditations we send Light and healing to everyone upon the planet. We've been told by
