you need to cry, cry for your brothers walking beside you.
Put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you something, something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I have known and loved.
And if you cannot live without me, then let me live on in your eyes,
your mind and your acts of kindness.
You can love me most by letting hands touch hands
and letting go of children that need to be free.
Love does not die, people do.
So when all that is left of me is love...
Give me away ...
(Author unknown)
Gracious God, as we come to this moment of saying good-bye to Janice, may we remember that You are here with us to strengthen us and hold us up. We pray Your blessings upon Dan, Dan Jr., Karen, and Lucy. May they feel the continuous embrace of Your love as they walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Open their eyes to the abundant life, and life everlasting which we have through Christ, our Lord. May they lean upon You for strength and help, and have the assurance that death is not the end, but the beginning of a new and abundant life. Through Christ, our Lord, we pray. Amen.
1 Helen Steiner Rice, “What More Can You Ask?” Helen Steiner Rice, Just for Me (Garden City, New York: Doubleday & Company, Inc., 1967), 38.
2: A Homily
for
Myrtle Bates
(A Lengthy Illness)
“Through the Shadows”
Psalm 23
The Twenty-Third Psalm is the favorite of many people. This is indeed a wonderful Psalm. Phillips Brooks, one of the great ministers in America years ago, described this Psalm as “the nightingale of the Psalms.” He ascribed it as such because the nightingale sings its sweetest when the night is darkest. As a family you have come to the dark moment of grief because your loved one, Myrtle Bates, has died. The shock and grief of her death have forced family and friends to walk through the shadows of the valley of death.
The Lord Is My Shepherd
The Twenty-Third Psalm, however, offers us great help and support. It begins with a strong affirmation, “The Lord is my shepherd.” You and I come to the valley of the shadow of death aware that we do not face death alone, but we have the strength and presence of God to go with us through that valley. We place our hands and our troubled hearts in God’s hands. We have the assurance that God is present with us, to walk beside us and strengthen us to face the burden of grief that lies before us. Just as the shepherd cared for the sheep in ancient times and modern places today, Christ, as our Good Shepherd, walks beside us with love and peace.
A Place of Rest and Guidance
The Psalm says: “The Lord makes me lie down.” We find in this moment of grief our rest, peace and refuge in the presence of God who is here with us. “He leads me.” God gives us guidance and a sense of direction. The shock of grief leaves us puzzled and confused and we are not sure we can feel God’s presence. But we have to remember that God’s presence is not based on feelings. Sometimes we are low because of our grief and God is ever present to guide us, strengthen us and walk with us into the days that lie before us.
God’s Renewal
The Psalm says: “He restores my soul.” You need to look to God to find renewal, reinvigoration and strength to help bear you up.
A small boy was struggling one day with a heavy log, trying to bring it to his father to be used in the fireplace. Finally, he stumbled and dropped the log.
The father said, to the young son, “Why didn’t you use all of your strength?”
The small boy, a bit hurt, said, “But Dad, I did.”
“No! No! you didn’t,” the father said, “You did not ask me to help you.”
This is the great truth of the Psalm. God is with us. We can’t bear this grief alone, but God is present to help you. God is with you. God offers companionship, a sense of His presence. We know that we are never alone.
Walking through the Valley
The Psalm says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley.” The Bible often uses “walking’ as a word to describe the different aspects of life. In Genesis it states: “Before whom my fathers did walk” (Genesis 48:15). “Ask the good way and walk therein” (Jeremiah 6:18). Micah reminds us, “Walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). “Walk in newness of life” (Romans 6:4). “Walk worthy of your vocation” (Ephesians 4: 1). “Walk worthy of the Lord” (Colossians 1:9).
We pause today to remember the walk of Myrtle Bates. For 85 years she walked the good life among us. She experienced, like all of us, good times and difficult times, happy and sad moments, joys and sorrows. But through it all, she was a good woman. We thank God for her life. Today we express our gratitude for the years we shared with her as family and friends. But, even at its longest, life is still brief. We know life will be different without her and she will be missed but we are thankful for the many years that she walked among us. Today she is survived by two sons, seven grandchildren, and six great grandchildren.
We observed her walk and the way she lived. Myrtle was faithful in her church attendance until she became older and ill. For 20 years she was a Nursing Associate. She enjoyed this work and was good at it. She worked with Southeastern General Hospital until she was 72. She was good hearted to strangers and enjoyed being with older people. She admired her mother and talked about her a great deal. She was serious minded and devoted to Wilton. She was a good woman of religious faith. Myrtle’s influence will continue to be felt by family and friends through many years to come.
The Valley of Shadows
In Palestine there is a valley known as “The Shadow of Death.” It is a frightening place for sheep and for people. It is a fierce place with steep slopes and rugged terrain. Often, in Biblical days, there were robbers waiting to pounce on people who came through there or to steal the sheep. This valley of the shadows is indeed frightening. Look for a moment at this valley of the shadows. Shadows often hide and distort reality. The pathway through grief may look dark and gloomy as it did through the Shadow of Death Valley. But we have to remember the emphasis is on the word through. We pass through those shadows which distort the reality which is before us.
Remember that the shadows themselves have no reality. A shadow is not real. Remember, wherever you have a shadow, there is light shining behind it because there can be no shadow without light. The shadow is the resultant gloom caused by something between you and the light. Remember that the shadows vanish when you face the light. If we stay in the shadows of grief, we will feel low. When we walk toward the light, then the shadows will disappear. They fall behind us. Let us turn and look toward the light of God’s presence which shines in our face to remind us that death is not the end. The key emphasis, I think, in this line is “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” We walk through the valley of the shadow of grief today assured
