I shrugged as I absently ran my hands through my hair, which fell to my shoulder blades since I’d cut it early in the summer. “Not really. I’m just here to supervise.”
“And you’re doing a great job at that, babe.” Jensen leaned over and kissed me quickly on my lips.
“Aw, thanks.” I smiled up at him, trying not to think about the fact that I would be saying goodbye to him soon.
“How are you doing?” Alicia whispered as Jensen disappeared into his closet.
“You know, I’m trying not to think too much about it,” I whispered back. It was hard trying to hide the loneliness I already felt.
Alicia gave me half a smile. "If it's any consolation, I have to say goodbye to James, too." Alicia and James had become an item last May after prom and seemed inseparable ever since. She knew just how I was feeling.
"Have you two worked out a visitation schedule?" I asked. Jensen and I had talked about when he would be back to visit and I had tentatively plotted out a few weekends where I'd go down to visit him, although I wasn't quite sure how my being there would work with his roommate.
"Not really, we'll play it by ear. I'm not sure how it will work out with his roommate," Alicia said, voicing my thoughts.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Jensen hasn't really said how he'll handle that when I come. I think he has to sneak me into his dorm, too. I don't know how all of that works."
"You should have him rent a hotel room for when you come since he'll be old enough to do so. In fact, you might want to start convincing him now of that."
"Start convincing who of what?" Jensen asked as he emerged from his closet holding a few items, which he tossed into a nearby box.
"Alicia was suggesting I stay in a hotel when I visit you at school."
"Why? You can stay in my dorm. I'm sure it's no big deal."
"C'mon, Jensen, be real. Do you really think your roommate wants to be displaced? I'm sure Mia doesn't want that awkwardness hanging over her whole visit." I could always count on Alicia to be brutally honest and voice what I couldn't.
Jensen looked a little hurt that it was his sister voicing this and not me. "Babe, do you feel that way?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, it seems to make sense."
"Why don’t we talk about this later?" he suggested before I gave him a half-smile. I could tell he knew it wasn't genuine because he hardened his stare and said he’d stop for the time being and pack more later. "I'm a little tired of this, anyway." Jensen pulled me up from the bed and hugged me, whispering "I love you," into my ear.
"Ugh, get a room you two," Alicia joked, bouncing up from the bed.
"Um, we have one and you're in it, so get out," Jensen teased, gesturing with his thumb toward the door.
Taking that as her cue, Alicia danced out of the room and shut the door, leaving us with a warning to "keep it down." We both laughed at her comment, but as soon as the door was shut the feeling in the room turned serious. Jensen ran his fingers through my hair and lightly caressed my cheekbones with his thumbs. I closed my eyes and sighed.
"How are you holding up?" he asked. I opened my eyes and tried to smile. "That's not very convincing," he murmured. I didn't want to cry, so I buried my head in his chest and held him tightly around the neck while he nuzzled my hair. "I know it's going to be tough for both of us. I'll miss you more than you'll ever know."
"Hmmm," I murmured, pulling away to look into his blue eyes. "I think I'll miss you more than you'll ever know."
"Agree to disagree?" he asked, cocking his head slightly and smiling that half-smile that had me melting every time. I reached up and gave him my agreement in the form of a kiss. "You know what will be even tougher to get through?" he asked while he played with my hair.
"I know, I know . . . tonight's dinner . . . I haven't forgotten about that plan.”
We hadn't yet told his family that we were engaged, although we had talked about doing so after he graduated the previous June. The timing never seemed right, so we put off sharing the news until tonight at dinner when we would be with Jensen’s parents, his sister Jessica, and Karl, who was both Jensen’s best friend and Jessica’s boyfriend. None had any idea we'd be dropping a bomb like this, and Jensen’s brother Emery was going to have to hear about it via a phone call, which I assumed Jensen would be making before the actual dinner. Jensen had grappled with the idea of inviting all of our friends, but I pointed out that his parents might become suspicious if all of our friends and close family were expected to come. Instead, we chose to take the rest of them out to lunch the next day to share the news. After dinner, Jensen planned to swear Karl to secrecy so the others wouldn't be upset that he heard before them.
"Are you nervous?" I asked Jensen who was usually one to keep his cool.
"A little,” he admitted, running his fingers through my hair and splaying it across my shoulders. “Are you?”
"How can I not be? Like you said, this is big!"
"Are you afraid my parents won't like you?" he teased, kissing my nose.
"Ha, ha," I said with slight annoyance. "Be serious. I'm just wondering how they'll react. We’ve put it off for so long and now I'm beginning to wonder if that was such a good idea. We should have just told them after graduation like we planned."
"Do you want to do a test run on someone else first?"
"Like Emery?" I felt my stomach churn with a little excitement at actually bringing someone else into the secret other than Alicia.
"Well … yes … him, too, but actually I was thinking your dad."
I balked at his suggestion and stepped backwards. "Are you nuts?"
Jensen stepped forward and pulled me against him, laughing. "You should have seen your face. Babe, I wouldn't make you tell your dad if you weren't ready, although I hope you’d tell him before we actually tied the knot."
"How about we call him together after we tell your family?"
"Deal," Jensen agreed. "And what about your mom? Are you going to tell her?"
Somehow I knew he was going to ask me that. "I don't know … we don't really talk and I don't feel like calling her out of the blue to tell her that. Maybe I can just let it get to her via the grapevine."
Jensen shrugged and I wasn't sure he agreed with my train of thought. "It's your choice, but I just think she may want to hear it from you instead of the grapevine, although I get why you don't want to tell her. You two don't really have a relationship since your emancipation. One would argue it was even before that."
"Yes, exactly." I was glad that we were on the same page.
"Ok, let's call Emery for a dry run. I'm sure he'll take it much better than my parents,” Jensen teased.
Jensen cocked his head and took my hand, leading me out of his room and over to a coffee table where a phone was perched alongside a video game console. We both sat down on the couch and I curled up next to him as he dialed
