being able to keep from smiling, I reached out and took a cigarette from the pack. Jibby flicked the lighter, telling me to breathe in to help the flame catch. After mine was lit he fired up his as well.
“Sit?” Jibby motioned to the back of his truck and I nodded. He opened the tailgate and we both sat up on the cold metal.
“Ahhh, nothing like sitting on a cold piece of tin early in the morning and havin’ a smoke,” he said, blowing out a puff of white that swirled around our heads. I only took small drags, remembering what had happened to me the last time Jibby let me take a drag off his cigarette. So this is what all the fuss was about. Cigarettes are kind of calming. No wonder Aria started in the first place! I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and flicked the building ash off the end with a tap from my thumb.
“So, are you going to tell me why you look like hell?” Jibby took another deep drag and then exhaled perfectly formed circles into the air around us.
“Cute,” I commented, pointing to the circles that were quickly dissolving in the cold morning air. It was a diversionary tactic because I wasn’t quite ready to talk about things yet. “Good thing about cold weather is, people don’t necessarily know you’re smoking. For all they know you might just be breathing.”
“Except for the little white stick you’re taking out of your mouth every now and then.” Jibby cocked a half smile with his cigarette on the side of his mouth. He looked comical. “So, what’s new, Adams?” He took a drag as I sighed.
“Other than I’m skipping zero-hour to avoid someone?” I was comfortable in his presence and needed to tell someone what had happened; someone who was not close to the situation like Krissa or Alicia.
Suddenly concerned, Jibby raised an interested eyebrow at me. “What’s going on?”
Feeling tears in my eyes, I sighed again more heavily. “I fucked up, that’s what’s going on.” Tears began sliding down my face and Jibby put his arm around me in a friendly way, holding me close.
“What? Tell me.”
I took another drag and spilled my guts to him right there in the auto shop parking lot while skipping zero-hour that cold winter morning.
“So that’s what happened after you left with Nate? I should never have encouraged you to do all those shots or given you that Zima,” he said after a minute of letting it all sink in.
“I’m a big girl, I could have made different decisions,” I argued, sticking the cigarette butt in a pile of snow in the bed of his truck and liking the soft hiss it made as it extinguished. We sat there and watched as more cars drove in and parked.
“What time is it?” I asked, not bothering to look at my own watch. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know.
“Seven-thirty. We still have time to kill.”
“Can I have another one?”
“Sure.” Jibby dug into his pocket for the pack and the lighter. He held it out to me, but didn’t let it go when I grabbed it. “Wait, this isn’t like the alcohol, is it? I’m not responsible if you get hooked?”
“No, Jibby, I’m old enough to make my own decisions and right now I need this.”
Reluctantly he let it go and I took out a slender cigarette and lit it. Handing the pack and lighter back to him, I took a long drag and stifled a cough.
“Easy there, Adams. Although I will admit that was better than the first time,” he smirked. “So, did you get your grades over break?”
Of course I had, but for some reason it didn’t put me in a better mood. Doing double-duty with subject requirements and additional work, I had actually pulled mostly A’s with one B in French II. That should have made my year, but it was overshadowed by everything else going on.
“I did fine,” I answered, taking a drag. “You?”
“Straight A’s. I know, I know, I’m a nerd.” Jibby rolled his eyes as his cigarette stuck out the side of his mouth, causing his lips to form around it in a sort of sneer. The move was slightly laughable, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“Mia! Mia!” I turned to see Alicia waving frantically at me from across the parking lot. Fuck! She’s coming over here!
“Shit, Jibby, take this.” I thrust the cigarette at him and he popped it in his mouth. “Do I smell like I was smoking?”
“Oh, probably.” He rolled his eyes. “Gum works best in this situation.”
I searched my pockets. Of course I had gum. Gum was my M.O. I quickly pulled out two pieces and stuck them in my mouth, deciding that the cigarette smoke on my clothes and hair could be explained by my proximity to Jibby.
“See you, thanks for the talk. Please don’t tell anyone what I told you, okay? Alicia doesn’t even know.”
Jibby mimed a lock and key by his mouth with the cigarette still hanging out the side. Turning away, I focused in on Alicia who was making her way over. She slowed a little when she recognized it was Jibby with me, so I told him I’d be back in just a minute and took off to meet her. The two of them had secretly dated last year, but I had no idea why they kept it on the down-low. I still need to figure that one out. When I got over to where she was, Alicia grabbed my arm, her brow furrowed in what looked like anger. It was so unlike her.
“What are you doing with Jibby?” she chastised. “Great, you smell like smoke because of him.”
Good, she had no clue I had been smoking. “We have class together and the guy’s a good listener.” I shrugged.
Alicia spiked her eyebrow at me and seemed to be sizing me up. “Well, in case you care, my brother is a total mess.” She sounded even more irritable and I thought it best to shout over to Jibby that I’d see him later in class. He held up his hand and gave me a wave.
“I do care,” I pointed out to Alicia, “but he hasn’t called.” It was my turn to point an eyebrow.
“You can call him, you know … and me,” she added quietly, stuffing her hands into her long, cream overcoat with big, black buttons that seemed more appropriate for the runway instead of winter.
Oh! I hurt her feelings by not calling her. Not my intention. I put my arm on Alicia’s shoulder and steered her toward the building. “I’m sorry. I just needed to get out of Arizona and have some time alone. With all that Savannah shit going on I felt like I was suffocating.”
Alicia became quiet, which wasn’t normal for her.
“Have you talked to Jensen?” I asked.
Alicia looked at me and shrugged. “I did, but he hasn’t called me back. Did you guys break up or something? You’re not wearing your ring.”
I glanced down at my hand and quickly slipped it into my coat pocket.
“You can tell me, you know.” Alicia’s hurt feelings seemed to have been forgotten.
“No, I don’t think we’ve broken up. Not initially, anyway. I did give him the ring back, but it was only so he could think about what he wanted to do
