course it’s unsustainable!” shouted the PM, missing the point. “We can’t afford to pay that much. Everything is so bloody far away. Too far. If they keep this up, even the shit-house’ll be too far for me!”
Bouffler laughed dutifully at the PM’s joke, then attempted to bring the discussion back.
“I hate to remind you, Prime Minister. What you want is just not happening and we need a fallback position.” He noted the PM’s rising anger and added the rider, “in case the boffins can’t fix it.”
“There is no fallback position!” he fumed. “And who sold me that crap about geosequestration anyway? Bloody fools!”
“The idea came from Poland, actually.”
“Is this some sort of ‘Polish joke’?”
“Unfortunately, no, it isn’t,” he answered. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, as they say, but our trials show…”
“So how come we didn’t know all this before we invested so much political capital in a loser?”
“We got sucked in because we were so keen to believe it,” he answered. “As soon as it was touted we grabbed it.”
“And who did the bloody touting? Was it you?”
“No, not me. Blackwater Coal did, sir,” he replied quietly. “It was in their Environment Impact Statement. Their EIS contained an
opinion there was a high probability it could be achieved. It was not an unequivocal assurance.”
“And who wrote the bloody EIS?” he demanded. “It’s no good going with a half-arsed EIS if we’re the ones left with our trousers down! Who signed off on it anyway?”
“I believe it was the CR Corporation, sir,” he explained. “Consulting Engineers.”
“Who the hell is CR Corp?” he demanded. “Are they credible? Maybe we can dump this back on them. I’ll need to quote some bastard when I feed the chooks. Bloody press!”
“In the industry, sir, CR stands for ‘Coal Roolz’.” He smiled. “It seems the miners pay and CR plays their tune.”
“And who gave Blackwater their licence on a dodgy EIS to start sequestration trials anyway?” demanded Mulaney.
“Well, it was a while ago, sir,” he smiled. “It was when you were minister. I’m afraid it has your signature on it.”
“Crap! You‘re not afraid,” he shouted. “You’re enjoying this, you supercilious bastard!”
“Bastard I may be, but supercilious I am not, sir” he replied evenly. “I too opposed that particular permit, given over the objections of the departmental officer who knocked it back. He was right to question the EIS. I remind you, it was me who suffered demotion at your hand because I opposed your interference…”
“That’s enough!” fumed Mulaney. “If you think you can stand there and make a bloody fool out of me, you’ll be waving good-bye from Canberra Airport.”
“Prime Minister,” he soothed, “I am merely offering honest advice. Everything I’ve said is in the reports and you’ll be quizzed about it eventually.”
“You’re right,” he agreed. “But you keep your mouth shut and leave the talking to me. No comment, or just give them official policy. OK?” he fumed. “One peep and you’re out of here.”
He stood, indicating the meeting was over. Bob Bouffler collected his papers and stood for a moment regarding his PM on the other side of the oversized teak desk.
Mulaney read the threat in the other’s eyes. It was he who might be on the plane if this got into the media.
“I don’t think you realise how much my prestige depends on this.” He paused and shook his head as he contemplated what he had said. “No, the whole country’s prestige depends on this working…and our security. The Chinese might be putting in the big bucks, but so are the Yanks. We pay for our defence hardware by selling energy. It has to work, or we lose big time.”
Support from his officer didn’t come. What he did get, was a grimace that could have been interpreted as compassion, but could have been contempt.
“I know that, sir,” Bouffler explained. “I would rather it had worked too. I never was convinced, as you know, but I could have been wrong and wish I had been. You were so strong on it. Unfortunately you’ve painted yourself into a corner. I tried to…”
“Crap!” Mulaney retorted. “Those charlatans at the CSIRO gave me the brush and Coal fucking Research gave me the paint. How was I to know? Bastards!”
“That’s not quite fair, sir. There were plenty of dissenting voices and it was you as Minister for Trade who overrode…”
“Listen,” Mulaney pleaded. “What would I know? I’m a lawyer, for Christ sake! I was guided by you. I thought I was protected by your credibility.”
“Perhaps I didn’t shout loudly enough,” he answered. “I knew it was my credentials that got me the job. That’s OK, but unfortunately I was a party faithful and wanted to believe your rhetoric on climate change.” Mulaney’s rising anger caused him to hold up his hands in supplication.
“Please hear me out.” A dubious nod was his answer and he continued, “My advice to you is to bite the bullet and admit now that it’s too unreliable and too costly. Between the leaks and the extra energy used for sequestration, there is precious little gain, if any. Then there’s leakage from coal seam gas and fracking.” He pointed downwards. “Coal in the ground is stable. Its gases and its oxides are not. They are the facts. Now, if I’m asked…”
“If you’re asked, you’ll dump it all on me!” growled Mulaney. “I want your resignation on my desk in the hour and your office empty before I go home or I’ll fire you publicly at my morning press conference tomorrow.”
“If that’s what you want, sir,” he replied, “you’ll have it, but it’s still my duty as your adviser to…”
“Your duty, Bouffl er,” he snarled, “is to keep your mouth shut. This comes under the Official Secrets Act!”
“Since when?” demanded Bouffler.
“Since now!” shouted Mulaney. “And if you as much as touch your phone, I’ll have you under the Terrorism Act. Got it?”
“Terrorism Act? That’s ridiculous. There’s no terrorism threat.” He began to wonder at the PM’s mental state, and asked more calmly, “Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not. If you tell the world geosequestration doesn’t work and start bleating about coal seam gas being unsustainable, this country will go broke and then how will national security look?” He turned, picked up his handset and stood facing Bouffler. “So that’s it, Mr Robert Bloody Bouffler. You’re fired!”
Mulaney appeared to change his mind. He sat, replaced the handpiece on its cradle and apparently busied himself attending to the pile of paperwork on his desk.
Bouffler
